grown children coming back home?

Question

i wanna know whyyy do grown up children goes back home they wanna be grown but when you go back to your parents home your not considered grown you have to follow rules and help pay some bills and dont come back without nothing in the door im going through this im not by myself but i dont think kids dont really need to go tback home to thier parents because you dont wanna pay bills rent work ect thats a lot of burden going back home to mother and father orsingle parent be independent i never went back home i left when i was 17 and never been back im 38 now i have 3 grown kids 25-21-18 25 year old wanna come back in the door he had a apaprtment things didnt go well with his girl he split when he had his palce he didnt want to even call me wish a happy mothers day his father fathers day his sisters bithday graduation a card ect now he wanna come back i took care all my kids its time to be responsible dont go back home

Answer 1

You had your first child at 13 years old???? How sad for you. You are 38 and have a 25 year old??? I went back to my parents house when I was 25, and you know what I left an very abusive relationship at that time. I had PAID MY RENT, MY BILLS, and GROCERIES. HE IS Family. Love him anyways. I feel sorry for you, that you cannot open your heart and doors to your family. I left home when I was 18 years old. I was in College and working. I sure didn't have a 5 year old when I was 18. I don't believe you for ONE minute that you left home at 17 with a 4 year old in tow. Unless you met a way older man that took you in his home.

Answer 2

Wow. Hold up... you were 13 years old when you had your first child? You are an extremely YOUNG parent. Maybe since you were so young he wants to come back home because he grew up with you and thinks it would be fun to live with you again?? Were you the coolest young mom?? Maybe he misses you??

You need to make your decision then... Be firm. Explain to him what your expectations are (if you think it is needed write up a contract) if you allow him to come home. Tell him how long you will help him, what you expect in return (money, chores, friends over, etc.). And if coming home isn't an option tell him that too. I am sure he has a buddy's couch he can crash on until he can get another apartment.

My parents have let all of the kids come back to live with them for a short period of time (except me... my Mom calls me Miss Independent). My sister & her hubby moved in with my parents for a six month period when their house was being finished. Same with my step brothers... short time to save up money or just to crash on their couch temporarily. Even my hubby (the most responsible guy I know) moved back with his parents after he got out of the military until he found a job and an apartment (took him less than a month though).

If you handle the situation like an agreement it goes well. If you welcome them back with open arms and no restrictions only benefits then THAT is when they never leave again.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Answer 3

Depending on the situation that is some people's only choice. I moved out of my mother's house when I left for college, I was 18. I have never stayed with her for more then a week or two since. I didnt even move back home for summer break. But I had a small inheritance that gave me that option. I have friends that couldn't get jobs right out of college, so they had no choice but to move back home until they saved up enough money to get their own place.

Answer 4

Well, I'm an adult, with 2 children, and I'll be going back to my parent's house soon. My husband is in the military, and when he deploys I will be moving back home so that I can have help with the kiddos, save money, and allow my children to have a relationship with their grandparents(we currently live in Alaska, they live in Indiana). I have gone home on a couple different occasions, but always at my parent's urging. I also do not take advantage of them wanting me nearby. I help with bills, take on the responsibilities of cleaning the house(my parents both work full time, and my teenage bros are worthless lol), I also do most of the cooking, and grocery shopping.

Answer 5

Being a parent is a lifetime job. It doesn't matter if your child is 5 or 50. If my child was getting out of a bad relationship I would welcome them with open arms. I had to move back into my parent's house when my roommates that I had been sharing an apartment with broke up and I couldn't afford to keep the apartment. I paid my own bills, car, insurance, cooked most of the dinners and paid rent. It wasn't like I was sponging off of them.

Answer 6

Amen Mama!!! Tell them to go on somewhere! You don't care where, just not there!!! Some nerve of him.... He expects you to take him back in and he can't even keep in contact with his family! No way hos'e!!! Figures, the oldest wants to come back! Stick to you're guns! Bye!