Ok, well i had my dad almost convinced to get beer/wine for our wedding reception until his girlfriend told him it wasn't his responsibility...it was the grooms parent's responsibility. Well thats all well and good except my hubby to be and his father don't drink, his mom doesn't drink much either but I do know of some people on his side that would drink wine and beer...
Ok..so we'll have a dry wedding, fine with me, i'll just be providing champagne toast (real and non alcoholic).
Well I don't particularly want a cash bar (as everyone has told me it's tacky).
HOWEVER, his mom said we should have a cash bar, and it's included in the price. His parents are paying for some of the expenses. My dad and his girlfriend agree with the cash bar...just note on the invities or reception card that champagne toast is provided by Bride and Groom but there is also a cash bar available on premises if they would like alcohol.
2007-11-02 02:08:37 · 18 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't want to be drunk on my wedding day because
I would like to remember the occasion lol...but im considering buying from that bar as well.
Thoughts? What to do? My parents and his parents are paying for most of the
wedding because they want family involved, my fiance and I can't afford the expense but my father said eloping wasn't acceptable! lol
2007-11-02 02:08:47 · update #1
Hey Jacq, learn how to type...and try doing a wedding with only 6k dollars in a high priced city (columbus ohio)
My fiance doesn't want to purchase alcohol himself because he doesn't believe in it....he says he doesn't want to waste his money on such things but if others do thats fine lol
2007-11-02 02:31:41 · update #2
NOTE: They're non alcoholic champagne is just sparkling grapejuice so it is non alcoholic lol
2007-11-02 02:34:24 · update #3
Gracie
Kegs at the place we're getting married are 205 and cases of wine are 280
it's crazy!
2007-11-02 04:20:37 · update #4
i also want to add that this is a daytime wedding :) not an evening wedding and both my weddingplanner and caterer told me that cash bars are more acceptable in the daytime...
2007-11-02 06:01:43 · update #5
If a cash bar "comes with" and no one is pushing you to NOT have the cash bar, then go with it. I'd request that the venue decorate the bar in a way that makes it clear it's THEIR bar making money for them, not YOUR bar making money for you.
The only reason to mention either the bar or the toast on your invitation would be if you are fairly certain that some guests would want to avoid any event where alcohol was present. Don't instruct your guests to "bring money for your booze" unless you think your guests are either habitually without cash or desperately concerned about the availability of alcohol.
Relax! You don't need to establish a detailed itinerary for your guests. They've been to weddings before and know what to do. If they don't, a gaffe or two doesn't spoil a party. You can't have "a perfect day" because there are just too many variables when you give a big party. Save the "perfect day" dream for your honeymoon, when it's just you and your beloved. Congratulations and best wishes.
Why is 'Jacqeli' being such a *****?
2007-11-02 02:38:02 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 7⤊ 2⤋
After trying to plan a wedding on a budget, I don't think a cash bar is tacky at all!! I think only lushes and drunks find it tacky! I'm providing you food and entertainment, I do not need to provide you with the means to get intoxicated if I can't afford it!!
I personally think those who get "offended" by someone not having an open bar (like jac) are the ones that have never gotten married, or went into debt having a dream wedding.
If you can afford an open bar- Great!! But I personally would rather have close family there and a nice location, then just a hand full of people or a crappy location so people can drink!
Give me a break people, your going to someones wedding- Not bar hopping!!!!
2007-11-02 04:50:58 · answer #2 · answered by kimandryan2008 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I second that Jacq needs to learn how to type. And by the way (more directed to her than you ) of course beer at a reception! More than half the people will choose that (not to mention, it's going to be cheaper than hard liquor). I bartended last weekend at a wedding and with all the various forms of hard liquor, more than half of the people wanted beer. I myself am not a fan of cash bars. My fiance and I were at a wedding a couple of weekends ago where the bar had a few free offerings (one or two kinds of beer on tap and one or two 'well' choices) and a full bar menu from which drinks could be bought. That actually worked out quite nicely giving guests choices (and plenty did want to pay for the better stuff). And another thing...your dad's gf should have kept quiet...what tradition says isn't necessarily what happens these days. My fiance and I are paying for most everything ourselves. Others involved have picked which things they want to pay for.
2007-11-02 03:03:35 · answer #3 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about a compromise? Put like $250 toward an open bar tab, and when that money is gone, then the bartenders start to charge money for drinks. A keg is only like $100, so you could consider adding a free keg of beer to the $250 as well. It is as simple as placing a sign on the bar that says something to that effect.
My best friend did this at her wedding (with a slightly higher bar budget and a framed sign using the same cardstock as her invites and place setting signs) and it worked out great. Everyone who drank got at least one free drink and after that they didn't mind buying their own.
Since it sounds like most people don't drink, I would say that $250 is more than enough to go toward a bar tab..that plus free non-alcoholic beverages and the champaigne toast should suffice your guests.
2007-11-02 04:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I was the guest, of course I would rather have an open bar than a cash bar - but I would rather have a cash bar than no bar at all.
If you can't afford to pay for alcohol, at least give them an opportunity to pay themselves. Most people like to drink at weddings. Putting a note on the invites should give everyone a sufficient heads-up.
2007-11-02 05:17:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh, I had the exact same problem!! What we did to compromise was to purchase a few bottles of Champaign and wine, and we bought a keg (we had to keep it outside, we had our reception in a country club that didn't allow alcohol except the keg we bought from the vendor, which had to be outside) and had a cash bar...BUT we had enough alcohol from the keg and wine to appease everyone, and I think there were only 5 drinks bought at the bar. Good luck with whatever you decide, and congrats!!
2007-11-02 06:44:48 · answer #6 · answered by Katy B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the groom's family is not supposed to pay for that. it's the bride's family who pays for the reception, including alcohol. (groom's family pays for rehearsal dinner and alcohol there). however, everyone knows weddings are expensive and cash bars are acceptable. esp if his whole side of the family won't be drinking much. in planning my wedding, i found out that some venues recommend the cash bar, because of the responsibility put on "us" afterwards when all the drunk people are trying to get home. i'm doing the host bar, however. we're buying a keg and putting $1000 down on host bar (after that people can buy their own). since most people don't drink, you could put down $500 or so.
2007-11-02 03:45:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you think the majority of your guests are not going to drink, then you can do dry or cash-bar. A great "excuse" would be "I didn't want to pay so much extra for every person - and have to cut back on my guest list - when we have a family with a majority of non-drinkers".
I've heard alot of comments about either provide alcohol or don't provide it, don't do the "middle ground" of a cash bar.
As for your father's girlfriend, do all us gals a favor and give her a kick for us! In these modern times, parents pay for different things and while the alcohol may "traditionally" be paid for by the grooms parents, these days all that "who pays for what" stuff goes out the window.
My fiance & I are financing our wedding ourselves.
2007-11-02 02:57:18 · answer #8 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I don't think a cash bar is appropriate under any circumstance. I don't care who says it's ok, it isn't. You never, never invite anyone to something you are hosting and expect them to pay for any part of their refreshments or entertainment. Having a dry reception is fine-you just have punch and soda. Offering just a champagne toast also works. Limiting the bar to beer and wine is another option.
Of course cash bar is included in the price--the guests are paying! The vendor doesn't care who pays for the drinks.
No matter what anyone says, it is wrong to ask invited guests to pay for any part of your wedding.
2007-11-02 03:07:54 · answer #9 · answered by melouofs 7 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I don't like "cash bar's" at weddings - it's rude to your guests (about as rude as your Dad's girlfriend) - who have already bought gifts & dresses up & spent money to attend your big day. Just go with the champagne toast & keep it dry - people can hang for a couple of hours w/o booze - and you can save the money.
2007-11-02 03:27:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋