I have just started dating a guy who works a lot (~80+ hours per week).
We have a dynamic whereby he will be having so much fun when we're together that he'll offhandedly make plans with me for the next day. But I think he doesn't always think this through, and then realizes that he will have to get up early and then ends up canceling with me. This leaves me feeling disappointed and without enough time to make other plans.
I don't want him to feel obligated to spend a lot of time with me. I'm afraid he'll start to think I'm too much of a drag on his time since he always has to "let me down." But the thing is that he invites me!!
I don't know how to handle this. Basically, I want hanging out with me to feel like fun, not another obligation on his time. It's such a new relationship that I don't know how to broach the topic.
2007-11-03 01:53:53 · 8 answers · asked by quirkyfunnyone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Easy there, little turtle.
The best approach is to simply not make plans but to "play it by ear" and get together when both of you are available. If you know that he's likely to have to cancel his plans with you, then ask him head-on when he makes the offer if he has other obligations that might hinder the plans, and perhaps that will make him consider the offers more before making them.
2007-11-03 01:59:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest. Let him know that you understand that he has to work a lot, but ask if he could take a day off or a couple of hours and that is when you two can spend time together. It's always best to discuss this early in the relationship instead of waiting. Best of Luck!
2007-11-03 01:57:40 · answer #2 · answered by The one who knows 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he is taking the initiative to plan things to do with you means he really likes you. Since he works so many hours, you just have to be flexible. This a red flag if the relationship gets more serious though. If you get married and have children, he's always going to be working.
2007-11-03 01:59:49 · answer #3 · answered by Bella 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, next time he spontaneously starts making plans with you, why not mention something then. express your concern that he'll be too tired for work.
2007-11-03 01:57:16 · answer #4 · answered by You'll Never Take Me Alive!! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next time he asks you, just ask him if he's sure he's not busy, or remind him he's got work. Just tell him the problem.
2007-11-03 02:06:33 · answer #5 · answered by Konfuzzled Kawaii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time he invites you, don't get all excited and accept, remind him of his time constraints.
2007-11-03 02:00:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think he is compelled to leave and would love to spend more time with u
2007-11-03 02:05:26 · answer #7 · answered by Bubli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't serious about the relationship.
2007-11-03 01:58:07 · answer #8 · answered by JustANiceGuyHere 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋