my neighbour of fifteen years has just lost her son with whom I was very friendly. I have most of the letter done, but it still seems to be missing something.
Does anyone here have any good sentences that I could put in? I have never written a letter like this before.
also, I'm a bit stuck on the ending, from what I read i should be carefull when offering any further help...not sure what that means though
thanks a mill for any answers in advance
2007-11-02 07:45:04 · 18 answers · asked by fragile 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
here are a few well chosen words that gave me comfort
I'm sorry for your loss
he was a friend and a good neighbour and we will always remember him
your in our prayers
he will be remembered in our prayers
2007-11-02 07:50:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have known this person for some time, just say that you will cherish the memories and always remember.
I personally think a short, personal not tucked into a condolence card would be better but if a letter is what you want to send, then send it.
Another thing you can do if offer your assistance. Offer to help host the after-funeral gathering and/or to clean up afterwards. Basically, offer to be of any help you can but don't push it. Just let your neighbor know that you are available.
Many times, after the death of a loved one, people are in somewhat of a state of shock. They literally do not know what to do. Assistance can be invaluble and it will be a favor long remembered and appreciated.
EMT
2007-11-02 15:19:07 · answer #2 · answered by emt_me911 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, just write it from the heart. I can't give you a 'good' sentence, or a 'good' ending. I know that offers of help may sound everyday and insincere, but I am sure that you mean it, they're not just empty words. Just wait if necessary for a short while and the right words will come, and if they don't, your neighbour will be well able to read between the lines and know just what you are trying to express ...
Bless you.
2007-11-02 13:40:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are very brave and considerate to write a letter - most people send cards for the very reasons you are worried about. Any words of sympathy which are in your heart will never be forgotten by that person. You do not have to say much just be sincere. You are her neighbour and not family, so you are right not to offer too much help she has her family to do this, but you write your letter and believe me anything you write will be cherished much more than a card. Please do it, just write from the heart in your own words. Keep it simple, or you may regret writing something. I am so sorry for you, be around when needed or just listen.
2007-11-02 11:35:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Say only what you're comfortable saying.
I'd stay away from "I know how you feel."
Share a brief story of what her son meant to you, or something great you liked about the guy.
Share that you hope she can find comfort in knowing that so many people loved her son, and love her.
That sort of thing.
....... on a side note... You can say "If you need me, call." But know that most people wont' call. I recommend that after the funeral stuff blows over, and your friend is alone... you call her, ask her to go for a walk, take her to the movies, go out for coffee. things like that. Most poeple don't think about AFTER the funeral. Of course, be sensitive and if she doesn't want to, dont' push it... but she may crave some normal activity... and a friend with whom to do it.
2007-11-02 08:03:47 · answer #5 · answered by Audra K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult time for everybody. Keep the body of the letter short and state some good things about your friend (her son) then end it wit your hope that the future will bring her peace and complete closure.
Spartawo...
2007-11-02 07:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss. Your son was a great person to me. I thought the world of him. Or,
He was a good friend. I'm certainly going to miss him.
This has got to be a very difficult time for you. Let me know if I can help you in any way. God bless you.
2007-11-02 08:07:57 · answer #7 · answered by Barbra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your heart. Speaking from the recieving end of such letters, it is nice to read about fond memories you have of the deceased. Don't feel like you have to offer help. Simply end your note with the gratitude of knowing the person.
2007-11-02 07:48:17 · answer #8 · answered by maryquast 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would make sure you mention that you know she is going through a tough time and if there is anything you can do to help her have a little bit more ease, to please let you know and that you would be happy to help out. Also its good to mention something specific about the person she lost that was fond to you. Soemtimes little things like that give the greatest joy to someone who lost some one so special.
good Luck.
2007-11-02 07:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by Pammie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say it from your heart and it will be ok. It does not hurt to say if there is anything you can do to ask and you will do what you can or you have a shoulder available for to cry on if needed. The mother is going to be devastated for years to come. Just knowing someone cares for her and cared for her son will help.
2007-11-02 07:50:50 · answer #10 · answered by ima-bratt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋