How do I correct this mistake?

Question

I made the mistake of telling my ex-husband my daughter's grades for the first marking period. It was just a progress report and does not show on the transcripts.

She got 2 B's and a C in Honors Chemistry.

She is a junior in High School. She used to live with her Dad until now. He lives in another state.

Now, he is very upset and keeps calling.

I don't know what to do.

My daughter will be mad at me too....

Answer 1

What kind of grades did she get when she lived with him? If she recently changed schools there could be any reason for the difference in her grades. It could be the work is more difficult or she may be going through some adjustment issues. As you stated, this is just a progress report and it's purpose is to show you where she is and to alert you to any needs she may have.

First talk to your daughter to be sure she's doing her very best. That's all you can ask of her. Try to find out if there is anything holding her back. Once you've determined she's doing the best she can or if she needs some help adjusting, you'll have a better idea of what to do for her.

Next, talk to your ex. Ask him what exactly it is that he's upset about and what he wants to accomplish with his phone calls. From what you say, my suspicion is that he's upset she's living with you and that he wants to show you that he's the better parent. You may want to remind him that your daughter's needs should come first. If he's willing to help her adjust, great. If all he wants to do is run you through the mud, he needs to find a better way to handle his emotions. If you don't have caller ID, get it. You don't have to answer the phone every time it rings.

Answer 2

Tutors

You tell him and her that this is a sign that you need a tutoring service. I believe that Sylvain tutoring is every where in the US and there is a lot of outsourcing of tutoring to India done over the computer.

C's in Honors Chemistry are equal to B's in normal Chemistry and that is no shame. Yes you want her to do better and with a tutor she should be able to improve an entire letter grade.

You can contact her father and tell him that you used the progress report to tell you that she needed a tutor. This is an indication before the grades become final. You can tell you daughter the same thing. Just because you are having trouble now doesn't mean you can't pass the courses. You just need some extra help and we can do that with torturing.

The situation is still savable and you want to know the progress report shows she is having trouble so you can get the tutor to help her before it becomes too serious.

In college physics I had a 60 grade point average on the tests and that was with a tutor! But the course was so hard that this ended up being an A with the curve. Chemistry is not easy, especially if she has to get involved in quantum mechanics, but that isn't something to be ashamed of. What you can be ashamed of is IF you don't take this point to help her.

Once you get the tutor then let your daughter field the calls and let her tell her father how she is doing. Some of these tutors are cheaper than $10/hour. These Honors level courses are important, because if she is going to college they are the difficulty level of college courses. If she does well in them, even after requiring a tutor, then that shows she can handle college material. This is a major factor in making a decision on admission by the College Board. I know the fact that I took honors courses helped a lot in my case.

It is not too late, get a tutor and save your daughter and save the day.

From your past questions I know you are in a no win situation so the best you can do is try, try, try. Tell your husband that you are in a no win situation here because this high school isn’t the same as her old high school and she can’t expect to perform as well. She also has the stress of moving to a new district to deal with and living in a new place. Of course her performance is going to suffer. The important thing is that you are catching it before it enters the transcripts; you are on the job here.

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Answer 3

Maybe it would help if you send it to him so he will see that it is an interim notice and she has plenty of time to bring up the C if she is capable of it. Two B's and a C in HONORS Chemistry is not bad. My daughter took several honors courses each year and I know they have a lot of classwork and homework in those classes. My daughter's advisor said that it was better to receive a B or C in an honor's class than an A in a regular class. Just passing an Honor's class in our school district adds points to her graduating point total, it may do the same in your district. Your husband also must realize that changing schools is hard and each school district grades in a different way and teaches in different ways and he needs to give her time to adjust to everything - living with you, not living with him, change of schools, change in friends, not to mention that the teenage years are so difficult anyway. You need to call him back and tell him he needs to back off or he could send her over the edge and you won't allow that to happen. And you need to let your daughter know that you inadvertently mentioned the progress report to her father in a phone conversation and he blew it all out of proportion so she will be prepared and not caught unawares if he flies off the handle with her in a conversation sometime. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

First of all, your daughter needs to take the full responsibility of her grades. Perhaps you need to let you X talk to your daughter because that's who he should upset with. So what you daughter will be mad- again it boils down to her responsibility. You do not need this aggravation- put it where it belongs- hand the phone over to her.

Answer 6

Just talk to your ex and say it isnt a big deal.. And talk to the teachers about how we can bring up her grade... B's and C's aren't bad at all those are pretty easy to bring up...

Answer 7

HEY! WHATS YOU HUSBAND GOT AGAISNT B's AND C's!!! i remember i was a kid, i'd thank my lucky stars for a B-

just tell him that everyone makes a couple of mistakes and that she can do better. its really no big deal

Answer 8

What is the mistake? Keeping the other parent informed?