He wants to "get some"?

Question

Call me old fashioned, but I think that when a guy puts the moves on the girl, he should do so slowly and respectfully.

I've hung out with a guy 3 times so far. I'm coming off of a bad relationship and I explained to him, I wasn't ready for anything...I'm still very hurt and trying to mend myself...

We watched a movie the last time we hung out. He kissed me. Which was fine. But he kissed me and then asked if I had a condom. I kind of shot him a look..like..."There's no chance we're going to have sex." And he proceeded to try to take off my shirt. I stopped that. And he tried for my pants. Not once, but twice.

I'm not going to lie, I felt a bit offended. I'm 23 so maybe it's not that big of a deal. But it is to me. I was kind of into him until this happened. I guess I just expect a guy to be respectful, gentle, and slow with me. I didn't feel that at all with him. And now, I don't really want to see him again. Am I making too big of a deal of this?

Answer 1

no sweetie. you're doing the right thing. never give in into something that you don't feel comfortable of doing. you're not ready and you made it loud and clear. it's just creepy that he doesn't take no for an answer. there are tons of guys out there for you baby girl. you're still young and there is no need to rush it. you'll know when you're ready and know when the right guy will come along. don't sweat it, you did the right thing.

Answer 2

You should not have given him a look that said we're not going to have sex. When he asked if you had a condom, that's when you should have said, outright, "There's no chance we're going to have sex" so he wouldn't misunderstand you.

Women often give subtle hints that men don't always understand. Next time a guy goes for your pants a second time after you told him no, you give him a hard slap across the face and leave.

I think since you had told him you're exiting a disfunctional relationship he probably should have considered that you might be a bit skittish.

He's basically not been listening to your signals so maybe you just need to let him know that his "ham handed attitude" toward you in particular has made it certain that he's never going to have sex with you. And explicitly tell him that you never want to see him again.

Answer 3

No your not overreacting at all. You told him no, and stopped him from taking your clothes off, but yet, he still tried to force himself on you. Guys like to take advantage of women that just came out of a bad relationship, cause the women are vulnerable, and easily fall for a man that seems nice. But I can pretty much guarantee if you let him 'get some' you wouldn't have heard from him again. He needs to rethink his whole strategy for getting women, just because we let them kiss us, DOES NOT mean, we are giving it up. Good luck girl! I'm glad it didn't go further then what it did, the night could have been so much worse! Hope you stay away from him, he will never respect you!

Answer 4

Well I dont think you're making to big of a deal, but the guy is obviously not understanding how hurt u really are. Its hard for some guys to understand how a girl is feeling, trust me i know. But if you do ever decide to see him again you two need to have phone call disscussing how you feel and what you're looking for. Then if he still attempts to sleep with you, then its time for a new guy, or maybe u just need a little time for yourself you know...

Answer 5

girl, not at all. i'm also 23 and have had a similar situation happen to me. i don't believe you are old fashioned at all... i think you're mature enough to recognize you don't need someone like him being disrespectful to you. and that's just what he's doing. you told him up front- and during his little antics- yet he still preceded to try things. obviously he's not the person you need in your life right now. it's very frustrating to know that there are guys out there like this, but they're around nonetheless. don't feel bad at all about not wanting to see him again. i'm glad you acknowledge that this isn't the way to treat a woman. take care, hon;)

Answer 6

Whoa, you should definitely get out of that relationship as soon as you can. If he tried to take off your clothing after you already told him to stop then he has no respect for you. He might end up being very demanding or even abusive later down the road if you stay with him.

Answer 7

He is a jerk and a pervert. What he was doing amounted to attempted rape. You said NO... maybe not verbally, but your actions spoke the NO that your lips didn't have to. If he continues at this point it is attempted rape. I'd dump this jerk to the curb as quickly as possible. Furthermore, I'd tell all of your female friends to stay away from him too... for their own safety.

It's idiots like this guy who give all men in this world a bad reputation. REAL men will treat you in the manner that you desire. Be safe and smart girl!!

Answer 8

It is not unreasonable for him to think you two will have sex but if you clearly showed him that you're not ready, then he does not have the right to continue making moves. maybe he shouldve talked to you about it so that there's no confusion. make it 100% clear that you're not ready. It is a big deal and if he cant deal with it, then why waste your time.

Answer 9

Did you ever actually say "No" or did you just push him away? He could be getting mixed signals. Be very clear with him and vocally express your rejection.

I think he's slimy anyway. You told him you weren't interested in that kind of relationship, but he pushed the issue. (Again, if you weren't direct in your refusal, you should have done more - but I still think he's slimy.) Not all guys are gentle and slow, but they should all be respectful.

Answer 10

Hi-
All guys "want some" and perhaps you could be genrous and say well perhaps he made a mistake.......BUT he made moves that are simply out of line. First, despite the BS most guys are respectful. You should feel offended and you are correct in saying I dont wat to see him again.

Just leave this guy and move on. You deserve better........