Is it ok to hate your mother for leaving you for drugs and then comes back in your life when u are 17?

Answer 1

Yes. But keep in mind, we are not able to hate that which we do not love. Those two feelings will be at war in you probably the rest of your life.

Answer 2

Mouse, after seein gthis question perhaps I understand the previous one..

Don't hate you mother. It takes too much passion. Life is hard. Humans make many decision that are totally wrong. We regret doing alot of activities. Do you understand that addiction is a sickness? It's not something that is easily let go..

As a young mother, I relied heavily on my mother to help me. I had a child at 19 and had no clue how to raise him. I had no parenting skills and I was scared to death! I left and went out there and did what I though I needed to do. Be it destructive or productive. My son was 5 when I came back into his life. He was just at that age where he was like: "where you been"? I had to work real hard the next 10 yrs to earn his trust and respect.

The decisions that are made by us (mothers) in regards to our children are the best we can come up with-at the time we a making it. You have a lot of bittrerness, and that's okay. Don't hold onto it though. My son told me later, at about 14 how much he hated me for leaving, bc he simply could not see how a mother could leave her child. We had some rocky moments but we worked it out. He was able to let me know how the situation affected/was affecting him in his life..

No, it's not okay to hate your mother. Forgive her and if she is back in your life either accept her being there or let her know you need time to grasp this new event. She more than likely has regrets her actions and decisions and wants to make amends. Give her a chance, or not...

Just don't have hate. It stunts your growth into a man...

Answer 3

Your Mom might be an OK person, it's the disease you hate.
Do you think Mom intended to hurt you ? I doubt it, the disease took over and she lost control of who she is. I know it is hard to wrap your head around that concept and I realize how painful your life has been without a caring mother there for you. Why did she do drugs in the first place? I bet it was because of some deep pain or fear in her own life. You could try and give her a break and look at it now like she is doing the best she can which is all any of us can do.
In addition to all that, some times we just don't like our parents and sometimes they just don't like us, but if there was ever a time you felt love for that person then that is what is real.

Answer 4

Well, how long had she left....?? I am curious...and hopefully long enough to be completely clean and free of the chance of falling back into the drugs....(for your sake) Yes and no in answer to the question...I think you do care, and always will for she is your Mom. I read hurt into your statement in a big way. As well as anger, skepticism, trust, and fear. Missing her and needing her while you did grow up. Yes all those feelings are or would be normal. She should know how you feel, and only slowly in time can she come back into your heart. She is making a huge decision to re-aquaint with you, knowing what she has done to you. She is afraid too, and worried you will turn her back to the dogs.... I would let her know how angry you are....etc....and let her explain, then give her time, and give yourself time to absorb the entire meeting. I wish you luck....as how you open your heart and mind to her, will say alot about you and how you have grown and matured. It wont be easy....and good luck...

Answer 5

You shouldn't hate her....the resentment in you will only eventually destroy the way the drugs did her. However, you are not obligated to have any sort of relationship with her! We forgive, but we don't have to forget! The fact that you grew up without a mother has and will continue to change and have a huge impact on your life....so there's no possibility of "forgetting" what she did and how it's affected you. However, what's going to have more of an impact on her is how much you succeeded with out her and what you became on your own or from the help of other people.....hatred will have no effect on her...but you making it fine without her...will!!!

Answer 6

It is okay to feel however you feel. You have every right to be hurt, mad, upset and skeptical. I would be very cautious in any interactions or relationship that you have with her until she proves she is different and can be trusted. Take care of yourself.
On the other hand, people (even adults, parents and people who should know better) make mistakes. Drugs are a terrible thing and have ruined so many families. Some times people can earn a second chance. If she is willing to do what it takes to try to make it up to you and to prove she is different, then maybe she can earn another chance.

Answer 7

its okay to dislike ur mother becuz hate is a very strong word to use agaist someone who gave birth to u and y do she wants to come back in ur life after 17 years and why would any mother turn to drugs instead of a precious gift from God, just pray and ask God to forgive her and help her with her drug habits

Answer 8

hate is a very natural feeling, but you have to remember that inspite of what she did she is still your mother, try to investigate first what really happened sometimes people have problems they don't talk about and prefer blocking them using drugs,i know lot's of people who use drugs and they turn out to be very nice persons

Answer 9

yes but every one makes mistakes

Answer 10

Don't hate the person . . . hate the sin they are doing. SHE'S not the enemy, Lucifer is.