There is this guy I like, we are like best friends for like the past 3 years. He always talks very sexually and perverted to me jokingly. He sits with me on the bus and hangs out with me. I just can't find a way to tell him that I like him. And at the same time, I'd be coming out, and that is like making it much worse. I don't know who to tell because all my friends would end up telling all my other friends. I really need help, what do I do? People have told me I need to come out first, but I have no idea how, or to. Well, As far as I know, he is not gay. And the way he talks perverted to me I'm fine with, I find it funny most of the time. All of our friends joke around that we are going out but I fake a smile & laugh. And I trust almost all my friends too, just not with big secrets because thy always end up getting around pretty quick. I really don't want to ruin the relationship I have with my friend or it will be awkward. I really need some help with this, it is tearing me up inside
2007-11-02 11:03:13 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The problem I can't come out to the public is that there are so many gay bashers at my school and in the world, because everyone in so judgmental.
2007-11-02 11:10:01 · update #1
I'll try the cousin thing, that will help a lot, thx.
2007-11-02 13:25:32 · update #2
I'll try the cousin thing, that will help a lot, thx.
2007-11-02 13:25:33 · update #3
Same problem with me. I wish i had the guts to tell my friend too, but I don't want to risk losing a friend. My advice is to beat around the bush a bit...how does he feel about gay guys? Maybe tell him your "cousin" just came out and how hard that was for him and see if he's supportive or a homophobe. I think a lot of closeted guys are homophobes though so that doesn't mean anything really. But if he's supportive, then you can tell him the truth and he probably won't freak out.
2007-11-02 11:19:59 · answer #1 · answered by Stache Man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, rock and hard place situation. Maybe, rather than risk losing such a valuble friend, you could look for a local support group. There, you can out yourself without the risk of hostile feedback. Build up your confidence, and maybe bestow your valuble feelings upon someone who you know shares the same values as yourself. As well, if you're still young enough to be riding the bus, maybe you could consider telling a close adult, like your parents or a trusted aunt or uncle, so you won't be alone in your quest. I hope this helps, and good luck!
2007-11-02 18:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by Jess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're gay and he isn't, then that's it. Move on. Homosexuality is not like a religion where you can convert someone, if you're gay you need to find another gay man to have a relationship with.
Although judging from your tone, you're probably not even in High School yet which means you don't know your *** from a hole in the ground. If you're not done with puberty, you have no business calling yourself straight or gay because you have no clue.
2007-11-02 18:08:55 · answer #3 · answered by Takfam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By not coming out it will tear you up inside for a much longer time than not telling your friend that you like him.
I think you should do both.
And it would be much easier if you did them at the same time.
It would be really hard but you'll feel better afterwards.
2007-11-02 18:09:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your crush is gay. I think most people alrady know ur gay. Is there a large gay community in which you live to get support from? How old are you? I'd use discretion until you could defend yourself physically.
2007-11-02 18:09:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
aww poor babyy.!
listen tho. firstt i think you should come out & if some people dont like you becuase your gay then they really werent your good friends to start with. and second u dont kno if your friend is gay so i dont think you should tell him just yet until you kno for a fact that he is gay because then he might just act all wierd towards you and stuff you kno.
good luck hun ;]
2007-11-02 18:08:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Aw sweetheart,you have to come out first.
Does your friend know you are gay?
If not, tell him first,you can see how he reacts and take it from there.
He may fell exactly the same way you do and may also fear the repercussions.
Good luck and take care xx I hope it works out for you xx
2007-11-02 18:16:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I acted same way around a girl and i liked her and she liked me but the prob was niether of us had courage to tell other cause we didnt think the other liked us :O just tell him :D
2007-11-02 18:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
just tell him, and get it over with, you will feel so much better after you tell him
2007-11-02 18:06:49 · answer #9 · answered by monkey13 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Prayy and ask the LORD to deliver you from those feelings.
2007-11-02 18:07:48 · answer #10 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋