Well there is that guy from my work, whom i respect a lot ant like a lot too. However the problem is that he was hurt before and now it seems to be impossible for him to see another girl as a gf. Its been 4 years since he is single. I feel attracted to him but shy to go and talk to him. In my culture its always the guy who proposes the woman. plz help me.
2007-11-02 05:22:11 · 21 answers · asked by Miss_Angel 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
PROPOSE?? Sure, I bet he's just waiting for something like that.
2007-11-02 05:28:11 · answer #1 · answered by D J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that he is as shy as you are and he got the girl friend before because she went after him and then dumped him. You can start off by just being friends and ask him questions regarding work and perhaps then to stopping for coffee or a drink after work. Let the relationship start by being just friends and if and when he feels comfortable enough around you he may take the lead but if you are both too shy, you may both miss out on something because of the shyness. that might even help with getting over your own shyness which is always good. He will learn to love again when he values something, or someone, enough to let love grow. Good Luck!
2007-11-02 12:35:01 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course someone who's been hurt can love again, but it may take some time. Being that you two are coworkers I wouldn't advise mixing business with pleasure. Also, consider that what ever transpired in his last relationship has made him not want a serious commitment anytime soon. You may want to just try being friends and doing what friends do and leave the relationship prospect alone. First and foremost you want him to know/see that you respect the fact that he's not ready for a relationship but he has a friend that he can lean on. You never know, friends make the best lovers but don't count on this one.
2007-11-02 12:36:33 · answer #3 · answered by Sexy Starr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you work with him...can you ask him if he wants to go to lunch with you? Do you have a cafeteria in your building? Maybe you can ask him to go have coffee after work. That's pretty innocent. I wouldn't wait for him to ask you because it may never happen. He sounds like he's pretty "stuck" in the past. 4 years is a long time. He should have moved on by now, but there are some guys that just take a long time to heal. Too bad he won't get into counseling because that would help him to move forward with his life. Maybe you can be a good friend for now and be there for him. Maybe he'll eventually learn to "trust" again and open up to you. Who knows...maybe he'll open his eyes and see you for the first time and realize that there is someone else out there for him. Best of luck to you!
2007-11-02 12:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by 60's Chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have similar cultures here where guys have to make the first move so i understand where that shyness is coming from. i think that the best thing that you could do is be his friend first, try to win his trust and just be yourself. i think that brokenhearted people would place themselves in solitary confinement just to feel safe as they have been hurt and would not want to go through that ordeal again. i think that your boss ought to see that just because his previous relationship went haywire that things could not work out with someone else. but i think at this point what he needs is a friend and that's a good start for both of you. it's good that you both get to open up and be more comfortable with each other. then let's hope he realizes what a gem you are so that he would then make the next move. make him understand that you are a good person and that you are there for him so that when he's ready then he will make the next move. i think that this is the best thing to do because he might need space to think for himself and being too aggessive will just ruin everything. when he learns to trust you, then things should be smoothsailing. good luck!
2007-11-02 12:31:52 · answer #5 · answered by Tinkerbell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If after 4 years of his last break up he is still not wanting to get back in the dating scene he must have other reasons than just the fact that he was hurt. Maybe he just doesn't date people from work. That is usually a bad idea.
2007-11-02 12:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he might not feel like he can love again, depending on his situation. he must have been through a lot. The best thing to do right now is to become friends with him and gain his trust. then later you can move closer and possibly get into a relationship.
2007-11-02 12:27:42 · answer #7 · answered by help please 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to be his friend. Ask him to do small things, like go for a drink after work, or to lunch, not a date, just things you would do with a friend. Keep doing that and then see if he starts to get the hint that you want more....
2007-11-02 12:26:46 · answer #8 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 years and he's still moping around? This guy needs to get over it already! Sounds like he's been using his ridiculously old break up to grab attention and a pity party from unsuspecting women like yourself. Ask yourself this question. Do you want to get involved with a guy who can't, or won't get over a 4 year old break up? I don't think so!
2007-11-02 12:36:06 · answer #9 · answered by J S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yah its possible but for some it just takes a while. just go and talk to him but don't let him know u like him just yet. start out as friends and then see where that takes u. obviously he has problem trusting women and probably hasn't gotten over what his x did to him. give it time ok good luck
2007-11-02 12:29:58 · answer #10 · answered by bluedevilsgirl07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something severe must have happened to him to reach the point he is, men are usually less emotionally invested in a relationship as a whole due to them being more logical. Thus you should try using logic, 'You got hurt in the past but I had nothing to do with it, I am a totally different person and you will get a totally different experience with me. Why hold against me something from your past that I had nothing to do with?'
2007-11-02 12:27:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋