lesbian friend of mine was really offended?

Question

a friend of mine is a lesbian. she read a comment from one of her guyfriends on facebook that said he did not bash homosexuality or anything but believes its a sin because of his religious beliefs (despite that his brother is gay) my friend got really upset about this. i worry that she might turn away from christianity, become bitter, and attack my own beliefs. i wanna talk to her. how should i go about doing this? i'm afraid of offending her as well or not explaining it properly.

plz do not take out any venting u might have on this i get enough of that as it is in this category.....

Answer 1

Is she a Christian already? If she is, just have her read her Bible everyday. God will do the convicting. This is a real touchy subject... I've lost a dear friend over it. My husband and I and some friends told our gay Christian friend what the Bible says but he got angry. My husband used to be a homosexual, so he felt led to share his life experience. It was too overwhelming for him... it should have been done more privately.
Their is a bunch of debate over whether or not the Bible actually condemns homosexuality. I think it does, but I am going to do a deep and intense study on the matter, so that I might be sure of what I believe.

If she's not a Christian, just love her and tell her about Jesus and what He's done in your life. People believe actions more than words, so live what you believe.

Answer 2

I would start by explaining that Leviticus, the original book that condemns 'Man lying down with Man as he does w/ woman' amounts to a bunch of rules, about diet, behavior and sacrifice, and since The sacrifice of Jesus for all mankind, did away w/ the sacrifices of Leviticus, that we can pretty much toss out the rest too, and since that's the same book that takes pork off the menu, unless you are of the faiths that abstain from sausage, et al, then you have no basis for homophobia either.

also since in OT times it was common for children to be married off, often in polygamous situations, as part of treaties, and trades, its a safe bet, that the affects of homosexuality on such business deals had more to do with that making the lists than does God's will. Because lets face it if a Lucy and Ruth would rather be with each other than w/ an Isaac and were allowed to do so, what good would either woman be to her respective Father as a trading tool. and if Isaac prefers a John, to Lucy or Ruth, chances are he's not making grand kids for his dad, thus ending the family tree. So by putting these rules that protect the business structure into the mouth of god, it provides credence, and backs it up w/ the threat of death.

I'm in no way saying that the use of sons or daughters as commodities is right, but it was the way of the people at the time.

Answer 3

Well, I personally don't believe it is a sin. I believe the bible is up to interpretation and that nobody's interpretation possibly be wrong, because not a single one of us was alive when Jesus was alive, so nobody really knows. The bible isn't an exact quote, the first bible wasn't written until like 60 after the death of Christ and what happened was more often than not passed down via word of mouth back then.

So... think of it this way. Do YOU think her being a lesbian is a sin? Do you think she either has to change or risk going to tell? Not judging, just asking. Cause what I mean is, if you do believe that's the case, what WOULD you tell her that would make her feel better? What could you say to her that would make not want to turn away from Christianity? I wouldn't go and try to explain to her why that dude said what he said if you do agree that it's a sin, because it will only make it worse, you know? You could tell her something like how you didn't agree with the way he went about it or that you're sure he didn't mean to hurt her feelings, that he was just telling how HE felt.

But if that's not the way you feel, if you disagree with your friend, then simply tell her that. She'll understand.

BTW... I really don't think she'll attack your beliefs. I get the feeling that's not her style. But it also sounds to me like she got so upset because SHE'S currently having doubts. I'm willing to bet she's wondering if her sexual preferences (for which I do believe people are born with, not taught) mean that God and Jesus don't love her.

Good luck to you. YOu sound like a caring friend for wanting to take on such a tough subject.

Answer 4

Well, if she got upset by that, then what's the point with, as you say, she might turn away from Christianity ?

Christianity does not exactly encourages homosexuality. Where have you lived so far if you didn't know that ?

Wherever she turns to, with some exceptions, she will find a very similar point of view. If she doesn't like it, then she has two tasks to do: get upset and then, get unupset

Answer 5

well honey, sometimes your beliefs ARE going to offend people, despite how kindly or compassionately you state them when the topics come up. That's just a given fact if you are a christian. I have gay friends, and i have also had gay friends that got mad at me because i disgreed with the lifestyle. Some were okay with my beliefs being different from theirs because they knew me, and knew i wasn't judgmental and bashing them. Most people know that about me.

BUT... here's a question: why do you feel the need to apologise OR talk to your friend about what something her friend wrote? That's his problem. If you didnt offend her, but he did, then he should be the one to explain what he meant.

I have gay friends, that i love very much and would do anything in the world for if they asked me; BUT that doesn't negate the fact that i think the lifestyle is a sin. If i am a christian, then i have to follow the whole book, not just parts of it.
I understand your sympathy for your friend, BUT at the same time you need to understand that, if she's gay, she can't be a christian, though she may attend church and all that. Sorry, i know that's going to offend some people, but.... that's just the cold hard facts; it's against the rules and to be a christian you have to obey ALL the rules, not just the ones you like. I'm not embarassed to believe what i do; but i also walk in kindness and don't treat people like poo because they are different than me. I'd say pray for your friend, and still be a good friend to her. Her choice [being a lesbian] does not make her a bad friend, or a bad individual. She deserves respect just like your non gay friends do.
Why not wait to see if she brings it up to you? It's not your job to apologise for other people; though i understand how you feel' I've heard a lot of christians be quite rude and ignorant with their beliefs showing a lack of understanding to the basics that to be a christain means to walk in love, not tell the world they are screw-ups. Most people already know that they are screw-ups. And i have done tons of apologising for other christian's lack of compassion and just plain ignorance concerning the word and so on. IF you really feel like you want to talk to her, then make sure your words are tempored with love, and respect for her as she is your friend. Best you can do also, is pray for her. If she is a lesbian, then she's already turned her back on God and has walked away from christianity. That's just a fact. But that doesn't mean you have to join in with all the homophobic gay bashers that call themselves christian. Lifestyle choice or not, God still loves your friend, as much as he loves you. You should keep that in mind when you go talk to her.
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Answer 6

Well, do you have anything else to say then what the guy wrote? If not, why bother? That would only come across as trying to change her, which indeed is quite offending. If, however, you disagree with him, you can simply say so, right? I'm sure she would appreciate that. However, your "explaining it properly" seems to suggest that you actually agree with him. Well, then you should just let her talk and try to understand why it upsets her so much. If you don't understand, I don't think there is anything you could say that could ease her mind about your beliefs.

edit: wow, that "god is love" dude is seriously creepy.

Answer 7

Tell her the truth...if you lose her, than she was never really a friend to begin with. You should never sacrifice your faith for a friendship. Addtionally, you should still be very sensative to her feelings, beliefs and need too. Explain to her that Homosexuality is wrong within the eyes of God, and therefore, you do not condone it. Tell her that you too are a sinner, and are in the same exact boat as she is. All have sinned and fallen short the glory of God. Explain to her that you love her dearly, more than she could know, and that your intention is to maintain that love and friendship. Tell her that so many Christians think that God's views on homosexuality are taken as a license to kill, and it isn't. You can always be there for her. You can always pray for her. You can always defend your faith to her. You can always listen to her and never judge her. But you cannot replace the hate she may have in her heart for Christians. She may hate God, hate Christians and the Body of Christ, but if she loves you, than she will be okay. She is your sister, whether she acknowledges it or not. Love her as Christ loves you, and she will never forget that.

Answer 8

First off, why are you so worried about your friend's spiritual beliefs? Can you not be friends with someone who has different ideas than you?

Secondly, even if she decides not to be Christian, if she is a friend, why would she attack you?

My advice would be to be supportive by leaving her alone and letting her work out her own anger in her own way. Keep your opinion to yourself unless she asks your advice. What she choses to believe or not is not your concern and if you meddle, push and interfere, she is probably more likely to direct her anger at you.

Answer 9

Why should she be offended? If the Bible says homosexuality is a sin then Christians are supposed to believe that it is a sin, as they're supposed to believe in the Bible. If she chooses not to be a Christian, she is still your friend so if she was a true friend, she would be respectful and not bash your religion.

Answer 10

Your friend has no right to get upset about someone else's beliefs. The guy didn't even say anything offensive towards HER personally. He stated his OPINION which he has every right to do. Religion is a very personal choice and this guy chooses to believe what he believes. She needs to take her little heart off her sleeve.