My boyfriend of 9 months wants to have sex! I respect, love and care for him but im just not ready for sex. I have always wanted to stay a virgin until I’m married and he knows that. Im just stuck on what to say without losing him. We just keep going round in circles, he says the cliché line “if you love me you would” and I say “if you love me you wouldn’t” please if anyone has any advice on how to say no but still show that I love him and want to be with him. we are both adults but i believe that even if you 18 or 80 you have a right to stay virgin until your ready!
2007-11-02 07:58:12 · 4 answers · asked by Confuseddotcom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well... I think that he is just like most guys, all he wants is that. That is very disrespectful for him to manipulate and play that "if you love me, you will" game.. that is so childish and immature of him. If he is immature to be playing stupid games like that still, he is definately not mature enough to do something like have sex already. You just need to lay it out on the table and be like "Look here, I said no, and no means no, if you don't want to accept that and respect that I want to wait I"m not ready for this then you can just find someone else because I want someone who cares about me and understands what I want and respects that.." You are right, it is your right, it's anyones right. He is not a good person, he is very selfish and only thinking of himself instead of you. I am proud of you for saying no, and standing up for yourself and being a virgin, that is a very Beautiful quality. And he should acknowledge that. I would dump him if I were you, because he is being wrong and that's clearly all he wants and will ever want, and most likely, once he gets that, he will start treating you like crap, and eventually leave you. You can do better and find someone better than him. Just leave him.. You deserve better. You owe it to yourself to find someone more deserving of you.
2007-11-02 08:06:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe the word you are searching for is "No!". If not, he doesn't really respect your wishes.
The line "if you love me, you would" shows that he doesn't actually care for your feelings.
Bravo for you for wanting to wait until marriage. Have you let him in on this bit of information? His persistence might change when he discovers your intentions. If not, I say Bon Voyage!
2007-11-02 08:08:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You nailed it - if you're not ready, it's your choice to say no. If he doesn't respect that, or he keeps putting pressure on you to have sex, he's not the right one for you. You may want to consider breaking up with him if he keeps pushing you on this.
2007-11-02 08:15:26 · answer #3 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he can't respect your wish to stay a virgin till marriage, then you don't need him.
2007-11-02 08:05:29 · answer #4 · answered by Jezebel 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋