Would you take a picture of the deceased in their casket (at the Funeral Home)?

Question

My extended family has had quite a few deaths recently and we have spent alot of time at funeral homes standing over the deceased body. What an experience.

Anyway, I have noticed recently quite a few people have come into the funeral home with a camera and ask the immediate family if it is OK to take a picture of the decesed. They were given the OK in most cases.

Looking back at the funeral of my Mom and Dad I wish I would have taken some pictures of them in their casket but did not think it was a good idea at the time. Now I think differently. What do you think?

Answer 1

I think it is a very bad idea. And I am quite surprise a the nerve of some people asking!

Answer 2

I had never heard of this custom until two years ago. Apparently someone I know did this after we all left. The family decided to take one last "family" picture with the deceased since the whole family was together and they are never all together in one place.
Someone also took pictures at my Uncle's funeral. It was his brother's friend. It was weird. I am glad they did not ask us to pose. I was in no shape to do that neither was the rest of the family.
I always find it sad that funerals are some of the only times that a family is ever completely together. My family now makes it a point to have a happy get together every once in awhile for this reason. Plus we get to have happy photos from the occasion.

Answer 3

No.
I don't want to remember my loved one in a box, looking all pale and well, dead.
I want to go back on family photo's and remember them in joyous occasions.
I went to my husband's grandma's funeral back in 04 and saw about 6 people taking pictures. He has a cousin who thinks he's a photographer for every family function and of course he made 2 albums out of the funeral. They also, after the burial, asked people to stand together for group pictures lol like it was some kind of good gathering.
Anyway, my MIL sister gave her the CD with all the funeral pictures on it and since we're the only ones who buy quality ink and paper i was asked to print them out and oh my gosh.
I said to my husband, it's one thing to see someone in an open casket but to print the pictures was really uncomfortable!
I got it all done and never want to do that again!

Answer 4

Well, from where my family is from originally, that is what you do, kind of like a last memorial for them in print.

When my grandmother died, there were pictures taken of her in her casket, and it still gives me the shudders, but that is just me. I think it is a good idea for some, but to of course, as you might have experienced to ask the direct decedent (s) first before hand. As for you not taking pictures, I had a uncle make me copies when I was ready to have one, and he did so with a smile, and we got to reminisce, which was lovely for me (she was my mother more or less to me.)

I hate saying it, but it makes me queasy, it's one thing to kiss the deceased on the forehead or something, which some people find disturbing, or as a final farewell. I however, feel since it is a time of loss, as well as rebirth for the one who died recently, allowing each person to do something like taking a picture is fine, it helps them.

Answer 5

Everybody grieves in their own way, so if taking a picture is one way to help cope, I think it's fine. However, they should ask permission, unless of course they are immediate family, in which case the decision is totally up to them.

As for me, I have never had anyone close to me pass away, so I'm not sure what I would do. But right now I feel that I wouldn't want to remember the person dead. So I probably wouldn't take a pic, but I would keep pictures of them that I had when they were alive. But who knows? Maybe if it was someone close, I would want to take a pic.

Answer 6

I think it is reasonable to take photographs of the sort you described, but not OK to take the photos in a way that is upsetting to other people. The pictures should have been taken without others present, in order to avoid upsetting people. Each person has his or her unique way to deal with, and react to, the terrible sadness that most people feel at such times. Obviously, someone wanted photographs - maybe for himself, but maybe for someone else who could not be present. Those photos might be very helpful to someone who is trying to adjust to the loss of the person who died. Some people actually can not fully accept the loss - to the point that they actually don't quite believe the person died. Those photos might be helpful to such people. Unfortunately, some things that help people end up hurting other people. That hurt most often is not intentional, but it still hurts. I think we all should try our very best to be compassionate toward all others at all times, especially in all things associated with a person's death. In everyday life, we might hurt others only slightly by our inconsiderate acts, but when someone has died, a slight inconsideration can cause very serious pain to another person. In all things associated with the death, funeral, and burial of a person, we need to act very carefully - and slowly. We need to act slowly in order to give ourselves time to think of all the consequences of our actions, of all the people each little act might affect and how it will affect him or her. We need to resist doing anything on impulse, because impulsive actions almost always involve little or no consideration of others. I think the person who took the photos probably had no idea that his actions would be offensive to others. He should have been more thoughtful. I also think that anyone who still is angry at that photographer should consider that he, too, was dealing with a painful loss. He was not thinking clearly, but reacting to his own pain and distress. His photos were part of his attempt to deal with the loss of the person who had died. Maybe the pictures were for his own benefit, but maybe he got a telephone call just a few minutes earlier, a call asking that photos be taken for a distant relative or friend who could not attend the service. It likely is not possible to know for sure why the pictures were taken right then and right there. I hope everyone can be more forgiving of each other. Remind all people involved that everyone who was there was suffering a great loss, and not functioning at his or her best. The photographer should have been more thoughtful, and everyone else should now be more thoughtful of him. Everyone present should try to be forgiving and compassionate toward everyone else who was there. They all were greatly distracted by their pain over the loss of the person who had died. I am praying for them all as I write this. I am Roman Catholic. Peace be with you, and with all those involved in the matter you described.

Answer 7

When my grandmother died, we took pictures after the burial service was over. We took pictures of all the flowers. But, we did not take pictures of her body. I felt a little odd taking pictures of the flowers. I can remember what she looked like in the casket, but try not to think of her that way. I'm glad I don't have a photo to remind me.

Answer 8

Bad idea. For one thing, the flash is going to change the lighting, and the body is specially cosmetized to look its best in the exact light found in the funeral home chapel or repose room. For the same reason, the casket should never be opened at the church or the cemetery.

Besides that, its morbid.

Answer 9

I personally think its extremely strange. But I'm the type of person that can't look at a body either. But I do know that it is a custom to some people to take pictures. My step father was raised in a family that does this.

Answer 10

That used to be a fairly common practice. Somewhere we have pictures of my grandfather's funeral from 1983, including him. I'm not sure why people do, and was little so I don't remember who took those.

Answer 11

No, but everytime i go to a family funeral, within a week, my parents mail me pictures of the corpse.
I'm afraid someone is going to intercept my mail and call the police or something.