Why forgive people?

Question

Ok I've been wronged by others so many times in the past. Its not only friends but relatives as well. We don't know what happens tomorrow. SO if I ever become successful I know those people will try to contact me again and stuff... Everyone keeps telling me to forgive them but I can't, they'll just hurt me again. So why do a bunch of you guys online keep telling people to forgive? Do you know how hard it is? You ever been thru the same situations?!

No matter how many times your gonna tell me to forgive my past friends and relatives, I'm not. I just want to know why everyone is being hypocritical to tell me to be the nice guy again. Its like telling me to suicide.

Thanks for reading.

Thank you everyone for answering. I guess I lacked knowledge of what forgiving meant. Your all right I will forgive them but I won't forget or treat them with respect they don't deserve. I wish you all luck and take care.

Answer 1

its better not to leave people with bad feelings

Answer 2

There's a big difference between forgiving and forgetting and it is possible and ok for you to forgive someone and not trust them.

Personally, I've realized that forgiving people doesn't have to be all about giving them a second (or 5th) chance, it can just be you letting go of the pain or stress that they've caused you. If you never forgive anyone you'll end up carrying that with you and eventually it can effect a whole lot more of your life than you might be ok with.

You are absolutely right, no one can tell you what you should do or judge you on it bc it's your life and you're the only one who has lived it and you're the only one who will keep on living it.. Just don't let what anyone has done effect your future in a negative way.

Answer 3

I myself have never been betrayed like you may have, but I still do forgive people. Usually it is religion that makes people forgive or thier parents say that it is right to forgive. It mostly comes from where and how you were brought up. That is mostly why people forgive, because they feel it is the right thing to do. Another reason could be that they feel if they forgive others those that they need forgiveness from will give it to them. Forgiveness to some people is like tossing something in the trash can, they could care less, forgive and forget. For others forgiveness is like thier heart and only give it to a few who they believe deserve it. The people telling you to forgive them may or may not have been in your situation. You yourself are being hypocritical. They may be telling you to forgive your family because they were in the same situation as you and regret not forgiving them. People may also feel like they are looking out for your best interest. But you really must learn to forgive because you don't want to shut the world out. I'm not telling you to forgive those who hurt you so badly, I'll admit I've never been in a situation like you have and hope that I never will be. But forgive the little things people do or you'll loose those who are closest to you and important in your life.

Answer 4

Forgiveness isn't about condoning what someone has done to you. It's about letting the transgression go and moving on.

I have been hurt terribly by friends and my family many times. I held it against them and it tore ME apart inside.

When you forgive something, you give yourself permission not to care or dwell on it anymore. That is all. Because holding onto grudges really only hurts you. It doesn't hurt the ones who did it to you.

Then, after you have done that part, you set yourself up not to be hurt that way by them again, by setting clear boundaries with them on what is appropriate for you and what is not. Sometimes people just need lessons in knowing how to handle a person. When they get guidelines, it makes the relationship a lot easier.

You don't have to say it's okay what they did, just that you're not going to let it determine your life anymore.

Hope this helps.

Answer 5

I understand what you are saying believe it or not.
As a christian we are taught to forgive one another. This is a very hard lesson for me. I ve had some very bad things happen in my life and I still have a wall up and I am trying to learn forgiveness, but not to forget. The most painful things are difficult to get past. With time things do get better. I will pray for you.

Answer 6

I can tell you...
you are right,
you should for give them, but don't forget what happened
especially if they hurted you more than once...
you can be a nice person, and still be careful
on the other side-
you can be mad at them, and never forgive anyone,
but it will not make you better than them...
that's what I think
(everyone will answer for their actions one day
and you just make sure you do more good in this life)
anger will only keep you away from all the good things in life

Answer 7

You asked we've been through the same situations? What situations or things did these people do that you don't think that anyone should forgive them and everyone here is being a hypocrite? How do you know that no one else went through that situation and forgave people that have done them wrong?

Answer 8

Forgiveness is hard. Especially that whole forgive and forget - does anyone have that thing from Men in Black to erase memories? What I do is, like the old folks say, feed them with a long handle spoon. That way they can't get close enough to hurt.

Answer 9

If you think those people will hurt you again, then don't forgive them. Just use your own instinct about whether to forgive someone or not, usually, that will be the best option. But then again, everyone does make mistakes, so do keep that in mind also.

Answer 10

That is your right to... Not forgive the people that have hurt you deeply in the past...but..if friends and relatives who have hurt you..have appologized and tried to make things better.It doesn't mean that makes everything ok...cuz it definately doesn't......but If you want no part of it...I honestly Hope one day..you're not in need* for something..and Someone turns their back on you.
I'm not trying to be hypocritical or anything....It IS VERY HARD to Forgive someone who has deeply hurt you..it doesn't mean you will forget. It doesn't mean you have to be best friends again or even talk to them....It is more so for the Benefit For YOU~* To be able to MOVE ON in life..and leave the past in the past rather than holding onto the painful memories of things that have hurt you/destroyed your entire being..etc............NOT.Only YOU but your loved ones around you are suffering also...as you're not moving on in life, enjoying life..becoming the successful person you will become....you're still dredging up painful happenings..it just Destroys your soul. I suggest to forgive and move on.Let it go...get it out of your system... But again...tis your choice and your right ...I don't know your entire situation, but' I've been through hell and back, I have tried to forgive and now im trying to move on and let it go. What's done is done, it can't be changed, i can't go back intime, yes it hurts like hell, but I won't allow it to take over my life..and dwell on past hurts....I forgive this person, ...it doesn't take what i went through away...but it allows Me to move on with my life* and begin LIVING ONCE AGAIN*

I hope this has helped. Takecare and keep on smilin*
May the Angels Always be With You~*

Answer 11

something that befell over 25 years in the past just about ruined my existence. each and every time i assumed approximately it, the hatred back. even even with the undeniable fact that the guy to blame in no way asked for my forgiveness, i ultimately did. somebody else in contact did ask and via that factor I had enable pass of the animosity. There are some issues which take place in existence that could in no way be forgiven or forgotten. i'm satisfied I chosen to no longer enable it wreck what years I actual have left.