My finace went out with this girl in high school. they have been friends for about 10 years. (they had a falling out after they broke up) he is inviting her and i have mixed feelings. i dont care that they are friends, yet im scared i will be uncomfortable at my own wedding! i really dont want someone else there at MY wedding that he has had sex with!!! is this unreasonable or should i just get over it???
2007-11-02 04:46:13 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Oh sweetheart I am so sorry you are in this situation. Because I was in the EXACT same one. He was my first, but his ex was his first and him AND his family wanted her invited and I didn't. We ended up NOT inviting her. It is YOUR special day. One that you want to remember as happy for the rest of your life. I see it like you do. I didn't want to be uncomfortable. And if she comes, you know you are going to tighten up and get uncomfortable. There is just something not right about it. And you shouldn't have to put up with it on your wedding day. Talk to your fiance. Tell him how you feel! Its your right to be happy on your wedding day! But if she just HAS to be invited, then just enjoy the day. He is marrying you! And at the end of the day, you will still be married to the one you love. And THAT is what is important! Congrats on getting married and good luck!
2007-11-02 08:12:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
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Invite my finance's ex to our wedding?
My finace went out with this girl in high school. they have been friends for about 10 years. (they had a falling out after they broke up) he is inviting her and i have mixed feelings. i dont care that they are friends, yet im scared i will be uncomfortable at my own wedding! i really dont want...
2015-08-23 04:38:41 · answer #2 · answered by Fancie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhh the wedding stress. I just got married in June and I am SO glad it is over. Let him invite her. If they have been friends for 10 YEARS why would you want to keep someone that means that much to him from his special day. I have a friend that I dated and we have been friends since we were kids and he was invited, he unfortunately could not make it but he means a lot to me and if my husband said he couldn't attend it would have hurt my feelings. Try to think of how you would feel if the tables were reversed and take a deep breath. I learned that the things I stressed about didn't even matter in the end. Congratulations!
2007-11-02 05:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by cowgirlmermaid 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Feeling jealousy is no way to start out a wedding. Invite the woman. She is your husband's friend, and they are not currently having sex. By not inviting her, you are making a statement that 1)you can't handle any pressure by another woman 2)being rude to your husband 3) allowing yourself to feel less than confindant about your marriage. Look at it. He is MARRYING you. So what if he had sex with somebody else. Would it even be relevant if someone you had sex with a long time ago was there? At my wedding, my husband's ex-girlfiend was a bride's maid. She had become a close friend to me. The past is past. Enjoy your wedding and leave out the negative emotions.
2007-11-02 05:01:17 · answer #4 · answered by Elsie 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
On the plus side...He is marrying you, and NOT her. You can have her there, and let her see how happy he is with you. On the down side, this is your wedding day, you want to be comfortable and enjoy yourself, if you know that it is going to make you uncomfortable, tell your fiance...that you understand that they have been friends forever,but you just cant have her at the wedding. He should have enough respect for you, and your decision to grateful say she's not invited.
2007-11-02 05:25:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Show him how much you trust him and let him invite her. He doesn't love her; he loves you. In fact, he wants her to SEE how head over heels happy in love he is with you, and that YOU, not she, is the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. To me, his platonic friendship and his wanting her to be part of his wedding day speaks volumes about his good character -- he is able to have platonic friendships with women -- that's a GREAT thing; it means you don't have to be worried about him being a skirt-chaser at work. Trust me, if he still had any shred of feelings left for her, he wouldn't want her anywhere close to the wedding. And if he were a cheater, he'd be evasive and keep her hidden from you. I understand that it may be uncomfortable that they had a sexual relationship in the past, but the key is that it was in the past -- ancient history. He's not missing it or longing for it, and I doubt he's wallowing in the memory of it. If you can forgive his past (which happened before you and he were together) you will have a great foundation to move forward in your marriage. Bottom line, YOU hold all the cards here, and you've captured his heart. Revel in it, be generous, and let him have his friends there. Congrats to you both, and wishes for much happiness.
2007-11-02 06:00:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because their relationship was so long ago, and because they are still friends, I think you're being a little unreasonable.
He should be able to invite his friends - it's his wedding, too. He's marrying you, so this woman is clearly no threat to your relationship. We're inviting my fiance's ex-girlfriend to our wedding. She and my fiance have been friends for years, and she and I have become friends. I don't think it's that unusual for people to remain friends after they split up - especially if they split up on good terms.
Unless the ex-girlfriend has done or said something grossly inappropriate, I think you should invite her. The groom's attention should be focused on you, anyway.
2007-11-02 05:23:20 · answer #7 · answered by SE 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your fiancé and tell him how you feel. See how he responds. My own feeling is this: once I have accepted the friendship that my husband has with this person, it would not bother me if this person came to my wedding. Them having had sex 10 years ago would have been of no consequence to me. However, if I was feeling threatened by the "friendship", it would extend beyond just the wedding; I would be questioning the friendship itself, not whether or not this person was coming to my wedding. If you have no problem with the girl and with the friendship, try not to blow this out of proportion.
2007-11-02 05:08:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is YOUR wedding .. (and his, too .. but) .. if this girl would make you feel uncomfortable at your own wedding .. then sweetly tell your fiancee what you don't want .. and firmly stand your ground.
Your fiancee should understand .. he should want you to feel great at your wedding .. you are the most important person to him.
It is not unreasonable. If YOU don't want her there .. then you just simply don't want her there .. and it is your wedding .. and your choice.
You cannot help what you feel. This is one thing that you should NOT have to suck-up.
Have a wonderful wedding !!
2007-11-02 05:10:20 · answer #9 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Meet with her. Go and hang out, you, your fiance, does she have a b/f?
He should be allowed to invite her it is HIS day too.
They've been friends for TEN YEARS... put yourself in HIS place... how would you feel if a guy you knew for TEN YEARS and was friends with was not invited because your fiance didn't want him there?
Invite her. Get over it. You'll be too busy to be uncomfortable.
2007-11-02 09:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋