I made over $2500 last month for my kids Christmas selling antique and other stuff, then my wife son who is a juvenile was lock up and she needs $2500 for a lawyer to get him home until he go to the next court date. Now I dont know if he committed the crime or not but should I give her my kids Christmas money to help her get a lawyer or should I tell her I just dont have it?
2007-11-02 10:38:27 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You made 2500 and your wife needs 2500 hon..Well put it this way, she is your wife and he is your stepson..First has he ever been lock up before, if so then keep your money and if not then give her some of it and let the rest of her family on her side help also. Why should you have to put up the whole thing. How about asking family members on his side of the family that will make up the money, then all you have to do is hustle the rest for your kids Christmas and everybody will be happy...
2007-11-02 10:54:56 · answer #1 · answered by bert bert 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lie.
Don't tell her that you don't have the money.
She'll have a FIT (if you don't give $), but she'll get over it.
Her son did something or was associated somehow or he'd NOT be behind bars. Sometimes, that is what it takes to get someone's attention - have them spend a few days looking hard at themselves.
You saved that money for one purpose in mind...and it wasn't for some fun toy, a vacation, a tummy tuck, or to blow at Vegas. It's for your children so that they have a good Christmas. Maybe all $2500 isn't needed, but it's what you have and what you earned.
If you feel compelled, then "loan" a portion of the money you saved up, but have it on a PROMISSORY NOTE from "Junior" that the money was NOT GIVEN to him, but by Your Grace, it was LOANED to him with a due date and amount back expected. Make sure you have a firm date to begin payments, and when the last payment is expected. Cash will require you to give him a receipt, but money orders / cashiers checks are ok, too. Do NOT charge more than 10% interest if you intend to charge (over 10% is illegal for an individual to charge - called Usury Tax). Have the document signed by you and him and notarized (to further legalize it). I don't know if you want to draw his mom into it; I would say it be between thee and he. See if he can pass you some "collateral" something of value to hold until he pays you back in full (preferably more valuable than the loan).
That's it. Hard Love. It has to start somewhere. Original Daddy seems out of the picture, so this kid needs some firm parenting in order to turn out as a decent law-abiding adult. He'll hate you now, but once he matures & grows up, hopefully he will see what you did in a different light and appreciate the maturity you tried to impress upon him.
Good luck.
110207 4:50
2007-11-02 17:49:35 · answer #2 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It may cause problems when you say no (mostly because she really wants you to say yes) but I would not give up your kids' Christmas money for this problem. I used to work in a mental hospital and when people are there, there is usually a good reason. I know juvey isn't exactly the same thing, but if a lawyer is needed then she should be able to get one for free through the organization. And if he didn't do anything to deserve being there, then he shouldn't have to pay to get out.
2007-11-02 17:43:31 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
split the cost. Explain to your wife that you saved the money for ALL of the kids. Allow her to have $1000 for you stepson and ask that she/he/her extended family members help supplement the rest of the funds. If you are able to get some extra money, by all means help and if not . . you did the best you could but you are still positioned to make sure the other children will have a happy Christmas. Maybe you can also help her find a public defender.
2007-11-02 19:11:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you know what ... blood is thicker than water .. in other words your wife will do what she can to help her son .. do you get along with him ?
As some have already suggested there are public deffenders who are paid out of a goverment fund that would be the best thing to look into . but having said that.. I think if you don't give the money you will have to prepare yourself for many other problems from both your wife and the step son .. Christmas is still a month away and maybe it might not be as good as with that extra money you will have a complete family and after all isn't that what chirstmas is all about..
Again if this step son does not live with you or you have had problems with him in the past it would be a good lesson for him to learn to stew in the crow bar hotel for a while .. they don't ussually through someone in jail for no reason...
I think you have to decide whats best here ... best for all of you not just one person ..
2007-11-02 18:12:25 · answer #5 · answered by myopinionforwhatitsworth 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kinda need more detail to answer appropriately. Is this his first offense? And how old is he?? It might be a good opportunity for you to show him you care, and take the time to really check out what's going on in his life..........but make sure he knows you're not always gonna provide the "get out of jail free card." Let him know this is the only time you'll bail him out......but that you did because you really care about him. He might really be craving some TLC, which is maybe why he's making poor decisions that landed him in jail.
You still have time to save money for Christmas..and if he shows up for court, don't you get your money back?
You have to be careful though, some kids just don't get it..........and they become career offenders......always relying on their parents to bail them out.
That's a hard call............but (depending on the alleged crime) I'd probably give him a one time only bail out..............followed by some serious soul searching and life-planning discussions.
2007-11-02 17:47:45 · answer #6 · answered by fiofunk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The lawyer should be free until the case is finished and if you are low income, then the state should provide a public defender at no or reduced cost to you. She may want the money to post bail but if the kid takes off and no shows then you are out the cash. Let him stew until trial date. It may make him think twice about what he does and who he associates with.
2007-11-02 17:49:28 · answer #7 · answered by St N 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, keep that $2500 for Christmas. Your kids are more important then your stepson that committed a crime. Teach him a lesson by leaving him there.
2007-11-02 17:41:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is from personal experience. My step son decided to become a 2 time felon 2 weeks after his 18th birthday. My husband got him out, paid 5k for the lawyer. Step son still has huge issues and we are struggling with the finances.
I would have left him in, I guess this would be tough love, but I believe in it! My own son's know if they are jailed.......they can call me and talk, pray, but to let them out??? No way. This money was made for the family enjoyment, getting the child out serves no purpose but to empty the account.
2007-11-02 18:23:41 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, weather or not he did the crime he needs to learn a lesson here. This may be just the thing to straighten his @ss out. It could also benefit him as time served. Explain to her how you feel about the situation. Let her know you will not be using Christmas money to get him out of trouble.
2007-11-02 17:43:45 · answer #10 · answered by diablo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋