Why am I so mean to people who say they 'like' me?

Question

I've recently found out that two people 'like' me through other people, although I pretty much knew it in the first place anyway.
But now I've actually been TOLD, I seem to not want to talk to them, I try to avoid them and give them short answers when I'm pretty much forced to talk to them and I can't look them in the eye.

Its not that I was great friends with these two people in the first place anyway, but I talked to them as friends...but now I come across mean and when I look back on it I think what an idiot I'd been to them.

Why do I do this?
What is wrong with me? No, I don't 'want' to date either of them, but why can't I just carry on like before?

I am in no way a *****, thank you. I have a right to report you for that.

I do have self-esteem issues, landgirl60, is it that noticeable? Lol.
Thank you to all other mature responses, shame some people just commented to insult me whilst hiding behind their monitors. *shrug*

Answer 1

Dont listen to those stupid people calling you a *****, its not true. When you dont like someone, you dont know how to react. You want to be nice but you cant because you dont know how to put it in a nice way (that's not a bad thing). You're a good person, but dont try and avoid them. Tell the people who like you that you dont want to see anyone. Just be friendly, no one is demanding you to date them and if someone is you dont HAVE TO listen to them they dont own you. Dont avoid them, you cant hide forever. There's nothing wrong with just being friends. I hope you understand =] Good luck!

Answer 2

Maybe you're just basically mean and this gives you an excuse to be yourself. My suggestion is to keep being this way and soon nobody will bother to say that they like you. Problem solved. I mean, you weren't great friends with them anyway, right. So if you continue to be mean, you can carry on without being great friends with anyone, just like always. Or you could stop doing this because you've recognized it as a problem. Maybe you just want to be examined and to think that you're a very complex person. We're not really. We make things more complicated than they have to be. I think you're trying right now.

Answer 3

Well you're not interested in them. It's not your fault, you're an attractive girl so you're going to have guys falling for you whether you like it or not. The problem is while you just might want to befriend them, they want to take it further and so you know with every move you make they might misinterpret it as romantic interest and every move they make might have an ulterior motive. What you basically have is an awkward situation with one-sided romantic tension. To be honest I think you are doing the right thing, better this than to lead them on and crush their feelings :)

Answer 4

Hey, don't worry about it, it's almost impossible to keep acting the same way after you find out something like that. It's cool, if I were one of the guys I wouldn't hold a grudge over it. I would just take the hint. Come to think of it, I have been in the exact same position as those guys as well as in your position. Really, don't sweat it.

Answer 5

I think it's because their liking you changed things. You had a nice friendship with these people...and all of a sudden they decide to change things by liking you...and you have no control over that. And that lack of control might be what's making you upset and not wanting to talk to them.

And you might also be upset because now that you know they like you...that's going to start a whole string of awkwards moments...and that's just annoying. So in order to avoid all that...you avoid them.

It's a natural reaction. Just be aware of it...and pretty soon you'll be able to change your reaction (if you want to).

Answer 6

I think it's because now you know that they like you, and maybe since you know you won't date them you are trying not to give them false hopes. Like, maybe if you are too friendly they might come under the impression that you like them too.

The same thing has happened to me. I become less talkative with those people and try not to talk to them. When I do talk to them, it's just quick, 2-3 word sentences.

Maybe you should just relax and next time you are near those two people, try and talk to them like normal. Ask them how their day has gone, what are they doing this weekend. Just because you are friendly and talkative doesn't mean you have to like them.

Answer 7

Maybe your being on the defence a bit cos you know they like you and you don't like them back the same way. Or maybe it has put you off acting normally cos you know they might have other intentions. Not sure but I can be the same sometimes so I think its normal (hope so anyway!)

Answer 8

Well it seems to me that you aren't actually mentally ready for a long term relationship. And you are throwing up barriers to protect yourself so that they don't like you and you don't have to deal with hurting their feelings or your own. However it doesn't work that way. Best way to do it is be honest and say I don't mind being friends but I'm not ready for any type of relationship.

Answer 9

its not because your a *****, and no, there is nothing wrong with you. I know a lot of people like you, including myself. I have been in your situation numerous times. If you arent comfortable carrying on like before, then dont. theres nothing wrong with that. sorry if i didnt help, i just understand where you are coming from.

Answer 10

Sounds like you are afraid you might like them to and are afraid of getting hurt. Good Luck! At least you know you are not being nice to people and might be able to make up for it. Next time you say hello to them you should say your sorry. It really means a lot.