Why does a wedding bring out the worse in bridemaids?

Question

Bridemaid bitches.

Answer 1

One word - Jealousy!

Answer 2

One upon a time, there were four absolutely sweet, charming young ladies. One was to be a bride, the others to be her attendants. The bride hated shopping, so with sketch book in hand, designed a perfectly horrid gown for her sisters and friends to wear. Yet, the other young ladies resented wearing such an ugly frock, with no input of their own having been allowed.

The friends conspired to go shopping together and search for a better solution to wear for the grand occasion. However, the bride would not accept any such costumes the young ladies tried on. Instead, she stuck to her plan.

Off to the seamstress the bride and her sketchbook headed with the angry bridesmaids in tow. When the seamstress saw the design, a tactful one was she. For each "little" ugly, she suggested a much more pleasing alternative. "This will make the dress "hang better." Or, "this top will flatter all of the bridesmaids a bit more." Oh, what a wonderful seamstress was she. A true saint she must be!

The wedding day arrived, the dresses were donned, and the young ladies were lovely. Amazingly, the beautiful bride still claims that she "designed" her bridesmaid dresses.

The moral of this tale?
(1) A little diplomacy goes a long way when dealing with bridesmaids.
(2) Bridemaids are actually people too, and have both feelings AND opinions. They aren't robots, and most don't like being treated as such.

Answer 3

I think it brings out the worst in the bride not the bridesmaid.

As a bridesmaid it is NOT your duty to be there everytime the bride calls to debate if the napkins should be peach or cream. It is NOT your job to run all over town trying to find her aqua heart-shaped crystals or whatever cracked idea she has at the time. It is NOT your job to sit through 4 dress shopping sessions while she makes up her mind and it is definately NOT your job to turn into a bobblehead and say 'whatever you want it's your wedding day' when she quotes some outrageously expensive dress. It is NOT you job to throw the bride a fancy shower or drop a few hundred getting her smashed at her bachelorette.

All of the above things are nice but when you turn bridezilla I don't blame your friends for telling you to go shove it. Look it up. Traditionally a bridesmaid's job is to show up on wedding day. Help you there (within reason), make sure your gifts get where they should, possibly help teardown and clean pu the reception, then go home.

Answer 4

It's stress. As much as the bride has on her mind before the wedding, so too do the bridesmaids. It can be expensive being asked to be a part of someone's wedding, considering the dress, the hair, the makeup, the shoes, the bachelorette party, the bridal shower and a gift. Also, remember that these are women who you're close with, but it doesn't mean all of them will get along. Very often, bridesmaids don't even know each other until the wedding planning goes into full swing, so conflicting personalities can cause problems. I was recently in a wedding with one very bossy, very demanding bridesmaid and another who wouldn't pull her weight in ANYTHING! She had an excuse for everything and complained the whole way, so between her and the overly-zealous sister-in-law-to-be, the rest of us had quite a headache on our hands.

Answer 5

Funny, I think this should actually state "Why does a wedding bring out the worst in BRIDES"...

With all the Bridezillas we see on here and on TV, the ring brings out the worst in the brides.

The bridesmaids have to go through wearing a possibly horrid dress just because the bride wants them to. A true friend will work with their bridal party.

So, I think the bridesmaids are under a lot of STRESS. Sure some are jealous or envious, but its mostly stress.

Bride bitches.

Answer 6

Every wedding is different. Some bridesmaids are jealous but there are others who have been put through the ringer by previous brides and may begin the process already on the offensive. Sometimes the dress chosen is so bad that it makes the girls attitude negative for the remainder of the wedding planning. I think that in most cases a negative bridesmaid is stemming from the brides behavior in some way.

Answer 7

I was a maid of honor once. It is NOT JEALOUSY!!! I was NOT jealous that she was getting married, NOT jealous of who she was marrying, NOT jealous of having a wedding!!! I got married to my own Prince Charming a few years later and was NOT JEALOUS of anyone else before that!! Holy Cripes!

Brides, even nice ones, expect a lot from people around them, and when they push, about wanting showers, parties, special treatment, it is normal push back, to say, "that is the day I have to go to ABC place and have my DEF done".

The bride doesn't want to know that anyone has anything going on in their lives that is more pressing than Her Wedding. It is the Center of Her Universe, and brides don't get it, that it is only her, not everyone she touches.

Answer 8

Because weddings are getting more and more extravagant and to be honest, no one really likes going to them, it's all about the bride. It seems to have lost meaning so the bridesmaids are stuck dealing w/ engagement parties and rehearsals, bacholette parties and dinners and paying out of thier pocket and it sucks.

Answer 9

I agree with the stress issue. Also, I know this is your day (that's what people keep telling me about my wedding), but is there anything you could be doing to bring about some of this meanness? I'm sure you are trying to be the wonderful, blushing bride, but sometimes brides put unreasonable expectations on their bridesmaids.

-Have you forced them to wear ugly and/or ill-fitting dresses?
-Are you asking them to shell out big bucks for showers, bachelorette parties, decorations, hotels, etc.?

I know lots of brides who see their wedding day as a ticket to have their friends and family spend tons of time and money on them. While I'm sure you do deserve lots of time and money from those who love you, be aware of the pressure you're putting on others.

Answer 10

b/c when women are getting married they only think about what they want and not how it affects others. the bridesmaids get stuck throwing away $1000 or more of hard earned cash for someone else's wedding. not to mention there is always some drama where the women in the bride's or groom's family make trouble for the bridesmaids by forcing them to do unnecessary and expensive things for the wedding that IS NOT EVEN THEIRS!!! and if we object they tell the bride ridiculous things to make us look bad..

not bitter, not jealous, just realistic.. i am getting married next year and I have 2 bridesmaids - my sisters who get to wear whatever they want (within a color palette) and do whatever they want with their hair and i do NOT want a 10k bridal shower. thanks!

Answer 11

I guess that I would mostly agree with the people here; there is a certain amount of jealousy involved. Remember that women are MUCH cattier and more hateful to other women, than men are to their buddies. The Groomsmen are probably having fun with one another, lol, while the bridesmaids fight with one another and the bride. Two of my closest friends and "bridesmaids" got into a huge argument the night before my wedding, I got sucked into it, and it was terribly stressful. I got some great advice from my mother-in-law though; your wedding is supposed to be your time to shine---it's the day you are marrying and committing yourself to your partner. Nothing else matters except what you and he want. So quite stressing, and let them squabble amongst themselves if they wish. Don't let anyone ruin your special day. :)