is it a good thing if we do??? wat would happen if we dont...but what if u really like this guy and ur parents like him too?
2007-11-02 13:25:49 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Ramadan
you choose who you marry NOT YOUR PARRENTS
2007-11-02 13:28:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 4⤋
Well, the common misconception is that if you get arranged married, that your parents are forcing you to marry someone against your will. This is not allowed in Islam. Every woman has a choice to marry who she wants, whether she has an arranged marriage or not. If your parents introduce you to someone as a "candidate" and you do not like him for whatever reason, then you can say no. It's not your parents choice, it's your choice. And, Islamically, you have to see the other person before you agree to say yes or no to get married.
But if you really like a guy and your parents like him too, then I don't see anything wrong with that! You have to like and love the person you marry, there is no specific order in the way things happen. As long as you are not doing haraam things together, it's better that you do it the proper, Islamic way, without sin. I have friends who had love marriages and I also have friends who had arranged marriages, and all of them are happy, Allahumdulillah.
2007-11-05 03:57:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
After seeing so many people make a wrong choice, I'm a little bit more understanding of why at some point the marriages are arranged by parents in many cultures. Not that I totally like it, but I understand the reason. Probably there should be some good training provided by the parents but enough independence to chose by ourselves.
2007-11-02 13:30:15 · answer #3 · answered by Lourdes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your parents. They might arrange your marriage for business reasons like expanding their company with the guy's parents company, or to get you to marry a person that they deem worthy of you. It's only a good thing if you like the guy, and that it would be more beneficial to your parents but if you want to marry the guy that you will fall in love with, then it's a bad thing. If you don't marry the guy against your parents will, then chances are, they will probably disinherit you (or most likely threaten you) or be extremely mad at you. But just so you know, YOU govern your own life, not your parents. So do whatever makes you happy. If you like the guy, then good for you and your parents, if you don't, then rebel! Or try talking to them.
2007-11-02 13:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by Hanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arranged doesn't mean your forced to marry, it just means your parents or whom ever have a guy for you to meet and if you want to get to know him and marry it's your option. Many Americans are set up on a dates by friends or family members, so it's kind of the same thing. Your parents only want you to have a safe environment to meet your future husband. Don't think about the olden day arranged marriage where your dad promises you away at birth, or where you met your husband at the wedding. I don't see anything wrong with it, many people do it but they have different names for it. Good luck, and be safe.
2007-11-03 06:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by me me 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No it isn't 'supposed' to be. It CAN be that way.
Apparently people here don't understand the difference between arranged and forced. Forced marriages are absolutely not permissable in Islam. Arranged is permissable as both the man and woman have to agree. The 'arrange' part just means they were introduced through family/parents...it doesn't mean they HAVE to marry the person.
2007-11-03 02:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by ~~∞§arah T∞©~~ 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think that if you love each other and you and your family agrees on the marriage, why not? That's the most important thing. If your family likes the man you love, then you are very lucky in life.
Congratulations. I'm happy for you. (It's hard to find a wonderful man/woman.)
If you are worried about 'others' who will put you down... I say don't worry about them. They aren't living your life. So, just let them talk. (Just so you know, gossip NEVER ends... You could marry the person they picked out for you, and they will STILL gossip about something else that "THEY" don't like about you. It's stupid. So, ignore it.)
You hold your head up high and say, "I'm happy...and she/he's a good wo/man. This is the life I want."
Simple as that.
2007-11-02 13:35:03 · answer #7 · answered by NoNameLady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents had an arranged marriage (fairly subtly arranged, like matchmaking, but there was definite preasure that they yielded to). It worked fine... for about 9 years, then they got divorced.
Unpleasant, but I'm still thankful they got together, for the obvious reason.
2007-11-02 13:29:48 · answer #8 · answered by B.Kevorkian 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Acctualey it doesnt matter but for a girl the parents have to meet the guy, to make sure hes good. But studies show that th emost divorces are love marriges.
Go figure. Maybe there not in love!!
2007-11-06 12:13:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you asking if you like a guy and your parents like him too but the marriage wont be arranged? Then its a great thing that your parents and you like this boy!!
2007-11-02 13:28:41 · answer #10 · answered by =) 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Historically the people in arranged marriages have statistically been HAPPIER than others.
I don't know if it is a good thing. But the above statement is a fact.
2007-11-02 13:29:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋