my boyfriend what do i do?

Question

He is 19 and all of a sudden started talking to this lil 14 year old girl and called her baby, and hung out with her and played baseball and that and talks to her for hours on the phone. So I broke up with him i am not taking that..But I am 8 weeks pregnant with his baby and I want him to be there and i want to be with him..And I just don't know what to say to get through to him and I don't know what i should do about the girl thing..Cuz there is going to be a whole trust issue thing there.

I am 17 and he knows I am pregnant and i'm no tfaking it i really am!!

Answer 1

In the first place, he is FAMILY with you.
In the second place, he is asking to be charged with Statutory Rape by hanging around with a juvenile child (14 yr old). That definitely needs to stop.

Start by leveling with your folks. Even if you don't have the best of relations with them, it is their GRANDBABY's fate that needs to be addressed. Get beyond the premaritial sex thing and on to the NEW LIFE you are experiencing and bringing into the World! Hurray!
Your family needs to stand by you and be your moral and financial support while you get this baby born and set up in his/her new life. They need to be by your side when you approach this old bf and His Family so that they are aware of their family's growth! And of their son's responsibility. AND of their son's infatuation with an underage child. Is he heading toward getting the child preggy also? That would really mess things up!
Counseling is in order. Legalities need to be in order. Responsibilites need to be in order. Or there needs to be a Court Order to get this guys attention to step up to the plate. Bring in your pastor or priest, or social worker to help you understand what to do properly and in the legal limits (if you're needing to press any issues). Are YOU underage (meaning 17 or younger)? Then it can be claimed statutory against him too, although you are adult enough to not go that route, he needs to understand that there ARE consequences to his bad behavior.

So, DON'T punish your child. Please give your baby the most loving, stable environment as possible. If the bf doesn't come around, then you get CHILD SUPPORT either thru him, or if he cowards, thru his PARENTS. Someone needs to help you so that you can finish school and get financially on your feet if he is not there to support you as a husband and father to your unborn child.

Don't let him hollar that he's only a kid and has his whole life ahead of him and he doesn't want to be "tied down". I know tons of guys and gals who as young as 14 yrs old were able to step up to the plate and not only survive, but lead successful lives with kids not much younger than they. But it took family support and other help to assist. Can't do this entirely on your own.

For your baby's sake do something soon. This bf is treading on shakey ground - both with fatherhood and this 14 yr old kid he's playing with. Bad combo, him and the little girl!!!

110207 3:30

Answer 2

I am pretty sure that you have heard this before, but boys really do mature slower than girls. This is why your 19 year old boyfriend is seeing some 14 year old girl. I am not trying to slam the boy, but that is probably where his mentality level is at.
At some point in the future, he may be mature enough to be in you and your child's life, but right now, I wouldn't count on it. I definitely would tell him about the pregnancy if you haven't already.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. When I was 18, I got pregnant with my boyfriend's child. He was 3 years older than me. He said that he would be there but 3 months after our daughter was born, he left me for his ex-girlfriend and got her knocked up. Believe me, I really do know what you are going through. I just really hope you have a strong support system in place because you are going to need it. Good luck!!

Answer 3

If he's 19 and she's only 14, you just need to give it a little time. He'll get busted for criminal sexual conduct and get to spend time in jail. Seriously though, there's nothing you can do to make someone stay with you. They have to stay because they love you and want to be with you. I think the best thing to do (and believe me... I've been down the road you're travelling) is to ignore him. Don't talk to him, don't see him, don't call him. If he really loves you, this will drive him crazy and he'll be coming back around. You need to make it very clear to him that you don't like his behavior and you aren't going to put up with it. If he LOVES you, he'll step in line. If he doesn't, he'll be gone. If you don't take care of this, you're going to be on Yahoo Answers in 5 years saying, "I've got three kids with this guy and he's flirting with a 14 year old." Trust me... I know what I'm talking about.

Answer 4

Wait till they have sex, then call the cops! You don't need a dead beat dad hanging around to teach your child how to be a dead beat. Also they are nothing but disappointment. Sounds like he is playing with fire, so I would burn him! That 14 year old is only good for him for one reason...and you know what that reason is!

He is obviously NOT into the whole "father" role...and he WON'T be until HE is ready...you CAN'T wake him up. The sooner you stop concentrating on him and start concentrating on your prescious little baby, the better off you will be!

Plus, if you don't nip that junk in the bud now...she'll end up preggers too! And ya'll will be having a joint baby shower!

Answer 5

Well to be quite frank it doesn't sound this guy is very mature. First off, your pregnant so he should be by your side. Second off what is he thinking hanging out with a 14 year old girl? You didn't mention how old you are. Not 14 I hope. I'm 40 years old and have learned from my experiences and this guy sounds like bad news. Do you have support from your parents and/or friends? Lean on them and let this guy hang himself with 14 year old girls OR make a change for the better and be a father. Either way, you can't change him. He has to change himself.
Good Luck Sweetheart.

Answer 6

Sure, you're in a real rough patch.
Did both of you want this baby, or was it an accident? Is it possible that he cares nothing for that fourteen year old, but used her to alienate you?

Anyway, the issue here is 'trust', you bet: even if he did not want the baby, he should have stuck with you once it was conceived, whether to bring it up or to abort it. Incidentally, how old are you? If you are also a teenager it is too early for marriage and child rearing, don't you think?

Answer 7

First of all, he shouldn't be dealing with a 14y/o in the first place. He's gonna wind up getting arrested for statutory rape. Secondly, if you're pregnant, you should tell him and then take it from there. Maybe try to work something out even if it's only for the child's sake. There may be nothing you can say to get through to him but it's better to speak how you feel than to keep wondering. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Word to the wise (what ever that means) being or faking being pregnant will only push him away from you. That is only to dispel all the misconceptions and all of the planned entrapments. If you want to keep him, learn how to cook and watch his total attention come into play. (not just boiling a egg either, I mean the recipes handed down from your great great grandmother!) why do you think your grandparents relationships lasted so long and todays avrg relationship dont? ( you can burn the bras, but get upset if you end up alone with a house full of catz! (game to the 3rd power!)

Answer 9

Sorry to say, it sounds like he got what he wanted and now he's moving on. If he got you pregnant and then involved with a 14-year-old he obviously doesn't care enough about you to share the responsibility of taking care of you, much less helping you raise your child. Perhaps you should consult an attorney regarding child support.

Answer 10

This seems a serious question and deserves the best answer, which in my opinion would be "seek out professional help here, not on line advise". Talk to your Dr for one. Am sure this is stressing you out and he certainly would like to know as stress relates to your health and that of your baby you are carrying.
Good Luck..