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I had a friend I was close with for a long time. We have been growing apart because he has changed a lot (in a negative way). When he was losing all of his friends, I stayed by his side.

But I got sick of the way he was acting as well, and I stopped being his friend. He apoligized, and I became his friend again. But then he started acting like a jerk towards me again, so I stop hanging out with him. This happened about 8 times.

I don't do this with ANY of my other friends!

I noticed that he didn't mean his apologies, and just said them to look like the good person in the situation. So I just told him that we could try to get along, but I didn't want to be friends with him again. We could just be like associates.

Was I right to do this? I think I gave him enough chances. And I know him well enough to realize that he didn't mean it when he said sorry. I don't feel guilty or anything, so I don't think I was wrong.

Some of the things he use to do to me were:

He use to talk bad about me behind my back, he would try to embarrass me in front of other people to act 'tough' or 'bad'.

He would make fun of me, the way I dressed, how much money my parents made(because he is from a family that is well-off), who I hung out with, and how I looked.

And he treated his girlfriend (who is my best friend) really bad. He did all of these things to her, and it made her really sad, but she let him do it.

And what REALLY made me SOOOO angry with him was what he said the other day. On Halloween, my friend passed away in an accident. Nov. 1st was my friend's (not the one that died) birthday, and he said,"Thanks to him dying, nobody will remember that it is my birthday!!"


What do you think?

2007-11-02 10:55:31 · 14 answers · asked by . 4 in Society & Culture Religion & Spirituality

14 answers

You did the right thing. Have you talked to his parents?

2007-11-02 11:01:48 · answer #1 · answered by Buffy 4 · 0 0

You did the right thing. There is only so much a person can take and forgive. There comes a point where apologies don't mean anything anymore. You have to decide whats good and bad for u in ur life and weed out the bad. U cant be friends with everyone. Friends will come and go. Things happens.

2007-11-02 18:01:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

There is a saying that you can pick your friends but not your family. So yes you did the right thing. You need to "pick" good friends.

People like him seem to get enjoyment by putting others down because they think it makes them better. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says; "Do not be misled, Bad associations spoil useful habits." If you would continue, you'd be misleading yourself into thinking you could help him. Whereas you would just bring yourself down to his level.

Someone in another answered how we need to forgive. That's true. But, we don't need to be someone's doormat in the process. You may want to mention that to your best friend. She shouldn't be a doormat either.

2007-11-02 18:27:05 · answer #3 · answered by hugs2u 2 · 0 0

Maybe you would want to spend a little more time being a good friend to his girlfriend that you said was your best friend. Seems to me that she is the one that needs help to break away from this guy. He needs to grow up and both of you girls need to move on to a better crowd.

2007-11-02 18:16:12 · answer #4 · answered by bailingwirewillfixit 3 · 0 0

I think you did the right thing. No one needs that kind of negativity around them all the time. I feel sorry for your friend. It sounds like he could do with some type of counseling.

Good Luck!

2007-11-02 18:08:54 · answer #5 · answered by Willow 4 · 0 0

You can forgive him for the way he has treated you and your friends but you don't need to continue being his friend. When you make boundaries (such as "I will not allow you to treat me in these ways", stick to them or you are only reinforcing his inappropriate behavior. He has a problem that you cannot fix.) It sounds as though he is enjoying the control he has over you. I was in relationship with a guy, when I was in college, who did this. I finally ended it for good.

2007-11-02 18:08:47 · answer #6 · answered by Suen 4 · 0 0

I Think you are right to dump him .That doesn't sound like he's a friend to anyone not a real one. If he was a real friend to you he would never make fun of you or put your family down. I think you deserve a better friend and I'm sure you will find lots more if you ditch him and pray for him to change, Sounds like he has major issues.

2007-11-02 18:07:00 · answer #7 · answered by Janna 4 · 0 0

No, you were not wrong to distance yourself from him. You gave him plenty of chances and explained to him the things he was doing that were hurtful and inappropriate.
We are supposed to forgive people that hurt us, but that doesn't mean we have to be a doormat and allow them to keep taking advantage of us.
Don't be mean to him; treat him with respect, but keep whatever boundaries and distance you need to so that he won't negatively influence you to misbehave, so he can't hurt you further, and so your reputation won't be attached to his.

It is possible (not likely, but possible) that your actions will be a wake up call and he will see what he needs to do to be a better friend. When people allow others to keep getting away with bad behavior it is called enabling and it's not healthy.

2007-11-02 18:05:56 · answer #8 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 0 0

You do not need a friend like this. The Bible says that bad company corrupts good character. In other words, if you hang around with him, after a while you'll be as bad as him. Cut the friendship.

2007-11-02 18:05:06 · answer #9 · answered by Cee T 6 · 0 0

You choose your friend, and it is up to you to decide if their friendship is good for you. You are not responsible for other peoples lives, they are. You should try to do good things for this world and others, but you need to choose worthwhile investments of your time. Wasting your time with people who don't listen or try, is not doing yourself or the world any good.

2007-11-02 18:04:46 · answer #10 · answered by astrogoodwin 7 · 0 0

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