Sorry, I know this is in the wrong category, but I wanted to get all martial artists' about this!
PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION! ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgEFL4mnXdXl5.7I2W8VOIvsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071102073926AAC7qP8
2007-11-02 04:38:23 · 5 answers · asked by somebody 2 in Sports ➔ Martial Arts
Okay, sweetie. I have been in Martial Arts for 10 years, been teaching for 8, and you need to tell your Sensei everything you've told us. This guy might be harmless, or he might be a creep-o. I had a similar problem in my class, except I take Ju-jitsu! Do you know how hard it is to grapple with a guy when he's thinking about how pretty you are AND HITTING ON YOU WHILE GRAPPLING! Anyway, it got to a point where I had to tell Sensei about him, and Sensei kept the two of us apart for a few weeks, had a man-to-man chat with the guy, and a month later the guy quit.
The dojo is a safe place for everyone. If this guy continues to flirt with you and contacts you at home, who's to say he won't drop by your house sometime? What do you know about him?I've been stalked before( my sister's ex), and it's not fun.
Even if he just doesn't realize that his behavior is inappropriate, that doesn't change the fact that it is. Tell your parents and your Sensei. It could be that the guy just needs an adult to tell him to back off.
Please, let the adults in your life know what's going on! This isn't the type of thing you deal with on your own!
Good luck!
2007-11-02 09:48:02 · answer #1 · answered by Kikn4JC 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know the saying about your first instinct being usually correct? Well, if you feel something is wrong with this guy then take the appropriate cautions when being around him and certainly don't go off on short walks with him alone and give him the wrong idea. You can try letting him know that you feel uncomfortable from the extra attention he is giving you, or you can try talking to your senior instructor about being uncomfortable around this guy so he can pair him off with someone else during class. At his age, he should know better than to clown around with a 15 year old who's not a a family member or relative. If you feel guilty about casting suspicions of malice on his motives without any proof, just remember, it's better to err on the side of caution than to err on the side of neglect.
2007-11-02 13:04:07 · answer #2 · answered by Shienaran 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think he sounds like an unbalanced guy. The fact that he is delayed in life and is extra nice to a 15 yr old sets off a lot of my warning lights.
I would say do not make any contact with him outside the dojo.
I fear he may be a bad person.
This is a snappy judgment, but a safe one.
2007-11-02 12:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by spidertiger440 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to trist your own instincts and it would appear that they are telling you he has a crush on you. As an insructor at your Dojo, you should definately discuss the situation with your senior instructor/s to make them aware of it and to garner theri opinion on how to proceed.
While it is very appropirate for students to form friendships with instructors, on the whole there should be a respectful boundary that is not crossed. I would never tolerate any student playfully 'hitting' one of my instructors in the school setting as it shows a lack of respect and concern for the instructors position and responsibility. Your own instructor/s may have similar philosophies and may be able to chat with this man to explain why his conduct is not appropriate without you having to deal with it directly.
I also always charge my assistant instructors and junior black belts with directly handling such discpline, protocol, and philosophical situations as it helps them establish their own identity as instructors and it teaches them how to hand such situations sensitively where possible, and forcefully where necessary. You may be a little young to deal with a 30 year old in this manner, but certainly if he is making you feel uncomfortable, figuring out a way to let him know that and re-defining your friendship with him would be a good lesson for the future.
Undoubtedly you may face similar situations as you head out into life, college, work and so on. This could be a good learning experience for you - but the most important thing is to ensure that someone else in authority at your Dojo knows what is going on. It doesn't mean they have to necessarily act upon it, but keeping your own instructor up to date will allow them to guide you and act if they feel it is necessary on your behalf.
Such situations are always a little difficult. He may have the most innocent and sincere intentions and he should not be chastised without any actual inappropirate action - but I would certainly view his treatment of you as an assistant instructor as disrespectful and if he was my student, I would certainly be directing you to nip that in the bud, or I would be talking to him myself.
Good luck to you, and I hope it is all a simple misunderstanding and that he modifies his conduct toward you in an appropriate way.
Ken C
9th Dan HapMoosaKi-Do
8th Dan TaeKwon-Do
7th Dan YongChul-Do
2007-11-02 13:24:38 · answer #4 · answered by Ken C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be polite.
Be courteous.
Be careful. (just in case)
He may not be a bad guy at all, and I won't judge a man for being nice. Just be careful in case his intentions are more then friendly.
2007-11-02 16:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by Ray H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋