My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. He's a really nice guy. He has given me no reason not to trust him, and maybe it's just my over reacting imagination but there were a few rumors about him hooking up with another girl. The rumors came from a very unreliable source, but I mean, they HAD to start somewhere. And lately it seems like he is being more distant. I could just be making it up b/c of what I heard. idk. I feel that I should trust him more, but I also feel that I should look into these things before we get to serious. what to do?!
2007-11-02 07:39:00 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You state at the end "before we get too serious". Are you both under the impression that you are in a committed relationship? Can you both date other people?
2007-11-02 07:43:18 · answer #1 · answered by Jessie H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's always subtle things to look for to see if a significant other is "cheating". Does he make a fuss to look just right when he goes out w/o you. Does he make excuses for being late or not calling. Has he purchased new/different styles of clothing or new underwear/colonge etc... If he has then just ask him if he's seeing someone. I would rather just get it out into the open and deal with it than wonder. Also talk about your relationship where it's going (if anywhere).. See what he thinks about seeing other people or how he would feel if you saw other people? Good luck
2007-11-02 14:48:06 · answer #2 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him about your feelings. Don't be confrontational, that will only drive him away. Just mention to him that you heard this rumor about him, and you were wondering if he heard it too, and then ask him about it, but gently, especially if you have no reason to doubt him. When you are done talking about it, drop it, and be prepaired, he may think that you don't trust him. But you have to reassure him that it's not about a lack of trust in HIM, it's everyone else you don't trust. And, when you talk, notice his body language, notice if he's missing dates, or just can't wait to get away from you, or off the phone fast enough...it's the little things that give men away, and if he really did cheat, most men rat themselves out sooner or later.
2007-11-02 14:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by iceprincess_12_04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're right that the rumors had to start somewhere... but usually what happens is someone somewhere along the line takes something out of context and stretches the truth a LOT.
why don't you talk to the other girl and ask her straight out if she's been with him or not. tell her what you heard and why you think she's done this. you could also ask your boyfriend straight out instead of sneaking around about it... it's really the best way to find out.
2007-11-02 14:43:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him flat out, and if you don't believe him.. dump him. There's no use in being with someone who you obviously have no trust in. Also, if the source was so unreliable, why is it bugging you so much? You really need to have a serious talk with your guy.
2007-11-02 14:42:38 · answer #5 · answered by Electric Dazeys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably will not catch him cheating if he is really cheating, what you need to do is sit down with him for a very serious talk...tell him how you feel and your lack of trust with him and the things you have heard has got you feeling a bit confused...and you need reassurance that everything is going smooth...
2007-11-02 14:51:10 · answer #6 · answered by dheck03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men can have many other reasons for being distant. Unlike girls we can just get together, spill our guts out and go home again. Men can't. It's a just not socially acceptable. My advise to you, before you go out in your black coat and top hat, you should try your best to break him. If you are think about a future with this man, you need to be able to communicate. You should be his best friend and companion.
2007-11-02 14:46:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah the rumors were probably started by some guy who wants to bang you trust your heart not what others say. Rumors are very seldom true.
2007-11-02 14:42:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Straight up ask him. Look sad ant maybe use eyedrops for tears and ask. If he is maybe he'll feel guilty and admit it. It's all in trust though. And if it's an unreliable source...
2007-11-02 14:43:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first what I would do honestly is ask him, i know you are like "like he is really going to tell me" but if he is a real man than he might tell you "yes but i love you" and that is when you tell him where to go.......but what i do when i want a quick check to make sure nothing is going on.when my boyfriend ask me if he can go out i tell him sure and then i will end up there some how..... i have caught a couple lookies (him looking at another chick) but that is it and i really cant get mad at that because i see A LOT of good looking men at there too. but put your heart into it and see how much do you really want to know. sometime baby you have to be your own PI.
2007-11-02 14:45:36 · answer #10 · answered by spchil 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋