Talking to a shy girl???

Question

I love this girl in school loads but whenever i want to talk to her i don't no what to say. We only ever have very short and limited conversations if that. She isn't shy around others, the same goes for me i'm shy around her but not anyone else.

I talk to her on msn (plz don't ask for my email i won't give u it) fine but when i'm in school i never can. My heart beats faster when i do, and i go red in the face. There is a lot of tension because i have liked her for 3 years this christmas and i have never had a conversation over about 1 min, so whenever i do my friends mock me etc. Plzzz help me, but don't give the obvious answers eg. become more confident unless you have good techniques.

she knows i like her and i bought her a £40 necklace for valentines last year

i have asked her out but she said 'i don't want a boyfirend right now' and she feels very uncomftable whenever we talk about me likin her

and she feels guilty because i have liked her for so long

when i asked her out it ws wen she had just jibbed her last n she liked sum1 else who she later went out with but got jibbed. if you want to help me my msn is '[e-mail]' but u need messenger i never read emails

Answer 1

i know you dont want the "become more confident" answer but that is the only real one.. there is not going to be any magical spell or anything that is gunna make something happen... you have to use your mouth.. it sounds like she likes you to if she is shy around you but not others...just dont think about it.. take a change and talk to her... i mean whats the worst that could happenn.. also you could mabey talk to one of her friends and ask her friend to talk to the girl if you are still afraid to do it yourself..good luckk

Answer 2

Well here's my opinion. It is obvious that you two can be friends because you can chat online. The problem comes when you encounter face to face. What you need to do is to just talk to her. There is really no way to overcome that anxiety without just facing it.
I wouldn't suggest you two be a couple yet anyway since you have never hung out as a couple. What I would do is invite her to some kind of social event and hang out together along with a group of friends or classmates. This way you don't feel as awkward in having to come up with a conversation starters. Try that and try just being her friend and getting better at talking to her before you take the next step in being a couple.
That's just my opinion.

Answer 3

first off i never communicate with anyone who "never uses email" ... how ignorant is that.

second of all; you don't LOVE "girls" in school. you may like them. you should step back, take a deep breath and study a bit on human relationships. Love is not a word to be bandied around like some ordinary run of the mill object.

and second, when you are too attentive, push yourself on a "girl" it is going to make her feel uncomfortable. be available; say hello and then back off if she does not respond. don't be so obtrusive into her life.

and look for interests that fulfill your life; volunteering, organizing, hobbies, sports. if the girl is interested she will begin to show it.

you should learn right now, you simply cannot force someone to like you just because you like them. life is not like that. and shouldn't be.

you are too wrapped up in what other people think; and come on, you should be intelligent enough to know that if you have known this "girl" for 3 years and only spoke to her for a minute, that might be clue number 1: she is not interested. there are plenty of "girls" out there ... stop fixating on one that has shown no interest. it is a waste of precious time that you will never get back. there are no do overs in life, so stop wasting the one you have been given.

Answer 4

It sounds like you are very attracted to each other. This makes it all the more important to be liked by each other. So shyness results. It is too bad you don't have better friends. Good friends would be encouraging making it seem that asking her out would be the thing to do. Instead, they probably raise the anxieties.

Fortunately, it is early in the school year. When a dance comes around, tell her that there is something you want to ask her. You don't need to know her better or talk to her for more than a minute to ask her for her accompaniment. If she is shy around you, I think the feelings are mutual.

Answer 5

It really is hard talking to shy people but the way to get them talking is to find a topic in conversation that they're interested in. Try to find out what this girl likes to do as a hobby that boys can do too or anything else that concerns her. Also, when ur friends make fun of you, go along with it and say, "So then, what do you think I should do about it??!!" Eventually the more you guys talk, the more you'll feel comfortable around eachother.
Good luck

Answer 6

aw how nice!!!

umm i think that if you are really interested in this girl and she isn't in a relationship. You should find a way to let her know how you feel. Send her roses and a letter telling her that you like her....take her out to eat and start talking to her in person as a friends and then after the 3rd time going out tell her how you feel.

You have to be willing to lose your communication with her because when you tell her you like her either she can like you or not like you.

Good luck and try your best to ask her out, you only have one chance and you don't want to loose your oportunity to some other person.

take care


IF she knows you like her then ask her if she will ever give you a chance if she sais no then don't waste your time or money on her. some women all they want is your money and attention but they don't even give you the time of day..


take care of your self!!!

Answer 7

well u need to act like shes just another person picture ur best friend when u talk to her i know shes more to u but she is just a girl and its not hard to talk to her ask her to go to the mall with u or go to a movie then ull have something in common and can start a conversation about that its okay that uve liked her so long i think its cute become her friend cuz which is worse having her in ur life as a friend or not at all?? tell her u wanna be her friend so she wont think that u expect a girlfriend cuz a lot of girls dont want a bf unless one comes to them be the perfect friend (and by that i mean good friend u can screw up and stuff) show her ur a good person and dont bring up the fact that u like her unless u r ready to chance ur budding friendship!! i hope this helps so ask her to the movies and become her friend

oh and some conversation tips....
talk about whatever is bugging u
look for clues that tell u she rlly doesnt wanna talk right now
ex looking around not paying attention not facing u looking at the clock

ask clarifing questions but dont make it like 20Q if she say something about the weather ask her what her favorite season it and when she says hers ask her why then say urs and if she says when her birthday is that really doesnt requre another question leave it at that

dont be creapy dont say reallly personal things at first and if u r going to say something weird or embarising start by saying do laugh do u promise u wont laugh of corse shes gonna laugh but at least she knows u think its weird too

trust her with stupid stuff at first let her know u trust her but dont spill everything like say ur opion of other girls

on occasion tell her u like her hair top pants ect or just that she looks pretty just not too much and not at the wrong time on occasion tell her in front of her friends or just be herself

dont call her too much but deff make an effort it may be wayyy more acward at first but u have to

try avoiding online conversation if possible

hope this helps!!!!!

Answer 8

Wow. Ok, this is tough. Nobody 'Doesn't want a boyfriend' at age..14? did you say 13? And if it was 3 years ago, well..when I was ten, I was already French kissing. So, let's see..The gift thing was nice, unless you gave it to her in front of everyone. That makes a girl feel..watched. And, yeah, well, you should defenitly give her a nice Christmas gift, but don't come on to strong..Because it sounds to me she's just not interested.

Answer 9

She probably likes you but maybe feels just as uncomfortable around you as you do her. Otherwise maybe she only likes you as a friend/brotherly type which if that's the case then I am sorry :( I guess the best thing to do is come right out and ask her....whether it is face to face or over IM....if you are someone she would ever be interested in dating or if she just sees you as a friend. Good luck! :)

Answer 10

Cute...Ok two shy people around each other, what to do???
First what you need to do is relax. If you really like this girl you need to let her know and you need to talk to her more. Even if its for a few minutes, then the next time longer and so on. Some times we all run into situations were were are uncomfortable...Now we can choice to either shy away or go after what it is we want...Talk to her about whatever you talk about on the Internet, relax, keep a smile on your face and know you can do this...Convincing yourself is the key here, now go get your girl...

Answer 11

Maybe you should date another chick and find out her reaction.. sounds like to me if you have had a crush on her this long and if it has not gone ANYWHERE chances are it won't! also making her feel guilty is not going to land her as a girlfriend. I say drop her and move on. You answered your own question. she is uncomfortable when you talk about you liking her. Maybe you should move on. It might lead to being called Stalking!
Sorry that is my honest answer. I know your young but ya got to hear the truth! good luck more fish in the sea!