ok so this is gonna be really long and i apalagize ahead of time but please read all of it,i was dating this guy for awhile and i wanted to break up with him so i did because i liked this other guy more,but when i broke up with i just told him that i wasnt ready for a serious relationship(which is true,just because i like the other guy doest mean that i want to start something with him),so i was seeking advice from one of my best friends before i did this and told her the whole truth, and i also told her not to tell my ex about the other guy because i didnt want to hurt him,and then i thought that me and my ex were ok, you know?, but then when i walked into lunch one day my friend who i confided in the day before told me that she told my ex the whole truth because it was eating her up inside and she felt so guilty about it,do you think this was right for her to do?
2007-11-03 05:03:27 · 10 answers · asked by courtney 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
and now my ex hates me and i hate my friend and now my ex just started to talkt to me after a week and he said that in order for us to be friends again...i have to forgive my friend who backstabbed me...do you think that this is fair?!?! PLEASE HELP ME!!!
2007-11-03 05:04:49 · update #1
ok for one thing i didnt lie....i did tell him the truth but there was just more to it...so technically that isnt lieing
2007-11-03 05:09:26 · update #2
and yes she does like him...but i liked him first and i knew him before she did...and i also introduced them to each other which i now think was a big mistake
2007-11-03 05:14:24 · update #3
Your friend needs to learn to keep her mouth shut for sure, that would be the last thing I'd tell her that I didn't want the world to know. Friends should be able to confide in one another without a doubt. You for sure don't owe her anything.
2007-11-03 05:09:26 · answer #1 · answered by kristen6105 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Two thoughts come to mind: First, it clearly was not right for her to betray the confidence you placed in her. Doing things like that is a sure-fire way to ruin a friendship, and developing a reputation as someone who does this will make it very difficult for that person to even make friends, never mind keep them.
The second thought is: Ask yourself why it is that you felt a need to tell someone "the whole truth." Wouldn't a simple statement saying "I just didn't feel like the two of us were a good fit together, at least not right now." have been enough and leave it at that? Just something to think about.
This is a hard lesson in learning about trust and discretion. I hope you're feeling better about this soon. It WILL pass.
2007-11-03 05:16:44 · answer #2 · answered by JMH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay to break up with someone but we owe it to people we care about to be honest, but kind. I suspect your motive in not telling your ex you liked another guy is also because you didn't want him to dislike you because of it. Your friend betrayed your confidence, if she couldn't keep your secret she should have told you before you told her or before she told your ex. Does she like him perhaps? None of you have behaved particularly well and your ex should not be insisting you forgive your friend. Maybe you will learn from this that it is always better to be completely honest, and being so is less hurtful in the long run.
2007-11-03 05:15:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok um.... where to start?! what your friend did was unacceptable and she should have told u what she was going to do before she told him so you would be ready. try to picture yourself in her shoes. what would you have done if she had told you what you told her and you felt guilty and felt like you had to tell her ex? talk to her and tell her how her actions made you feel and i hope that you two can patch things up. now that you know what kind of a person she is, i would not be telling her your personal secrets; just because you might forgive her does NOT mean that her "backstabbing" was forgotton. just like a glass, friendships can always be fixed when broken or shattered, but there always will be some cracks
:] good luck!
2007-11-03 05:09:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, your friend backstabbed you. She either is not a good friend and doesn't care about your secrets, or just has a big mouth and likes to gossip and needed some attention for something. The "i had to tell him it was making me guilty" excuse is probably one of the weaker ones I've heard.
2007-11-03 05:06:34 · answer #5 · answered by iwearmagnums05 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
oh maybe she likes your ex! what an as*! a real friend would not have told anyone your secrets. doenst matter how much it ate her up inside. i dont believe it was right for her to do that to you. i also think that you should have told him the truth. why did you need to lie? you were gonna leave him anyways.
2007-11-03 05:09:02 · answer #6 · answered by grunt's wife 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is what happens when you lie. Next time, tell the truth or keep your personal business to yourself.
2007-11-03 05:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, talk it out. Or maybe go to the school guidence conselor!
2007-11-03 05:07:30 · answer #8 · answered by October201996 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just forgive you friend it isn't that hard. you don't have to be firends with here just forgive her.
2007-11-03 05:07:28 · answer #9 · answered by hello 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
what the hell you toking,i think you your self also in the wrong,how to help you,,,,...
2007-11-03 05:09:47 · answer #10 · answered by arew o 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋