Sex hurts my wife, why?

Question

Everytime I have sex with my wife, it hurts her, we use lube some times and it still hurts her like hell....
Its in the begining, after a while it gets better. I dont know if shes too small or im to big or both, but its annoying because she is never exited because of her fear that its going to hurt.
Sex has dropped drastically... I'm always the one that initiates and she does it because of me. I wish i knew why is this happening to us.

Answer 1

Spend more time in the beginning...foreplay. etc

Answer 2

Most women have gone through a stage in which intercourse is painful; in up to a third of women, this has lasted a long time. 1 There are many reasons why having sex can hurt.

Before we look at some of the more common reasons, I'd like to say a word about communication. Sometimes sex is hard to talk about. I' m very glad you asked your question here. Dyspareunia can be solved, one way or another, for people who are willing to ask about it.

One of the key things to learn during your current difficulties is that it's important to talk with your partner about what is going on. Tell your boyfriend why you like him and what feels good when you are together. But also tell him when something hurts. Learning to work together is an important part of sex.

What might be causing the pain depends on whether sex has always hurt or if this is a recent development; whether it hurts every time or only sometimes; and (perhaps most importantly) whether you feel the greatest pain when the penis first enters or once it is in deeply.

If you hurt as the penis first enters, the most common problem is not enough lubrication. Friction in this sensitive area can hurt! Your organs normally get wet and slippery as part of sexual arousal. Taking more time for sexual play before intercourse is often all that is needed to turn a painful experience into a pleasant one. Too fast is usually too dry.

Fear, too, can decrease lubrication. Fear of infection, fear of pregnancy, and fear about the relationship are all common. Abuse or incest can leave you dry until the real hurt is healed.

A lubricant you pick up at the drugstore can work wonders, but don't ignore the reason for decreased lubrication, if you know what it is.

Pain on insertion might also come from inflamed external genitals. The tissue might be inflamed from a yeast infection, warts, herpes, or some other infection. Sometimes the area is tender from a benign cyst called a Bartholin's gland cyst.

Intercourse can also remain painful as long as the hymen is partly intact. If you can insert a tampon comfortably, a mechanical obstruction is not likely.

Pain with deep penetration usually comes from the deeper organs being tender. This includes the ovaries, uterus, bladder, and even the intestines. At your age, the most common reasons for deep pain are ovarian cysts, a retroverted uterus (positioned so it gets bumped during intercourse), abdominal adhesions (in people who have had abdominal surgery), and an infection called pelvic inflammatory disease. Many other, less common conditions (such as inflammatory bowel disease) can also make you hurt. In some positions (such as lying on the side), penetration is not as deep, and sex might be more comfortable.

But if the hurting doesn’t improve quickly, you'll also need to talk to your doctor about the pain. Be sure to tell them whether the pain has always been there or is new. Describe what hurts most and when. Work together to identify the cause. Don' t stop asking about this until you understand why sex hurts and until you've gotten relief from the pain. Having sex shouldn't have to hurt.

Answer 3

She might be having an infection in her vagina (nothing serious. Ask her if she is having yellow fluids on her pants coz this is a sign of infection. my gynecologist prescribed a vaginal cream and after a week I was ok. It s something usual for women but if you dont go to the doctor soon it hurts and becomes worse )that causes the pain. I used to have that and I was avoiding sex. After that I was relating sex with pain so does your wife I guess and I was thinking about it all the time that I couldn't enjoy it that finally I was feeling pain. It was psychological rather than physical after the treatment. Gradually I got over it. So, you better take her to a gynaecologist to find out for sure.
Good luck

Answer 4

Why Sex Hurts

Answer 5

Is it a lubrication problem? Even if you dont think there is, try adding some lube. Get either some ky or go to the adult store and get something. Make sure it is smooth, not sticky. Maybe you should ask her where it hurts and what might be done to solve the problem. She may need to work on her kegal exercises, especially if she has just had a baby or is going through menopause. Weak muscles can definatly cause pain during sex. Are you abnormally large?

Answer 6

The medical term for painful sexual intercourse for women is Dyspareunia. It can have many causes. It is important to talk to a doctor if your wife have this problem because there are effective treatments for many of the causes. Here are the five causes: 1. Infections - Sometimes pain during sex is the first sign of an infection. Vaginal yeast and bacterial infections can reduce lubrication and irritate the opening of the vagina, and will usually be accompanied by itching or an unusual discharge or odor
2. Hormones -falling estrogen levels can dry up your natural lubrication and make your vaginal tissue fragile
3.Endometriosis
4.Vulvodynia
5. Interstitial Cystitis

hope this could help you and your wife

Answer 7

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RE:
Sex hurts my wife, why?
Everytime I have sex with my wife, it hurts her, we use lube some times and it still hurts her like hell....
Its in the begining, after a while it gets better. I dont know if shes too small or im to big or both, but its annoying because she is never exited because of her fear that its going to...

Answer 8

Has it always been like that since before you were married? If not, and this is a new thing I would tell her to go to a doctor because something must be wrong. Either way she should go to the doctor. It could be something on the inside that is not in the right spot. My friend had that problem with sex and it turned out there was a little sist, that was nothing, all it did was get in the way of sex. she got it removed and everything is fine. Our "things" are very elastic, it should be stretched to the size of your penis by now and should not hurt her. Go to the female doctor, they can help. They know more about this anyone else.

Answer 9

Wow, she wasn't a virgin before was she?

If not, then I would tell her to get checked out. Sex hurting when there's no visible or logical reason usually means something more serious. Like fibroids, or god forbid a STD or STI. Yes sometimes sex can hurt if a man's size is larger than average, but at the end of the day we can fit babies out of our uterus, then we can have sex without it hurting.

Tell her to get it checked. AND to relax. if she's not relaxed and anxious it will hurt more.

Answer 10

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Oh wow. Her too huh? I used to have that problem. I went to my gyno. m.d. & she did an exploritory surgery lapriscopicly & found i had adhesions. She cut those loose & i've been good every since. It did hurt pretty bad when having sex, so bare with her & suggest she see's a gynocologist, this can be fixed. It should not hurt. But i know where she's coming from, i got to where i made excuses because i dreaded sex so bad.

Answer 11

First, that's not too uncommon, and it really doesn't matter too much why, although it might be worth checking with a doctor if she is willing to go. That being said, your best bet is to take your time; play and cuddle until she's more relaxed. Use lots of lube all the time - it makes a _huge_ difference. Be slow and gentle; let her get used to it - if she doesn't enjoy it, you're not going to get it. It's just that simple. Concentrate on making it pleasurable for her, then you'll have more than you can handle. Patience works.