my daughter has been living with my aunt since birth and i want her now to come and live with me and her siblings i just got my son with me and now i want my daughter. my aunt has raised her since birth. i really appreciate her and my mother for raising them while i had the other two. i really appreciate it!!! but im older now and i realize that my kids need to be with their moms. i was a baby having a baby didn't have a clue about what i was gonna handle myself and also my grandmother raised me and i got to thinking about how i was feeling when i was not with my mom and how much i felt like i needed her. i asked my aunt about my daughter coming to live with me and she asked me have i lost my mind. what should i do? i want my daughter with me like everybody else
2007-11-03 04:39:51 · 9 answers · asked by ms nikki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
All I am seeing in your post is what YOU want and YOUR needs which tells me you still have a lot of growing up to do. When you are a mother you're suppose to put the needs of your child first. If your daughter has bonded with you aunt in a motherly way---and if they've been together since your daughter's birth, there's a 99% chance they have---it would be cruel to rip them apart just because you have longings and regrets.
Work out a visitation schedule with your aunt if you don't have one already and include your daughter in special events that happen at your house whenever possible. You can still have an important role in your daughter's life being more like an aunt. Pushing to take physical custody of your daughter---unless she is being abused---is very selfish. Please talk to a counselor or pasture about this if you can't accept that some mistakes in life cannot be undone no matter how much you want or have changed.
2007-11-03 05:09:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't wrong for you to feel the way you do, feelings are feelings. But... you have to do what is best for your daughter. There is a reason she is living with your aunt and that you just "got" your son. Those reasons may be reason enough for your daughter to stay where she is. It also depends on how old she is, if she knows you are her mom, what the situation in that household is. This NOT about you and what you want, it is about your daughter, If at all possible, talk with a social worker, counselor, pastor, parent educator or some other adult mentor. Good luck and remember, your daughter's best interest is more important that what you want.
2007-11-03 11:56:53 · answer #2 · answered by Iolean P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want your daughter, then go get your daughter. Tell Auntie thank you, but she's YOUR child. Kids didn't come with instructions, and I know your Auntie will be hurt, but at the end of the day, she's still your baby. Some people have been harsh, and I feel it's because of some deep seeded relationship issues. They need to feel wanted, needed, or perhaps are unable to conceive, and they will fight tooth and nail to hold on to a love that a child gives, no matter how courrpt the love they bestow apon that child is. A natural love when healthy and loving, is the best love!!
2007-11-03 12:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter needs to break the cycle of having babies out of wedlock. You haven't mentioned any fathers in this paragraph so I'm assuming that they are all out of the picture?
Your aunt has done you a favor. You can't be selfish. Be grateful to her and hope that she is being a good role model. You can still have bond with your daughter whether she lives with you or not.
2007-11-03 13:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by itsallgood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because when u were comin up u had such feelings does not mean ur daughter has the same.Though i feel where ur comin from but i think ur being selfish towards the child and the aunt think about it there all they know and have bult there life already now u think ur grown enough u want her with u and her siblings when there contint now.I'm rasin my nice for my sister i would be devastated,leave them alone.
2007-11-03 12:06:33 · answer #5 · answered by so curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A real mother does what is best for her child, not what is best for her. If you really think that its in your child's best interest and not just out your own personal selfishness, then do what you need to do. Most of us don't have the luxury of deciding when we parent our children, nice that you didn't have to be a mother until it was convenient for you. I'm not sure why everyone else has to pay for your bad decisions.
2007-11-03 12:16:18 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Aunt has grown like a mother to
your daughter (how old is your daughter).
That is a hard bond to break! Take is slow
w/ extended visitations, and see if your daughter
comes to trust you.
2007-11-03 11:52:49 · answer #7 · answered by Cher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is your daughter? Does she know that you are her mother? Do you have your own home and husband?
It is normal for you to want your daughter back, I don't think it is wrong at all.
2007-11-03 11:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand you were young but what is best for your daughter. can you give your daughter what you never had. if so the way i see it is every body gets a second chance you dont have to prove any thing to any one and if you make a mistake your the only one who has to answer for it they should understand that you are ready to be a mom to your daughter
2007-11-03 12:55:15 · answer #9 · answered by randeesweetsometimes 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋