How do I deal with this roommate problem(s)?

Question

Long story short: I furnished the apartment, even my roommate's bed, from the couches and entertainment center to the forks...I payed for it all. She hasn't bought a damn thing for this house, not even cleaning supplies or toilet paper. She is the laziest person I know...I work a 9 hr day...she MIGHT go to class. She lounges around all day doing not ****. She hasnt lifted a finger since we've been roomies (4 mnths). Oh and Im not only cleaning up after her-but also her friend who has been living with us(without my permission) FOR FREE. So, now I'm cleaning up after 2 slobs. I just made my free-loadin 3rd roommate pay-up, but she refused to pay anything more than $50. But she is my roommates friend so she has to deal with her. Their garbage & dishes pile up until I finally clean them b/c I cant stand the mess after so long. They leave trash everywhere and laundry in the washer & dryer for days till I fold it for them. I have talked to her but it hasnt done any good. Any advice?

I like her as a person and she is a good friend...but a horrible roommate. I'm just so sick of cleaning up after her, I know it sounds like I'm being a door-mat, but I have tried and tried to talk to her about it. And the fact that I am a neat freak doesn't help, I can't just leave her and her friends messes laying there...it disguists me! I'm not her mother so I'm not going to tell her what to do...but I feel like I am her mom by always picking up after her. What do I do? How can I get my point across without causing any conflict? And...what should I do about her friend who has been living with us now for 3 months? Should I make her 3rd the rent or bills? Should I make a chore list for all 3 of us...or just for me and my roommate? I'm sick and tired of cleaning up after 2 people, I wouldn't mind it so much if it was just my roomie b/c she is actually paying rent and bills so she can do whatever. But its the fact that her friend is a slob and not helping out in any way. ugh Im stressed

By the way-both of our names are on the lease which doesn't end until next July. So I can't really kick her out. I want some advice on how to deal with:
1) the cleaning issue
2) the issue with her friend living here for free
3)getting her to chip in on cleaning supplies etc..
This is my roommates money issues-she complains constantly ab not having a job and even asks me to look around for her...but she has yet to get off the couch and look for a job herself...and its been 4 months. She gets a monthy allowance from her parents...which literally is spent all on alcohol and food. She is in the "partyin" stage of college whereas I am a VERY serious student. I just don't want her to flunk out of school..which is very very possible...and have to move back in with her parents...leaving me high and dry looking for a roommate.
Is there anything I can do....or should I just say screw it all and forget about it....?

Answer 1

OK, let's start with the deadbeat's friend. If she has been there 3 months, she's a roommate. Charge her one third of rent, toiletries, etc. Alternately, $10. a night.

You are the cleaning lady. Charge each the way you want, whether it's hourly ($10.-15. hr is fair), or by the piece (picking up clothes, books, glasses, pizza boxes, etc. & dishwashing.) And NEVER fold their clothes OMG! If you need the washer/dryer, dump the stuff on their beds, & close the door.
Too bad she's on the lease. Maybe you can talk to the landlord and change it. Probably not, so you could very well be stuck til July. This is a good lesson though. Maybe you need to live alone next time.
Put a lock on your door for your own supplies, extra food, etc. so you won't lose stuff when they run out.
Good luck with these losers.

Answer 2

Tell the third person,get out. The free ride is over, and since her name is not on the lease, you can do that. Tell the roommate, that you are done with the mess. If she doesn't clean up after herself, you are going to look around for a new place to live, and for someone to take over your part of the lease. When you go, so does all the stuff in the apartment(remind her) That should put a scare into her, and make her do something. You might have to follow through with this.

Answer 3

Why shouldn't she flunk out of school - uh oh. Are you also writing her assignments for her? Any roommate would be better than these two. Your friend would be a good friend if you each met up and went out. She's not a good friend to live with. You will have a lot more money when they leave, believe me!

Let her move out. Advertise for a new roommate, interview the ones who apply. You will get another roommate, no problem. Check that you both have rules on friends staying over weekend nights only, on cleaning, etc. Don't take anyone who wants to move because her roommates are too tidy or too cheap!

Answer 4

1) the cleaning issue
2) the issue with her friend living here for free
3)getting her to chip in on cleaning supplies etc

1. If they can't help with the dishes prohibit letting them use your dishes. Tell them if they can't clean them then they can't use them and have them buy disposable dishes for themselves. When the costs start adding up they might reconsider cleaning up after themselves.
If you find their stuff scattered around the house and you can't stand the sight of it, throw it all into a garbage bag and leave it in their room. Or just throw it in their room.

2. The friend is a cheapo and I don't understand how she can expect to live anywhere for 50 bucks. You should just kick her out or ask her friend to kick her out. Let your roomate know that she's either going to have to start getting a third of the rent from her friend or will have to kick her out. If this doesn't happen, you might try reporting it to your landlord. Its likelly he won't want her staying there without being on the lease as well.

3. You should make a list of items you need together and go shopping together or buy the items on that list separate from anything else. When you get home, split the costs among yourselves. If she refuses to pay, deny her access to the items you purchased for the place. Or move the entertainment center to your room and make sure you lock your door when you go out.

Answer 5

She is your good friend and she has to understand when two of three people are staying together, everybody has to share the responsibilities in doing the house chores and sharing the expenses equally. Apparently your friend has taken advantage on your kindness and since she hasn't changed even after you have talked to her on this, it's time for you to stop being kind girl and take some action. Give her ultimatum that either she shares doing the house chores and the expenses or she has to move out. Give her a period, say 2 weeks to "change" herself. Meanwhile put her trash aside and you clean up yours only, let her know that you mean what you say. Try to bear the mess for 2 weeks. She is a grown up, i am sure she'll understand and change and if she doesn't then i would say she is not worth being your friend anymore.

Answer 6

I don't know the law in the US but generally speaking you should be able to find a way to leave. Maybe advertise your room and sub-let until the end of the lease?

I know you don't want to, but she won't change and you can't throw her out. Perhaps even the concept of you leaving and taking EVERYTHING with you will make her think about things and maybe change her ways...

But failing that, if you can - GO! Leave the grubby mare to it!!

Answer 7

Tell her you are over it.

Write down a list of things you expect from her (and her company, for which she is responsible).

Let her know that she has to meet these expectations if she wants to stay.

If not, you will be seeking another roommate.

If it's her place, let her know you are leaving WITH all of your stuff. If you are on the lease, go talk with the office and ask them what you need to do to buy out of it.

Answer 8

i doubt that you can change her.


you can tell her that if she doesn't start doing these cleaning things ( give her a written list) that she will have to move out within 4 weeks ( or pick some other number, but stick to it.) be prepared to change the locks.the day after that 4 week limit. start advertising for a new roommate. Don't be shy about it. She needs to see that you are planning for her to move.

Answer 9

I think your best bet is to target her friend! Granted that both your names are on the lease but her friend's name is not, so that is her weak link! Tell her in no uncertain terms that you have had enough of her nonsense and you will not tolerate her friend's presence unless of course she gets her act together and does her part of the daily chores!!!

Answer 10

Stand up to those free loaders man,try to be a little selfish and leave their trash alone.or you could just leave.