Am I asking too much out of men when choosing a guy to date?

Question

I'm a single Hispanic female (mother of one).
I have a good job, I am buying a house, I have a nice car, I'm funny & cool.. well I think I'm a good person. I have NO drama in my life...
So I have no idea why I meet all these guys that are losers!
They have a million kids/baby momma's, they live w/their parents/family, they're bouncing around on jobs, they think they're 21 when they're really 31+...
The list goes on but I'm depressing myself (jk) just thinking about it.

I mean WHERE can you meet a good guy these days, besides online cause not even online is working for me!

Sorry, I'm 28 yrs old.
I did the bar/club scene and that's where i met my X husband.. hehe.. lets try something new this time around.

The losers I'm talking about are all online.

To begin with .. I just want a man who

Who can provide for himself, put a roof over his own little head and his children if he has any..
Can hold a job down (lol most cant!)
Has a car (I mean come on he's 28+ so this can't be asking too much)
Doesn't think he's 21, ie acts his age.

Um... I guess I just gotta keep doing what I'm doing which is taking care of myself and my daughter and live life.. he'll pop in sometime.. I'm in no rush.. I just tsarted dating again, so um yeah, no worries--acuna-ma-ta-ta! lol

T E X A S!!

I'm a 28 y/o mother.
Once youre a parent you change your ways some.. you're not partying all night long with da girls,.. you don't have many drunken nights where you wake up and don't remember yesterday.. LOL
These guys are like 21 y/o men with kids!
I don't appreciate that.
I go to work, come home w/my daughter. ..
On dads weekend I go out and have a good time with friends, we go to nice clubs 25+ where we have actual clothes on (not hoochie mama clothing) and the music is blarring in areas & other areas where you can just relax, chill, and have a good conversation..
But seriously, even these men live with mama.. I mean come on!!!!
If this single mother can pull a mortgage .. why can't these men do it when they aren't full time parents to their children anyways!!
Okay I'm sounding bitter.. I better stop..hehe..
I'm going for a drink! Later everyone!
Yal have a good weekend!
Wish me luck! *smiles*

Answer 1

I agree, it's hard to meet people outside the circle you're already surrounded by, and sometimes that circle doesn't have very good options! Have you thought about picking a hobby, maybe something you can involve your kids in, and becoming involved in that? That way you can meet other people with like interests who may either be or can introduce you to attractive, well-balanced, single men...

Answer 2

Whatever you do, do not depress over others shortcomings. Feel and focus on your blessings. You can try my recipe. I prayed that The Lord allow only good men to come into my life. I too seemed object of Loser's attraction. Without warning I met my mate 50 odd years ago at HIS own house,because I had earlier befriended his sister. He cleans,cooks, brings food,coffee to me,etc and refuses to let me take the garbage out. And he wasn't even interested in "girls" as he had to work 40 hours a week to support full time college and still made A's,B's and had NO other financial help. Prayer works.
Perhaps the Lord does not want a man over your kids just yet. Be patient,the more you love yourself-the more attractive you will be to the right GOOD guys when it's the right time. Meanwhile, Enjoy your child. No man is ever gonna equal this Love you already got to give and receive. And any you find is gonna be jealous of the child,anyway and become a headache you don't need.
If I had what you described a Man would be Last creature I'd think about. I would be too busy counting my blessings.

Answer 3

plz: JETTISON THE STRESS!!. u are 1 of millions of women( single moms at that) goining through a similar situation. most importantly is keeping ur composure, especially around and 4 ur child. u obviously have a purpose or goal 4 ur self and ur working 2ward it. u have every right 2 want 2 find a guy that can push or help u 4wrd , even if ur not exectly on the same page. stick 2 ur no drama policy, but don't b afraid to try new things, as long as ur not breaking the law, or lowering ur standards. compramise instead. u can find love in the most unlikely places.since u have a nice personality, why not try going out. if u already r, change up ur venue. don't allow urself 2 become 2 predictable. join a book club, take a walk with your kid or pet, hell, strike up a conversation in the grocery line or at the bank. wear colours that say: i'm approachable if ur not a freak< pink , blue, devilish reds, homey browns, neutrals.be girly and feel good about urself. exude womanly confidence. u may not know when u'll catch that some1's eye, or if ur not already being profiled. go ahead and give them somethin 2 look at. don't fret, he'll come running 2 u any day now.

Answer 4

I'd say that's having standards, not being too picky. It might be nice to have a little more definition of some of the problems though.

Examples: what does thinking they're 21 mean? And are any of the guys living with their family actually taking care of them?

Still, I understand where you're coming from. It shouldn't be hard to find someone with basic things like a job, a place to live, a car, and a decent personality. If it's any consolation guys have a hard time finding a decent girl too, without insisting that she be a gorgeous contortionist.

Answer 5

Go to churches in your area and find one that has a single parents group (parents without partners), and join up. You'll meet respectible guys, who may have kids, but hey, you have one too. And it's not a bar setting. And sometimes the more expectations you have the more depressing it can be- so it you "let go" of the self-induced pushing, you're more likely to find someone. Life just seems to work that way sometimes.

Answer 6

I don't know?
I am a hard working guy that owns his own home,pays his bills,has his own car and has a hard time finding women that wants that.My nieghbors are low life scum.They don't want to work,don't have a car,don't have jobs,they want to lay around all day watching tv,and they steal from other nieghbors.And they always have girlfriends..
I also know about 5 girls that like it when thier men don't work.What is up with that.I guess that they can't be trusted.I do not know?
Where are you located?I am free and have a job.

Answer 7

It is hard to find a good man today just as it is for men to find a good woman. I am one of few males in my generation as far as my extended family is concerned and many of my female cousins are in relationships they are unhappy with. I don't meddle but will step in if any of them are being assaulted.

I can tell which of my friends are good to be with or not. The Momma's Boy in them can't be hidden from me. So I can agree that there are a lot of losers out there.

Answer 8

I don't think you're asking too much, but I think you might be looking through the wrong eyes.

You can meet different men through work, or through hobbies or at events or by living nearby.

I suggest you try getting to know men as people first, rather than potential boyfriends. (Het men: this goes the other way too.). Getting to know as many people as you can, even if only as acquaintances, will widen your pool of potential friends (surely a good thing) and increase your chances of 'true love(TM)'.

In my experience, relationships are better if they grow out of friendship, because then you're both treating each other as people rather than things to get sex or romance from.

Answer 9

When I met my fiance, he was 26, with no job, and living with his parents. I told him when he met me that I didn't date guys that did things like this, that I preferred adults.. and you know what? He got a job, moved out, and now is the most responsible guy I know. When you meet someone who thinks you are worth changing for, then you'll know you've met the right guy. Just hold out for him, he's out there.

Answer 10

Church in a volunteer capacity, with no obvious interest in dating anyone. You never find if you are looking. You sure must hang out in bars or something to meet so many losers.