I was Mormon my whole life, but just recently decided to officially leave the Mormon church. I sent a letter requesting my name be removed from the records. I stated in the letter that the only contact I wanted from the church was a letter stating it had been done. They then sent me a letter stating my "local leaders" had to handle it. And yesterday the bishop showed up at my house unannounced, and uninvited. I refused to talk to him, so my wife (who is still active) told him I wouldn't talk to him. He harrassed her for a second, and then demanded my temple recommend. After he left I called the police and had them issue him a tresspass warning basically stating that if he came back to my house to contact me, he would be arrested for tresspassing. He is however, allowed to come by to visit my wife if she wishes, but he must call first. Did I go too far in getting the law involved?
2007-11-02 09:35:49 · 52 answers · asked by friendlyexmo 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Simply, No.
If you asked not to be contacted he should have respected that.
He made his choice to come out against your wishes so having a trespass warning issued is one way of emphatically showing him you meant business.
I do not see anything wrong with the fact that he has to call first to see your wife, or she has to invite him over. I think that is just common courtesy anyway.
2007-11-02 09:49:47 · answer #1 · answered by Seafyre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I would have done (also having been a member my whole life) would be to have signed another copy of the letter, and had my wife hand it to the bishop while he was there, requesting specifically that he not come back to contact you in any way except a phone call or letter to inform you the action had been done.
If he came back AGAIN unannounced, I would have considered a trespass order.
2007-11-02 10:04:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is the fact your wife still with the church going to make your separation more difficult.? You do not say what suddenly made you decide to leave , if it was a massive disagreement with certain members , then you probably are justified in involving the law ,for what maybe your own protection , if you left for more simple reasons than one might think you were a bit heavy handed , if this was the case Id eat the humble pie ,if just for your wife's sake and maybe for the sake of your marriage.
2007-11-02 09:46:47 · answer #3 · answered by Max Power says relax 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you went too far. I also don't think some people understand exactly how hard it is to do what you have just done. The Mormon church has a lot of positive things about it but it also has a lot peer pressure and guilt.
I am not Mormon but my boyfriend (we are unmarried and have a child) is and he gets a lot of flack for not going to church. His entire family has pressured us to get married and bless the baby. It wasn't as bad in San Diego but when we first moved to Salt Lake City I had to put my foot down. I hate being rude but sometimes they don't hear anything but rude. One time I had to scream like I was being attacked to get a missionary to get out of the way of my car door so I could leave. Though most aren't like this, the few who are need to know you wont' put up with it.
I only recommend that next time (hopefully there won't be) you handle it yourself instead of putting your wife in the middle. I am sure she will get a hard enough time at Church. Good for you for sticking up for yourself.
2007-11-02 09:45:43 · answer #4 · answered by alana 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did what you thought was right at the moment. You shouldnt have to hide in your own house because an uninvited person is there trying to talk to you when you dont want to converse with him. some people need a strong consequence to respect the wishes of others. You made a decision so stick by it.
2007-11-02 09:41:08 · answer #5 · answered by canam 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you're really worried about repeat offenses of this type, call the police when they happen, in front of whoever is doing it, to let them know you're serious. Why does it have to be official? If you go join another religion or just plain stop going to your ex-church, doesn't that take care of it?
2007-11-02 09:44:12 · answer #6 · answered by bagalagalaga 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. It was just a warning, and you now have it on record that you asked him not to return uninvited again. If he comes back and harasses you, you can now PROVE this was a problem in the past.
French Fry?
2007-11-02 09:42:08 · answer #7 · answered by Katie Couric's 15 Minutes... 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why do you hate the church? You didn't have to leave the church, having a church temple recommend and then saying you're leaving the church for good? Well it's your life, getting the police makes you seem like a troublemaker.
2007-11-02 14:18:40 · answer #8 · answered by Brother G 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't think so. I'm not a mormon though and I know they live by totally different rules and laws of the church. Too bad you and your wife aren't on the same page about it.....I don't like ANY unexpected visitors.....it's just polite to call first.
2007-11-02 09:39:58 · answer #9 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
you did a brave thing. No you did not go to far, an uninvited guest is just that. I'm sure you have your reasons and the law is there to protect you, he would have come back if you hadn't I would be pretty sure of that.
2007-11-02 09:44:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋