Mormons/LDS: Observations on reasons people leave the LDS church...?

Question

I have noticed that former Mormons are often told that they have left the Church for the "wrong reasons". A quick summation of those reasons might be:

*the actions of one individual
*wanting to be "free" to break the rules
*thinking that it's "too hard" and getting tired of it

My question is:

What are the "right reasons" for leaving a church?
(this could apply to the LDS Church or another church)

Answer 1

From what I have seen, it is never one thing that happens in which someone decides to leave the church, but a process of events over time. I have had my doubts at times, but even at my worst moments in life I have held on to my faith. And because of that and situations that have humbled me, I have seen the witness of my faith. I guess some people would say it has paid off. I also learned along the way that some magnificent event wasn't going to make me happy. I could be and should be happy along the way. And have become so. I may have went one way while others went another. I believe the parable of separating the wheat from the tares is going on now. But I am also a firm believer that one needs to do what makes one happy. And if this church isn't doing it so be it. We all have to find out what brings happiness for ourselves.

Answer 2

The worst reason to leave the church would be that you were "tired of it"or "tired of living the way you were taught", those reasons would only be second to "someone offended you". I have though hard about this and I think a good reason would be that you find something better and leave, without hate or malice, a group of people that for the most part believe just what you did only a short time before. This kind of decision is very important and you wouldn't want to be hasty. I can also see moving far enough away from what the church teaches that it would not be a good fit anymore. I think a lot of prayer would be involved.
BTW 7 of 9, my daughter had a beautiful, wonderful, spiritual patriarchal blessing that she(and I) will treasure forever, it is one of the too few spiritual experiences in my life that I hold dear to me and I'm sorry yours was not that way.

Answer 3

I left when I found out Joseph Smith married two 14-year old girls as well as other men's wives (these men were still living). We have a word for men in our society that go after 14 year old girls. Contrary to what everyone has said up above, I was faithfully attending all my meetings at church, because I WANTED to, not because I felt an obligation. I had gone through the temple, even though I had never been married nor gone on a mission. I carried out all my callings faithfully and happily. I really loved every aspect of being a member. I went from being 100% believer to 0% believer in about 5 seconds, and it wasn't from anti-mormon literature, i was because of what I found out from the LDS-sponsored genealogical website.

Liesel.

Answer 4

Stay at the same church as long as the doctrine stays biblical. Don't worry if you aren't chosen all or even most of the time for special stuff. Remember the parable of the workers. Also, don't forget all the biblical characters who stayed in the same place doing God's will even when the people mistreated them, like Daniel, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Paul, and Jesus Himself. As far as not adding the new beats or singing louder, don't worry about what the other people will think if God has called you to do it (otherwise, maybe your pastor meant some other talent or using your music to minister in a new way). By the others "bringing revival," may your pastor meant it as in through them, God had laid on his heart to do something new (like how God chose Paul as the first missionary to the gentiles instead of Peter or John; or how Jesus chose "sinners" instead of Pharisees (like Nicodemus or Joseph of Arimathea; I don't mean like Caiphas) to be his disciples).

Answer 5

Most people I know who have left the church have basically done so due to apathy. They got bored of going each week, and of the obligations and expectations. I generally think these people never really had a testimony. Often they grew up in the church so didn't know how much worse the "outside world" was.

Others leave because they have committed a major sin - generally law of chastity related - and feel they are not good enough to come to church, or cannot repent. They are wrong in this, but it's understandable that they feel bad.

Others leave because someone offends them. I nearly did a couple of times because I was upset by something someone said or did.

I have never known anyone leave the church because of objections to its teachings. The ex-mormons I've encountered on here or elsewhere seem not to have a true understanding of its teachings anyway. I wonder if there are those who just don't "get it" and think that the gospel is all about living according to laws and regulations. It isn't. It's about having a personal relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

I don't think there can be a right reason to leave the church. I certainly can't think of one.

Answer 6

I don't think there is a "right" reason for leaving any church. If you make a commitment to become a member of any particular church, I would think you would want to check it first, thoroughly, and then make a commitment.
There are too many people in the world that see things as as "throw away" and get too bored too fast. That could be a reason for so many divorces, do many people quiting career jobs. We are too spoiled in the world. We should learn to stick out the challenging times as well as the easy. Challenges build character.

Answer 7

Well someone offended me, so even though I really do have a testimony, I decided to leave.

No, wait...

I honestly think whatever reasons we give will be viewed as wrong. If it's docotrine, well then someone just misrepresented the truth, the people saying this or that are, after all, humans. Then there's the someone offended us cop out, or we just couldn't hack the lifestyle. Like we couldn't think for ourselves enough to come up with valid reasons.

Honestly, for the most part, I could give a rats *** about the doctorine. Beyond what you learned on the surface, it's boring. Learnining any more about it is akin to grating ones brain on a cheese grater. And yes, that rigid lifesytle would make me insane. There is also no way I could sit through another conference pretending that the crap coming out of the speakers mouth is holy, uplifting and spritual.

When it comes down to it though, it doesn't matter what reason we give for leaving. We were wrong to leave the "one true church" so whatever reasons we have will be flawed. But I gotta say, the beer I'm drinking now tastes damn good.

Answer 8

The only right reason I could ever see to leave one body of believers and go to another is if the first body was teaching and living outside of Gods word.

Basically believeing mans word over the word of God.

ANother reason which would fall into that same catogory is the teaching of Gods word right from the bible, but living according to the worlds teachings.

Now, there is only one way to know for sure if a church is teaching and preaching Gods word, is to know it already. That involves reading and studying Gods word on your own, not just on Sunday morning or at Christmas and Easter.

Answer 9

Either they have figured out that what the church teaches isn't right for them, or they aren't ready for that religion, spiritually speaking. If they aren't ready for the truths a religion holds, no matter what they try, they won't believe, think it's false, and drop the religion. It's easier then trying to stay somewhere that doesn't fit them.

Answer 10

The only thing I could think of is if there is no other way whatsoever of meeting your future wife or husband, then it would be a good idea to visit other churches and expand's one circle of friends. But even then, it doesn't mean you would automatically leave a church behind 100%.