I've been with my bf for two years and until 3 months ago have been very much in love. We were planning a trip together, were saving for a house and had spoken about marriage. But, a few months ago I fell for someone at work. I had always had a bit of a crush on him, but never had any intention of pursuing it. At my work dinner we had a party pash, and I told my bf, who forgave me. But after this, I starting feeling really strongly for the guy from work, and eventually slept together. I broke up with my bf, saying I was confused and needed a break.
Since then, it looks like the guy from work was just using me. My bf and I am back together, but I am really heartbroken about what happened with the guy from work. I feel like I shouldn't be with my bf if I have such strong feelings for someone else, even if they are unrequited. I dont want to throw away something really special for a silly crush. But if I really loved him, how could I have had such strong feelings for someone else?
2007-11-02 21:40:11 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just to fill in the gaps that people have asked...
I never asked my boyfriend to take me back - he asked me to take him back! I was totally surprised, but I means I feel like I don't even have to try... relationships are supposed to be a two way street, right? There's nothing for me to work for in the relationship.
Also, the bf is very unmotivated in the career department and it has always been a sore point of our relationship. I'm a lawyer and very motivated and so is the guy from work. It was like he was exactly what my boyfriend wasn't...
2007-11-02 23:07:05 · update #1
Just thank your lucky stars your boyfriend is so forgiving and still has it in him to take you back. I know I wouldn't.
2007-11-02 21:43:01 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are not ready for all that commitment just yet. You sound quite young and why tie yourself down like that? I think it's true that if you really loved your boyfriend you would not have really strong feelings for someone else. I'm sorry this other man used you it's not surprising you were confused. Your boyfriend sounds a diamond but he's just not special enough for you. Maybe in 10 years time he would be the perfect man but right now you need to have fun. Your boyfriend is making it too easy for you by having you back all the time, wouldn't you have more respect for him if he put his foot down and said I'm not having this? Take a good break from him to get your head together.
2007-11-03 06:04:32 · answer #2 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would not by a house or any commitment like that until you have sorted your feelings out. IT will not go away by avoiding it. I would ask yourself "What did the Guy from work give you that your BF does not?" there is obviously something your are not getting from your relationship. Once you define it, maybe your can refine your current relationship instead of ending it...
2007-11-03 04:49:37 · answer #3 · answered by StopPanda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u are just with your boyfriend because you got played that is not fair to your bf no one has to sleep with someone else and getted dumped to realize they are really in love with their bf
What would have happened if the co worker was not using u then you would not have went to your bf but since it was just sex to the co worker you went back to your bf
you need to take a break and regroup some stuff because this will come up later in the relationship if you don't deal with it now
2007-11-03 04:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by In LOVE with KNOWLEDGE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feelings can be wrong.
You know that the guy is using you & your boyfriend lovges you... so the question should be - what do you want now? someone who respects & loves you & will not use you??? or someone who have taken you for a toy?
Hope that sorts your confusion out
2007-11-03 05:10:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your away from your boyfriend do you:
A) Think about this other guy non stop
B) Not even wanna think about your bf
C) Cringe at the thought of your bf
D) Dread at the thought of seeing ur bf
If any of these answers is correct then you definately have fallen out of love with your boyfriend
Hope things turn out better for you
2007-11-03 07:30:13 · answer #6 · answered by Milly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be honest to yourself and your bf. It is unwise to keep a relationship with divided heart. Take time out or a break to really find yourself.
2007-11-03 04:57:15 · answer #7 · answered by Rhythm of the Falling Rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no:
you love your bf. We love a lot of people, right?
So you just got confused and you really love your bf.
Your office mate used you and you have strong feelings for him? well, That will go off after him using you :)
2007-11-03 04:46:32 · answer #8 · answered by rica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you don't appreciate what you have. He was a fool for taking you back - no offense to yourself, but I am sure if you don't feel strongly for him, you will stray again
2007-11-03 04:45:41 · answer #9 · answered by extremely_confused 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like you say...it's a lust thing & that can be very powerful - dont you think we always tend to want something that we cant have & then it drives us crazy?!!
i wouldn't marry your boyfriend until your head is straight though & you know for sure what you want..otherwise you will ruin your boyfriends life & he doesnt deserve that!
2007-11-03 04:46:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋