Why is my daughter a whiny, tired, rude, child all of a sudden?

Question

My daughter started kindergarten this year and she is utterly exhausted all the time. She was recently diagnosed with sleep apnea about 1 yr ago and she was sent to a specialist. Her adnoids and tonsils were then removed. After starting school, she has become rude, exhausted, "mean faces" all the time, and hardly smiles or laughs any more. She gets about 10 hrs sleep a night, and the school doesn't allow for naps. She gets home and has started with seriously whiney, rude statements until we let her know that is not allowed in the house. She moves with no motivation or speed. Everything takes forever. If we aren't given her constant prompts, she never does anything on time. Kindergarten doesn't seem to be about fun anymore. It seems like it is trying to create little robots and pushing kids a little early. No naps and more of the play equipment has been removed from the school to lessen lawsuits. Lack of rest and fun seem to cause distress. Any suggestions? Thanks!

Answer 1

she is tired. period. is there another school you can transfer her to?

Answer 2

Wow! I'm a mother and I'm concerned.

Not sure where you are living, but Kindergarted in not a requirement in Southern California. If you don't have to put your child there, immediately take her out. You can teach her how to count, her alphabet and other basics at home.

If taking her out isn't an option, find a school that emphasizes what you feel is the foundation of a great education.

Also, remember that when kids begin school, they are being introduced to new stimuli, people and new children. Oftentimes, they pick up behaviors that they witness during the day. If you can, stop by unexpectantly and observe your daughter's class, teacher and environment. It might open your eyes to something you've over looked.

It also sounds like your daughter may be mentally exhausted. There's so much going on that maybe she's really tired. Make sure she's getting high protein nutritious snacks and meals and is taking naps.

Take care.

Answer 3

Welcome to the world of 5 year old girls...I'm serious. There is a switch that flips between 4.5 -5 yrs of age...

She is in a new environment where she exposed various new attitudes and behaviors. Children at this age simply do what other children do. It's the normal process of development. You just have to be on top of it helping her find herself and understanding what behaviors are not accepted within your family. Does she talk differently?? When my daughter makes a new friend she will begin to act just like that child (behavior and to the point of speaking just like that child.) Drives me crazy!!! :)

Does she behave this way in both environments? Has the teacher indicated this behavior as well?

My daughter and I are still going through this process. In fact she has attended Montessori since the age 2.6. I love the method, but children in this environment can vary. Some become independent workers, which is the concept of the method. However, some like my daugter, took advantage of the situation knowing very well that the teachers could only SUGGEST that they complete the school work..Then my daughter assumed she could do this at home as well. " I make my own choices!!!"... I finially pulled her out of the school and will place her in public school. Montessori is not for all children. The point is, that she started testing her newly discovered authority at home. She was trying to express controll over her own being..

Remember they are being told what to do all day long.. At this age they discover "self", test boundries and almost drive you crazy..Find some good resources on the topic and see if this fits your child.

If you believe this is a fatigue issue, why don't you just have her take a nap directly after school? Perhaps, she needs it.

Honestly, I think it's just both issues hitting you at the same time. But, you should keep a journal just in case it does develop into a medical condition..


Note: I agree with the Montessori comment above regarding ADHD children as Marie created this method for children with at a disadvantage (LD). Those children really do spread their wings in this environment.

Answer 4

Your child needs discipline and right away. When my son was about 5 years old we had a problem with him talking to
strangers. Here's how we handled it: One day when he was
playing in the yard I had a friend from work drive
by the house. He lured my son to his car with the old "Wanna see a
puppy?" story. Then he threw him in the back seat and drove him around
for a few hours shouting at him things like "You'll never see
your parents again!". Then he dropped him off at a 7-
11. I just "happened" to be driving by and picked him up. Since then he
rarely leaves the house. He doesn't make eye-contact
with anyone and speaks only to us. He has a slight twitch on the right
side of his face but that's a small price to pay for peace of mind.

Answer 5

It's REALLY hard getting used to kindergarten! There are a ton of new faces, and new rules, and itt's a long day, and a long week.

My niece had a similar problem...Finally, my brother & his wife made a calendar for her. Each day after school, she would put an X through the day, so that she could keep better track of what was going on in her life. When she finally figured out that there was a pattern to weekdays & weekends, she settled down and started handling it all much better.

Answer 6

Sounds as if she has some condition that should be looked at by a doctor. Her health may not be all that good. Does she have thyroid problems? Or maybe mono? It could be just tiredness but it also could be something more serious like diabetes.

I just heard last night that some of our presidential candidates want pre-school to begin at the age of three. When is a child supposed to have a childhood these days? Reminds me of the old Soviet Union!

Answer 7

Kindergarten is not for everyone. Public school is not for everyone. Some children show difficulties getting adjusted in public school very early (like your daughter). That doesn't mean that anything is wrong with *her*. Public school does not cater to children's individual needs, learning styles, personalities, and temperments so it is easy to understand why there are some children who just never feel comfortable with it. Have you considered homeschooling? It is a great thing to do in general, and is really beneficial to children whose individual needs are not being met in the public school. If you want more information about homeschooling just drop me a line!

Good luck to you and your daughter! Poor thing!

Answer 8

Hmmm. As a mother im thinking its not just a phase. I think you should transfer schools for sure, and if you are a stay at home mom maybe homescholing even because then she can get as much sleep as sh needs and you can keep and eye on her and spend time with her and other stuff like that.

You should also try to talk to her and be kind and understanding. Ask her about kindergarten and whats been going on. Ask her why shes acting this way.

Spend alot of time with her so she knows you love her and when the time is right talk to he about it.

I dont really know...have you talked to yor husband about it?

Answer 9

Maybe she doesn't like the school, it sounds like you're not too happy with it. Try putting her in an extracurricular activity once a week or something where you can be there to observe her behaviour and interction with teachers and other kids, and see if it's the environment or just her. All kids respond differently to things. My son's adorable most of the time, but when he has to do his homework or practice music he turns into a stubborn pain in .......

Answer 10

no. no one falls asleep during naps also my sister is going through that stage realy its for attention probrbly because mommy or daddy dont see her evry day and if she keeps going to school mommy and daddy will forget her.
if you stop in unexxpectedly be sure to stay hidden a little
i had a mean teacher and whenever a parent stoped by she became andgel the teacher but when there were no parents she became devil the teacher version.

Answer 11

cut our sugar caffeine processed foods and put her down for a nap shes not getting enough sleep.

sleep apnea patients dont get good sleep its broken because of the stopping breathing thing let her lay down for an hour or two when she gets home or back her bedtime to 7pm