Protective vs Overprotective. Should I be offended by what she said to me?

Question

During a conversation with another mom in my playgroup the other day, this is what she said to me: "Sometimes you're the most overprotective mom I know, you don't even want your son playing in a house with a gun." My son is 4 years old, and I do make a point to ask about guns in the houses we go to play at. I've never refused to play at a house that has a gun in it if it is locked away in a safe, or has a trigger lock (which so far has applied to everyone's house). I feel that I'm just being a proactive protective parent, and I've never considered that this would be overprotective.

So here are my questions:
1. Is this overprotective?
2. Should I be offended?
3. Should I say something to her?

Thanks for the great answers. To add more, we live in Idaho where its more likely than not that people own a gun (the start of hunting season is practically a holiday). I guess I take offense at the word 'overprotective' because I think it has negative connotations. I would never consider changing my stance on this subject because of what she said. Oh, and a 4 year old boy in our community found a gun in a dresser last year at his mom's boyfriend's house and accidentally killed himself so this is a potentially life and death issue.

Answer 1

I don't think you are being overprotective. Each person has their own parenting style and I tend to go with you. Our pediatricians ask every parent of a toddler about guns and gun safety at their check ups and so I think it's also a resonable question to ask parents of other playmates. Children can be curious and, in a world where the fear of guns has been diminished by t.v. and video guns, I think it's a great rule of thumb.

I wouldn't be offended. Even if you do feel slightly offended, that wouldn't change the fact that you ask other parents about this.

If the subject comes up again, I talk to her about it. If she doesn't bring it up, I would just let it go. The main point here is that you are a parent doing what it takes to keep your child safe. I don't think the extra precautions you take are over the top at all.

I hope this helps.

Answer 2

Oh come on! You don't let your son play in a house if there is an unlocked gun? Good for you! Is that being overprotective? Of course not! It's being smart and you know that, you don't need me to tell you? You're being a good mom, don't doubt yourself.
Not everyone has the same opinions about guns, so don't be offended by what that other mom said. She can raise her son how she feels fit and you can raise yours how you see fit.
Yes, you should say something to her. You should say "This is my child and I'm going to do what I think is right to protect him. You may think it is overprotective, but it's my decision."

Answer 3

I say better be "overprotective" than sorry. I am also extremely protective of my kids. I dont let them out of my sight and if they go on a playdate I go with them and I stay until it is time to go. I take them to school and pick them up myself; make sure they walk in front of me so I can see them at all times and they know in public they have to stay where I can see them at ALL times. Some people think I am too paranoid but I would not have it any other way. I just never want to be in a situation where my kids got hurt because of my negligence. I could never forgive myself. So to answer your questions, YES it is overprotective and so what is wrong with that? No, you should not be offended because you should take pride in your parenting skills and overprotectiveness is not a setback, it means you are caring and protecting your kid. What's the point of saying something to her? If she feels you are overprotective for not letting your kid play in a house with a gun, then she should take a page out of your book and be a little more diligent with her own kids.

Answer 4

Wait...This lady is saying that you're overprotective because you don't want your curious 4 year old playing in a house with a gun, where he might happen upon it accidentally?! That woman is ridiculous! I think you're being the perfect amount of protective! Wanting to make sure your son is safe is not being overprotective - it's being a safe and knowledgeable mother! Don't worry about what she said, just ignore it and don't bother saying anything to her. Just know that you're doing right by your son!

Answer 5

1. No your are not overprtective. It is your child.
2. No she is allowed to he opinion. She should just keep it to herself.
3. Say nothing and if she lets he child go to anyones house to play, she will have to deal with it. Even with locks, There are mishaps. Just keep your distance. If she brings it up again just remove yourself. from the play group. At Four you son will soon be in preschool if not already and play time at school. and hopefully a new circle of friends
also if you run ino the woman, and she brings the subject up just tell her you have heard her opinion and filed it away and there is not need to go into it again as you have your opinion and everone is allowed to develope there own opinion Tell her that that subject is closed. change the subject to planting a garden or going to the library orthe weather,......etc. Happy positve subjects:) when you leave, be sure to wish her a GREAT day.

Answer 6

no, not over protective. Sounds like you live in an area where people have guns, so your concern is very valid.
You should not be offended, first of all, how could that be an insult? You're probably just the first woman she ever heard express her concerns about guns.
Don't say anything to her, next time she has a concern, she'll look to you as a role model.

Answer 7

Shoot, what is this place? Nobody I know has a gun. You are a parent, you have every right to be protective and overprotective. If she has a problem with that it's her fault. I place my son on top of MY list.

Answer 8

Sweetie, you are doing the perfect thing to protect your child and you are being a very responsible parent.
Some parents are clueless as to how to protect their children.
You are forming good parental habits. It is funny to me that lax parents always call a responsible parent "overprotective" and I was even called "anal retentive" by a very lax mom.
Sticks and stones!!!
Can't you rise above someone with a lower IQ???
Don't let stupidity offend you.
Say hello and good-bye to her. Be nice and try to consider the source.
Watch how her children behave and how they look.
Then look at your happy, well child.
Good luck and may God bless you.

Answer 9

id visit the kin room with my toddler yet then there is relatively no component of church. yet its no longer effortless for me reason my church has the class rooms broken up in 6month durations to age 2 and then via 300 and sixty 5 days and then via grade. while we've been a small church and there replaced into hardly any nursery help we'd only enable 3 teenagers in line with person and as quickly as there replaced into 3 teenagers and the 4th replaced into coming we'd ought to ask that determine to stay and help perhaps they might get relieved of yet another worker or in line with danger no longer and then that they had the choice to stay interior the nursery or visit the kin room and many the time the mother and father might go away yet after awhile while they found out that in the event that they did no longer volunteer they might not get to church human beings did initiate volunteering. perhaps you additionally could make a tenet on the subject of the style of youngsters to person worker. good success.

Answer 10

Saying something to her probably won't make a difference if she is rude enough to stick her nose in other people's business.

It's your kid, if you don't want him near a gun, he doesn't get to be!

As long as you feel you're not being over-protective, who cares? If it was something really small, then maybe you should adjust rules, but guns are serious...

And why cant he play with them?

MOM SAID SO!! THAT'S WHY!! =)