can you make a relationship work with someone who can't talk about their feelings?

Question

my boyfriend is a wonderful person...as long as I don't ask him to talk about some of the stuff he went through growing up. he had a very hard childhood and sometimes we'll be talking and I touch upon a sore subject and he snaps at me and basically tells me to mind my own business (not in those exact words). he CANNOT deal with what he went through and trying to talk about any of it makes him very angry. never violent, but rude and disrespectful. sometimes he'll admit that he has a lot of anger leftover from being treated poorly as a child but other times he completely denies that there's a problem. my question is this....Can we have a happy healthy relationship if he never deals with what he went through? Should I respect his decision to not discuss certain things so that we can avoid arguments?

for example: because there was a lot of cancer in his family he is very afraid of dying but refuses to go see a doctor. he gets mad at me if I even mention making an appt.

Answer 1

Yes, it is possible to have a relationship with a guy like this....just not a good one. All you have to do is not ever talk about his feelings. And you will be happy.

You won't get a real relationship out of this guy. The chance of getting him help is slim. You could ask him too, though he will say no. Your other two options are to force/blackmail him or nag him everyday. Neither is such a great thing for a relationship.

And chances are you 'love' him too much to leave him....so that just leaves you stuck.