lonely, isolated, desperate, empty...have a longing for closeness, love, intamacy- what do i do?

Question

im 30 years old with borderline personality disorder...my lifes been hell...filled with bullying and abuse...i dropped out of highschool through bullying.
ive never ever been in a relationship....ive never ever made a single friend in life. never been employed.
i have an extreme low self esteem....im clingy...needy...and lonely.....i tend to lean heavily on people....then of course they abandon and reject me.
no one wants to be around that...and i know this.
i live alone in a one bedroom flat on welfare benifits.

but this feeling i have its like a longing for love and intimacy...to feel loved, helped supported and cherished.......to feel close to someone and have 100 percent support from them emotionally.. like an intimate close hug with a woman you love. like the love a mum would give.
i have an emptiness and loneliness in my soul that i fear will last forever.
i feel abandoned & left behind by people..
what is this feeling, & how do i get this need met? like a longing

Answer 1

The best relationship is one in which your love for each other exeeds your need for each other .
I think you are becoming to hung up on the outcome. The less you focus on the end result the quicker it will come.With one eye fixed on the destination there is only one eye left to guide you along your journey.
The quality of your thinking my friend determines the quality of your life. So lets break this down a bit ok so it doesnt sound so bad.
Dropping out of school and been bullied are unforunate circumstances in your life. We all have choices and you chose to walk the other way. This I am not faulting you for ok, this is an observation. With your BPD this is common.
Never having a realtionship and everything else here you mention is all down to low self esteem and your condition.
All of these things can be dealt with.
You hit the nail on the head yourself when you say everyone leaves you as they cant cope with your pattern of behaviour so lets set about making changes to that so you can make a fresh start here.
You need to deal with all these issues with a therapist and maybe some medication before you can move forward.
We all want to feel needed but that should not be the whole picture.
The only way to improve tomorrow is to know what went wrong today, so write a journal or take some time at the end of each day to reflect on the day and think if there was anything you could or would have done differently that maybe would have made the situation better.
Your mind is like a garden, nurture it, cultivate it, and it will blossom far beyond your expectations.
I am a great believer in the fact that to transcend pain you must first experience it, how can you really know the joy of being on the summit of a mountain unless you have first visited the lowest valley.
Remember you have choices ok, what lies behind you and what lies in front of you is nothing compared to what lies within you.

Answer 2

Okay, granted I am from Las Vegas and all but to be alone is sometimes a greater sin than anything. So my advice is this: go to a strip club if you can save a few bucks and at least one of the girls will sit and talk with you, get you used to communications with the opposite sex in a more "adult" manner. A lot of people will probably get on my case for this but I go by instinct and something tells me that the time is now for you to come into your sexual revolution and HAVE FUN!!! That doesn't mean you have to have casual sex, just get used to the notion and when the time and the person are both right, you won't be hesitant to act upon your instincts. I am sorry if this was a bit different than what you expect from me, but our histories are quite similar and I started to enjoy the company of the opposite sex on a physical level at about 34, and I am now 41. Sad that I had been dealing with sexual intimacy since I was 3 and it took me that long to begin to enjoy it, but hey! There is hope that you can at least in that respect be fully healed!

Answer 3

Couldn't care much less approximately who I reside subsequent door to so long as they don't seem to be excessively noisy or having raves 24hrs an afternoon. In a position I used to reside this was once the case. In my new apartment neighbours look quiet and tidy - and I am the equal. I might alternatively this than any individual bringing me an apple after which vomiting on my doorstep. Though a few kindly individual on my road brushed my garden and eliminated the leaves a couple of days in the past - of path if I had understand who did it I might have thanked them. Postmen and milkmen, good I might choose my letters to come back on time and now not be misplaced, alternatively than have deficient provider with a grinning postman. Society has transformed folks understand longer reside in a single the town all there lives, a couple of streets clear of their households. People transfer aroud much more in London, particularly so in say zones one million-three. There continues to be a contact extra of the surroundings you describe a few suburban locations.

Answer 4

You are French?
( " le fantôme de désert erre le désert désert chaud ")
OK, well, many of us been where you are (Maybe not as deep). Need to get out and meet some friends. Even, if, it going to a Bar or Night Club! Make some friends, but also be careful of who you associate with. In time you may meet a good woman. I not say a Bar the best place, as they may be wanting a good time for the night and move on, this not good for your situation. But, you need to develop social skills to go places and meet people and make friends. If, you looking for a woman, be cautious and use good judgment. Stay up on current events so you talk intelligibly to other people. For example; Someone talk of Zimbabwe, you know a little to talk about how you feel. Someone talk of Global Warming, you know the Theories and not just one. Hope you see what I saying. Good Luck, wish I could help more, but, we all limited as to how we help here.

Answer 5

ME TOO. i use to fell empty and lonely and even though i have no boyfriend i don't feel it anymore. you've got to understand yourself and release the hurt in healthy way. Once that happens the emptiness naturally goes away. And sometimes people are not worth the effort, there's alot of time, investment, and pain involved. And sometimes they are because the good times are real good. I'm isolated but i'm happier than having to go to an office or any work place with lot's of people. Have you read all those stuff i suggested yet?

Answer 6

Wow. Where to start. Seek some counseling for one. You need to find something you are good at (chess or something like that) and find a group where you can play that sort of thing. From there, find another hobby. Even if the hobby is making sure you walk somewhere everyday. Get familiar with people by doing the simpliest of things, say 'hi'. That is all. After a while walking on your path, if you see the same people over and over and you say hi to them often they will feel more comfortable with you to say hi and perhaps start conversations with you. From there, possible friendships start. Find that hobby and go with it.

Answer 7

i will be ur friend [e-mail]

Answer 8

try yahoo personals