I've been dating someone for a short while and things have been going great. Even though I'm shy and insecure, he seems really into me (the feeling is mutual).
However, I am so full of self doubt...I know I ask for too much reassurance from him. I just don't even always realize I'm doing this until I think about it afterwards, so it's hard to avoid it.
I'm already in therapy, but I need help with getting my anxiety. My therapist thinks I have these problems because my dad left home when I was very young.
How does someone who is confident act in a relationship? I want to learn to be more like this!
2007-11-03 01:47:40 · 5 answers · asked by quirkyfunnyone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it's good that you were able to acknowledge that you have a problem... and that you had therapy for this....
i think, you simply have to trust your partner that he really likes you... it's really something you have to keep in mind...
your therapist was right, maybe when your father left you, it made you feel unwanted (consciously or unconsciously) and had trouble feeling the trust that an infant has to feel...
try reading the theory of erik erikson.... psychosocial theory of developmental... you can find your answers there...
maybe when you were an infant, you were not able to establish trust (which your parents should have given you), and because of this, as a kid, you were not able to acheive autonomy, etc... which means that there was a delay in all the stages that you should have acheived... search the net... you'll find it there...
gud luck with that...
2007-11-03 02:23:07 · answer #1 · answered by ♀ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several books that may help and I will give you a link to one here. Some of that may be because your dad left when you were young but it might be a bit of a need to build up your own self esteem as well. you have to remember that we can not control the actions of others, or often understand them, so while your dad left, it may be that he and your mother didn't get along for some reason - not happening in the case of you and your friend - or perhaps he simply wasn't that good as a father but either way, no reflection upon you and who you are. We can not control the actions of others and you could not control whether your father left or stayed so you can only become the best you can be and reflect upon how much he missed out on not being there for you. Good luck!!
2007-11-03 09:10:32 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for starters you shouldnt be in a relationship if you are not confident and independent. thats how alot of girls fall into that abusive relationship and cant get out. keep the relationship casual like see each other once maybe twice a week till you get your self good. for starters you need to learn to function by yourself. im avery confident person and you really need the who cares what they think. ive been know to be one of those ppl whos independents wears off on others. JUST REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU ISNT YOU BUT IT HELPS MAKE YOU YOU! ive worked through these problems with my partner and hes got confident and fixed all his external problems now hes in a situation where he is standing on his own 2 feet and doesnt always need to ask me. i think you just need a strong friend to lead untill you find your own feet.
2007-11-03 09:08:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
has he ever gave you any reason to be insecure if not there is not any reason to be feeling like that in order to learn to not be insecure you must be able to first trust and completely at that to if you truly think that that guy like you than place your trust in him. secondly gave space show him that you know he has his freedom even thou ur together you know like he still has his active life and not have to make any big change because he is with you. this a just a lil of what i did in trying not to be the same
2007-11-03 09:04:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have some confidence.
2007-11-03 08:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by JustANiceGuyHere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋