to visit me form iraq. He has ofered to pay my bills as well as my tuition (since i dont resive financial aid). I want to make him happy but i feel that this is not his responsibility what should i do?
2007-11-02 15:23:00 · 16 answers · asked by yeni 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like your call...
This sounds like a common control tactic used by a lot of controlling boyfriends / husbands.
Society for the most part accepts someones decision and responsibility to work.
All though, he could just really want to be around you all the time... a bit creepy, but sweet.
2007-11-02 15:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by Mattimus Rex 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long will he be visiting? If only a short time, you could make that time off a pre-condition with your employer. Many would not go for it, but some might. As for your bf paying your bills.... hmm, i think that depends on how serious you are about him. Do you plan to marry him if he asks? If you would, then it may be okay/appropriate to accept his generosity. However, if not, I feel you would be using him and taking advantage of him. Bottom line is you are not married to him, and you have to do what you have to do to get by. If that means working then that is what you need to do, regardless of what your bf wants you to do. It's not like he was drafted. He joined becaus that is what HE wanted to do. Now you have to do what YOU want to do. You can't let a man make important decisions for you. This is YOUR life.
2007-11-02 15:32:08 · answer #2 · answered by Yinzer from Sixburgh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right....
I understand he is in difficult situation because of his deployment to Iraq, but having you on stand-by for his sole purpose, is rather an dangerous sign. You need the money and you need the experience. I wonder if he sees you as someone who's job is to cater to his needs? I think you are acting very responsibly and reasonably. I think the issue goes beyond just money.
I think, an employer who is reasonable will give you some time off for situations like this. His leave is proabably not that long.
2007-11-02 15:30:02 · answer #3 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you can talk to him about you not wanting to depend on him and that you want to take responsibility if he still doesnt agree maybe use can come to an agreement so that you can work part time because its not just paying your bills and your tuition you still need food and clothes and if you go somewhere you still need money he cant give you every thing and if you get a part time job you dont have to work every day but yet you can still earn some money to tide you over
2007-11-02 15:27:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeni:
Get a JOB! Save some money.
Go to school & get a Marketable
Job Skill that will sustain you thru life!
Pick something you like~
& what few people know how to do!
Take responsibility for your OWN Life!
Do NOT get married or have kids~
*until you have laid a firm Foundation!
This is the Key To Life~
in a nutshell !!
2007-11-02 15:38:24 · answer #5 · answered by LedHead 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's going to pay your bills (and make sure it gets paid!), then go ahead and take his offer. Think of it as a vacation for you too. He won't be visiting you for a long time so you can get a job again when he's not visiting. I think it's really sweet of him to do that for you.
2007-11-02 15:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well thats true it isnt but he is just trying to help you because appearieantly he loves you very much and he has nothing to do with his money, but just take it as a good sign that he loves you, but if you really want to pay it your self just say thank you, but I dont want to relie on anyone I want to prove I am capable of making it on my own or something like that :)
2007-11-02 15:27:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this guy truly cares about you he should understand and support you if you want to have a job. It sounds shady that a man who is supposed to care about wants to be available at his convenience. I understand that when he gets back from Iraq he would want to spend time with you, but your time is yours. If you want to have a job you are allowed to get a job. This is not the 1950's! Boyfriends should not dictate when you are allowed to have a job.
2007-11-02 15:35:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh...just because you have a job doesn't mean you won't have time for him...it's really nice of him to offer but he's your boyfriend and I don't think there is a ring on your finger therefore he doesn't get a say in your life. Bit harsh, I know he's a hero but he's got to remember America is a democracy (allowing girlfriends to work if they need to).
2007-11-02 15:28:43 · answer #9 · answered by Amzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should get a job only time u take time out is honeymoon or if u both have a baby or atleast thats what my mother used to say i would love to take time out and spend it with my partner too but my mother told me that when i told her i was taking time off
2007-11-02 15:28:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋