How do you know when it's time to stick it out or suck it up?

Question

Brief rundown: I am 28, B/f is 29 and we've been together for a bit over 2 years & now have a 3month old daughter.
A few weeks ago we had an argument over the baby. I think he does not want her around, or only when it is convenient or she is happy. He is wishy-washy and I told him he needed to start helping more with her. (She is collicky, mind you) At one point during our argument he said, "If you don't like it there's the door." So, I called his bluff, packed a few things for myself and my child and went to my sister's. Once he realized I wasn't kidding, he begged me to stay. I had to leave to make a point that I would not put up with his disrespect.
Now...a couple of days ago, he left his email open...so...I peaked a little:) and found an email he sent to some chic on a porno personals website. The subject line was "True Love". He said he was looking for true love and someone to spend good times with. Now he is talking about buying me an engagement ring. What do I do?

Answer 1

You guys have a child together, so you both need to do some growing up. It's a big responsibility to raise a child, but it's a lot easier with two people than with one. A baby crying a lot can drive you crazy- it's probably hard for all of you- and it's hard on the relationship. This is a very common scenario- not at all unusual. I suggest some counseling. If you can't afford it, there are some places that do it on a sliding fee scale or sometimes ministers will do it for free.

It sounds like he is somewhat committed to you- wants to buy you a ring. Get an internet filter so he can't access porn anymore. Don't rely on him to stop it himself. Be firm about making the computer porn-free.

As far as helping more with the baby, that might be hard. He might not know how and if you start bossing him around, he might get resentful. Can he watch the baby with someone else around- his mother or someone like that? You probably need a break sometimes- don't be a martyr- give yourself a break- take care of your health.

Also, do some couple time. He is probably resentful because he doesn't get much alone time with you. Get a baby-sitter at least once/week for a date with you two. The baby can get by away from you for a couple hours. Prioritize your relationship with him and it will improve. Rank your relationship last on your list of priorities and it will get worse.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

Worry about getting an STD from him. Get yourself tested since you obviously don't use condoms. Call your sister up and see if she wants some company for a few days. You need to work this out once and for all with him.

Answer 3

Let him buy you an engagement ring.

Answer 4

Decide whether you are better off with him or without him-- and act accordingly..

Think long and hard..

From information given, I would say, without...