These past few days didn't seem to be pretty for me. I had lots of fights with Michael,my fiance,because he's been drunk and staying out so late at night. One day, I was driving when I stopped 'cause I saw him in a restaurant. I went closer when I saw that he was with my friend,Christine (who recently told me she was pregnant but won't tell with who). Michael seemed so different now, He had been missing on dates and time with my kids(we agreed we would have sex at night but he did'nt show up) I went to my friends for advice and they told me to cancel the wedding. WHAT SHOULD I DO? WOULD IT AFFECT MY PREGNANCY?(if it would then DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH LABOR WITHOUT THE FATHER OF THE CHILD AGAIN?(this time i will have a home birth which would be more difficult without him)
2007-11-01 19:47:44 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I saw your answers and i talked to him and Christine. He said nothing's going on about him and her yet i still think he slept with her during one of those nights and got her pregnant. I got a lot of things to figure out: my kids, the baby, the wedding, and this.
2007-11-02 02:47:15 · update #1
I should just postpone it but if he really cheated on me and got someone pregnant, the wedding is off. He knows I'm pregnant and need a lot of help from him. The kids need him too, they really liked him he seemed to be an ideal father
2007-11-02 02:53:12 · update #2
I may end this question but my problem isn't over yet. Pleae e-mail me for more advice. e-mail: triplefright33
It would mean a lot to me. Thanks
2007-11-03 02:41:45 · update #3
It's normal for guys just before they get hitched to go on benders with their mates, as a way of just having some last minute freedom, but that's not normally a cause for concern.
Best thing to do is to directly confront your fiance about your fears or even better, write a letter to him. I have written many letters and when the emotion is taken out of it(no screaming matches) it works wonders.
If he is being unfaithful, there's nothing anyone can do to turn that around, so it would be best to post-pone the wedding and get on with the most important business of focusing on your up-coming labour. You CAN do it.
2007-11-01 20:14:43 · answer #1 · answered by Shivers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the other guy, it sounds like you should POSTPONE for now, until you can get all the facts straightened out. You need better comminucation between you and your Fiance it sounds like. Are you not able to talk to him about what's happening? Your friend and your fiance deserve the chance to explain what they were doing together. Whether or not you decide to believe them is your choice.
I've probably been watching too much TV, but maybe you should hire an investigator. That way you can find out if he's squeaky clean or not. If he's cheating on you, don't stay with him. That will only make your life worse, and think of what your kids will be viewing. Right now he's not even being dependable.
If he's like this now, think of how much worse he will be in a marriage....
2007-11-01 20:10:49 · answer #2 · answered by blindly_invisible 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you are going through this right now.
Are you marrying for love or for the fact that you are carryiing Michael's child?
The engagement period(leading up to the wedding) should be a wonderful time for couples.
They should be spending as much time as they can together.
If you are going to be planning a wedding, you need to be together.
He dosn't need to be with Christine.
I would say you may have to seriously think about this.
If he is marrying you, what is he doing with Christine?
And, if he marries you, will he be there for you and your child?
I'm so sorry you are going through this right now but IMO if you marry him, you may be facing more hurt than enjoyment.
Marriage is a life-long commitment between two people who love each other.
It supposed to be built around trust and respect.
The fact that he is out a lot and drunk shows some serious concern.
You need to take care of yourself and your baby at this moment.
Don't rush into anything if you are having 2nd thoughts.
What do they say 'When in doubt - Don't!
My heart goes out to you.
take care
Best of luck.
2007-11-01 20:32:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Think of it this way- you don't have to CANCEL the wedding. JUST POSTPONE it until you guys get some serious counseling. Yes, this might just be nerves or it might be something more serious. You're so far into the relationship now it isn't like you are kids, so take time and get the communication worked out.
If he's not willing to go to counseling for working out issues, then he might not be who you want to marry.
You can do it, he can still be at the homebirth and even if you don't get married right now, you could still get married down the road when you work out the problems you are having.
This is an adult thing to do, get some communication going before you add the legality of marriage.
Good luck.
2007-11-01 19:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
While having the child without him will be difficult, do you really want to be with someone who is giving you the serious run-around this close to getting married to you? This is one reason people wait until marriage to have sex. I would not stay with this person and certainly not marry him. Even though he's the father of your child he seems pretty undeserving and there's probably a very good reason why your friend won't say who is the father of the her baby.
2007-11-02 00:55:03 · answer #5 · answered by Rockit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You should postpone your wedding and both of you should go to a marriage counselor to ensure that the both of you are ready to take this huge step. Otherwise there could be some very very hard times to come and you can't say that you didn't see the signs. Best of wishes to you and your children.
2007-11-01 19:55:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if your fiance and Christine already have a baby on the way as well as your pregnancy. Are you sure he still wants to marry you?
2007-11-01 19:52:08 · answer #7 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should call off the wedding especially until you find out who your "friend" is pregnant by and your fiance gets a little help for his issues.
2007-11-01 20:22:21 · answer #8 · answered by yungin4lyfe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't think twice I would cancel the wedding, it sounds like your fiancee has another baby on the way beside yours.
2007-11-02 03:43:21 · answer #9 · answered by HOPEFUL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd be highly suspicious of your friend dining with your husband and also your friend not telling you who is fathering your child, i mean what's the big secret?
Talk to your partner and friend and demand some answers, ask him why he was dining with your friend in the first place???
2007-11-01 19:53:52 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋