breaking the pacifier addiction?

Question

Hello,
my daughter of 4 still uses her pacifier on a daily basis. Following the advice of my mom and aunt I decided to operate the hole method: 2 days ago I punctured the end of the pacifier with a needle to remove the stimulating effect of the sucking. After a few minutes of irritation my daughter still keeps the pacifier in her mouth each day. What was my mistake? Who can contribute successful experiences with the hole method? Will the child eventually give up the damaged pacifier after a few days of her own accord?
Greetings from germany !

Answer 1

With our son, we cut the tip off one day. The next day we cut it off more(about half way). By this point he did not want it anymore. He cried that night and the next night but by night 3 he was just fine. If your daughter is persistent, just keep cutting it till there is nothing left. It worked perfectly.

Answer 2

Neither of my children took pacifiers so I haven't had personal experience with this. However, I watched an episode of "Super Nanny" and thought that they had a really good idea.

The nanny had the little girl on the show collect all of her "binkies" and put them in a bag. They searched all over the house, outside, in the car for all of the pacifiers. She explained to the little girl that they would put the bag of pacifiers on the branch of a tree (though I suppose you could put it anywhere) and that the "Binky Fairy" (or whatever your daughter calls a pacifier) would come during the night to get the bag and take the pacifiers to babies who needed them, and for being so generous, the "Fairy" would leave her a surprise in the morning.

The next morning, the little girl went, and in the bag, it was full of "big girl" toys and other items. (I'm sure you could just go to the dollar store and buy things to put in here).

It seemed to work really well for the little girl, using the whole "Tooth Fairy" concept, so perhaps you could try it out.

Answer 3

4 is too old to have a pacifier. When you notice the thing is not in her mouth or she doesn't have it, hide it throw it away, get rid of it. When she asks, tell her to find another one on her own. If she can't find one she doesn't get one. We did this with our little girl when she was 2. She literally had dozens of the darned things, because of her and us. Every time we came across one for about a month we Quickly and Quietly got rid of it and made her deal with finding another one. There were times when she made us miserable, but we did not give in and in about a month she no longer brought up the binky. She is 3 now and doesn't even react to the binkys that come with the new dolls that she sometimes gets.
If you have to, start telling her that its hers but she wasn't taking care of it so it had to be thrown out.

Answer 4

I would not follow #1's advice. You don't want you child to think that things just randomly disappear in life. This undermines the whole "parents are security" idea. You are supposed to be providing a secure environment for her, and by abruptly taking away one of her security items, you might make her think that other security items, like her favorite stuffed lovey, or even you might disappear as well.

My pediatrician recommended that we try to get Hayleigh to trade her binky for something that she wants more. Once the binky is traded, it does not come back. When she asks for it, you have to remind her that she traded it for the new item.

Another thing that you can try is to take her to your local pond and tell her that the ducks need extra vitamins and that they can only be found in pacifiers. Have her throw them into the pond. This will give her a feeling of finality and closure, especially if she throws them in herself. Again, when she asks for them, remind her that the ducks needed them more.

We haven't actually tried either of these methods with Hayleigh yet since she is only 18 months and too young to rationalize like that.

BTW, don't let anyone criticize you for letting her keep it that long. It is a lot more common than most people will admit, and all the do-gooders in the world who say "my children never had a pacifier" or "my child gave it up at a year" must not have ever had to listen to their child scream through the first part of the night until they fell asleep from exhaustion because they needed it to go to sleep. And I know that ~I~ will get criticized for stating that :-)

I had a pacifier when I was a child, and I'm not going to say how old I was when I gave it up, but I was old enough to remember it. I finally gave it up when it wore completely out.

If you really want to get rid of it that way, keep cutting progressively bigger pieces out of it until there is no longer any satisfaction from sucking it. That's what happened with me.

Good luck, and know that it will pass!

I like the other poster's idea of "the binky fairy". That sounds like the one that I will most likely use myself!

Answer 5

Throw it away mom. My daughter is 14mo and I have thrown hers away. She is fine with it. The only time I have problems is if she finds one that I missed, like in the bottom of her toy box, and then I have to wait until she spits it out and becomes distracted to throw the thing in a drawer or the trash. She is damaging her teeth a little more everyday that you allow her to have that pacifier.

Answer 6

Just take it from her. It is not going to scar a child for life to just take it.. they may be upset for a few days, and you will have to deal with some extra crying... but in a week it will be forgotten.
Mom to Hayleigh, you are a twit if I ever heard one. If a child that young is too young to rationalize things than how would they rationalize that things just "randomly disappear in life" by taking away a pacifier? It's better to lie to them and have them feeding binkys to the ducks? GET A LIFE WOMAN. It's a pacifier.. a little piece of plastic.. you're not slaughtering a puppy in front of them.
And you're wrong about the "do-gooders" who never heard their babies screaming all night.. BS!!!!!!! Both of my kids cried through the night, and I could have easily shoved a pacifier in their mouths to get them to be quiet.. but I didn't because I refused to cave into something that I would only be trying to wean them from a year later. There are other and BETTER methods to use for soothing a cranky or upset baby. Things do just disappear in life, I am sure that is a lesson you will try to protect precious Hayleigh from until she is 80.. meanwhile she will be sitting at a duckpond feeding material things to the ducks. Get a life lady..

Answer 7

I read in a magazine that you make up a story about how the pacifier is a baby and it came to help her for a while but now it's time for it to go back home because it miss it's mom and dad so you put it on the window sill when she goes to bed and when she wakes up in the morning explain to her that it's mommy and daddy came to get it and that it was so happy to see them. hope it helps!!

Answer 8

We took my nephews pacifier away when he turned 2.

We told him he was a big boy now and that he doesn't need to use the pacifier anymore. then we put them in a cupboard. as soon as he went to sleep we threw them all away.

He cried for a bout 2 days then he forgot about it.

Do not cut tip off it is a choking hazzard.

Answer 9

HELLO GERMANY AND GREETINGS FROM CONNECTICUT! you can simply take it from her and offer her something in return like her favorite toy or even a cookie. my daughter was near 3 when she gave up the pacifier. she simply put it down one day and simpyl forgot about it. your daughter maty just give up on the pacifier on her own accord. she's near school age and when she sees other children her age without a pacifier she probably will not want one anymore.

Answer 10

break it or drop it in the toilet and let her find it closly behind her and tell her it is not good anymore take her mind off it and do something fun take her to a zoo or something and forget to take it then when you get home tell her she was a very good girl going with out it 4 years old tell her she cant have it at school and make it a big exciting deal about going