My boyfriend used to be this funny, sociable, outgoing guy with a natural zest for life. He was nice, sweet, thoughtful and he was crazy about me. We used to do everything together like going to clubs, dinner, movies, etc. However, things changed when he got promoted. As his work got really demanding, he began to get so stressed. He became irritable, sickly, moody, and fights with his manager. He avoided pleasurable activities so we rarely go out. When he became guilty and apologized to me, i tried not to let him feel any pressure by saying its ok, he lashed out that i dont care about him. The next day, he said he he will miss me and he likes me so much but he cant see me for a while because he is so stressed and he doesnt want me to get annoyed with him. He said he also wants me to have fun. Now, I don't hear from him, no calls, no text, nothing. What's happening? Should I reach out to him or give him space? Maybe its just an excuse to get rid of me? Help, please!
2007-11-01 21:46:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
He has taken on too stressful a job. As much as we all need some of the things that money can buy...it is not worth risking our health over.
Support him in finding a less stressful position, let him know that you do love him; understand him...
If he cannot cope, I would get him to see a doctor/therapist. He may need to talk all of this out, and get some professional advice on the matter.
You can take a trip to the library, and visit their self-help section. Books on relaxation techniques, yoga, meditation, organization, time management, etc. may be able to help him---and you.
2007-11-01 21:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u know its hard 4 men to really open up, the thing is to make him comfortable,feel non threatened and ask him what the real prob is. Its probably stress w new expectations that he feels he cant meet
in relationships, u arent in it for the good times only, u should have told him u dont wanna"have fun" without him, cos its not the party,food,drinks thats fun, its him and u and then the rest of da things
he could be mixed up in debts/drugs-these have been known to drastically alter pples moods, but ull never kno till u ask
but if u also ask him he might pull away from u. u need to just get close to him, its like taming a wild hor\se, no sudden mvts, no pressure,just listern, put ur complaints/anxieties/frustrations and questions aside just be an understanding shoulder(dont take abuse tho, it aint worth it), just till he is fine otherwise hell say u only think abt urself
ask once, if he wont say dont ask again cos hell feel pressured, let him feel that he can come to u and tell u,it will take time dont rush into being intimate w him again, u might feel used and he might use u tho not intentionally-it complicates things, dont base relationship on sex, first find the love,respect , trust, companionship
call him once in a long while no pressures of being reunited,just concern, dont overdo it cos hell probably flee.
2007-11-01 22:08:42 · answer #2 · answered by cleo s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the turnaround happened when he changed jobs, so you have to ask yourself is it the job or is it someone at his work and I dont mean another woman, I mean is someone at work giving him a very hard time. Has he bitten off more than he can chew work wise and is not ready to admit that yet as he may see that as a failure or that he has let you down.
Men can be very proud creatures and do not like to think of having failed, I wish they would see it differently and look at it for what it is, and thats they have not failed, its just not the job for them. W e all have our place in society and life and what we love and hate to do.
Listen to what he says,he is telling you he is stressed and is trying to protect you from that, so he is aware of his actions of anger and frustrations towards you. I t sounds to me like he has just got into a situation that he cant handle and is feeling very low and insecure about it. He is feeling like he has something to prove to his boss and to you.
Write him a letter saying you understand he is under a lot of pressure,you are willing to give him space but you need to let him know how you feel in this letter. you love him no matter where he works or what he does, you love him and not his wallet.You will always be there to support him in whatever choices he makes in life, and you will never judge him for his actions.Tell him you dont want to change him because you are proud of who he is.
Least if it is in a letter he can read it and take time to digest it and think about it.
2007-11-01 22:25:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-16 04:45:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
jesus .. its like looking in the mirror with that one!
mine hasnt pushed me away yet :S
i try and give him space but try and be there for him too, hard to say how much you shud give of each!
i dont think its an excuse to "gid rid of you".
there is nothin you can do .. it is orignating from his work (as is my bf's) and you cant make him mpove places or make his manager be nice to him!
try and call him, tell him u feel a little to far away from him.
xxxxx
2007-11-01 23:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by Louise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you have told reveals that he is succumbing into pressure moments. One word at one time and the other one at other time. GIve him some time. Find about his whereabouts and try getting him back. Chances are very less that he may be switched over to some other gal.
2007-11-01 21:50:44 · answer #6 · answered by JANARVIHARAN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you have to talk just once before having a big decision. You have to be frank to each other to bridge the gap between you. If it isn't resolved, maybe you have to give alittle space. But if you're really meant for each other, time will wait until you're both ready to come back to each other.
2007-11-01 21:53:32 · answer #7 · answered by lhein 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to see what is going on, let him know you love him and support him - NO MATTER WHAT!!!
If he was just trying to get rid of you, then you will know. If this job is that stressful, then he really needs to find something else, his health is not worth that......
GOOD LUCK......
2007-11-01 22:00:29 · answer #8 · answered by Optimistic1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahh strung between the need of material survival and spiritual survival. Maybe the answer will come to you, or maybe you can just burn down his workplace. No don't do that. well good luck anyway.
2007-11-01 21:57:16 · answer #9 · answered by mikefromspace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be patient with him, tell him what you are going through because of how he is and always show it in your words that you understand what he is going through.
2007-11-01 21:53:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋