Should a Catholic continue a realtionship with non-catholic?

Question

Hello. My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 3 years and we are very serious about our relationship. We've been considering marriage...the only thing is he isn't Catholic. I am a devout Christian; I have gone to Catholic school and high school and am very serious about my faith. I am very tolerant to other religious point of views as well, i simply love studying religions. The whole ordeal would be simpler if he had a faith but unfortunately he is agnostic. He has shown interest into converting, taking classes, and learning about my religion and my customs, only the process between conversion and marriage would take 3+ years. I am flattered at the offer but am afraid its to long of a time. What should we do?

Alot of people seem to think i won't wait. its not that i won't, but i have very overbearing parents. I just would like that to be straightened out.

Thank You all so much for your responses. My boyfriend and i have been through a lot. We traveled halfway around the world and back again to find each other, and we love learning about each other and probably always will. I don't think our parents point of views on our religions will stop us. Thank you all. i feel secure about my decision. ^.^

Answer 1

I'm not sure why the conversion to marriage process would take 3+ years. RCIA where I live lasts from September to Easter Vigil *or* June to Advent *or* a person could meet privately with a priest for instruction on his/her own timetable. Marriage preparation is 6 months. So altogether, that's less than a year and a half.

I think that if he's shown an interest, it's time for him to start investigating more thoroughly, even if that just means reading some books until RCIA begins again, or until he can start meeting with a priest.

Answer 2

If you and your boyfriend are really serious about marriage, and he is serious about learning Catholicism with the possible intent to convert, there is not wait "too long". If you and your's truly love each other, wait the three years. Your marriage will mean all the more to both of you if it takes place three years from now, possibly after your boyfriend's conversion to Catholicism.

As for your parents, with all due respect, they need to mellow out. This is your relationship, not their's. The fact they are in a hurry doesn't mean you have to be.

Your lives together have already experienced ups and downs, based on your "all we've been through" comment. Marriage is no different. The hard tims WILL be easier to weather IF your and your's hail from the same religion.

Answer 3

You have to seriously think about this relationship. If you are a staunch and true Catholic and have no desire to leave your religion, what is going to feel like in 20 years, when the romance has settled down and you have a family.
You have to make up your mind if you really love this boy, in spite of your religious beliefs, and be ready at some point to be swayed around to his way of thinking, later on.

Myself, love is what God is all about. Not God only loving a certain religion or a certain race, but God being love for everyone. Religion has not been an important part of my life for the last twenty years. Yet, from what I read on R & S, I live more like the way Jesus suggested than most of the Christian community, with their judgements and prejudices.

Does your religion mean everything to you?
If so, don't go into this relationship any further. It will only cause trouble in the years to come and you will not be happy.

Answer 4

Glad to see your relationship is strong, so I'll just offer a bit more advice on top of what has been offered here.

Your faith is important to you, as is a tolerance for seekers in other faiths. This is good and will help your relationship as your faith provides a strong anchor for the two of you, while your tolerance will help him to explore his spirituality.

Don't let the conversion process get in the way of marriage, if that is truly where your hearts are bound. Conversion isn't just about agnostic-to-Catholic, but it is for the both of you. Protestant Christians are fond of saying "I'm born again" - consider being open to the possibility of constantly being "born again" or "converted", since we experience a conversion to Christ every time we choose Him.

My wife and I are deeply faithful Catholics, and have continually found that marriage leads to ever-deepening faith for the both of us, and ever-expanding sense of Christ; likewise, conversion should be as noted in Philippians, the good work that is being completed until the day of Christ.

Answer 5

Opinion 1:
Get married! You love each other, be glad of that and be glad of the fact that he is willing to go so far for you. Ignore the difference in belief, not everyone thinks the same way, and no one can change that. The world would be pretty boring if everyone thought the same way.

Good luck, hope you don't take the wrong decision.



Opinion 2:
WHAT are you thinking? You are Catholic. Don't do it! You may regret this for the rest of your life!



Which one makes you feel better?
Use instinct-it knows best-and decide.

Answer 6

Yes, that's fine! If you love someone, things like religion should not get in the way...if you let religion in the way, then maybe you aren't in love as much as you think you are.

My fiance is Atheist, I am Agnostic-Pagan. We don't share the same beliefs, but we realize that our love comes first. It's pretty superficial to make someone convert just so you feel more comfortable about being with them. It's very sad that anyone would try to convert someone they love, or choose to leave them.

Answer 7

I don't understand - how long is too long to wait for your true love to do something so wonderful as to convert for you (well it's not that wonderful if he doesn't believe it - it could cause resentment later)? Do you just want someone ready-made Catholic to meet your ideals? Why didn't this come up at the start of your relationship?

Answer 8

The Jewish custom had persons flow their sin upon an animal (turtle doves, goats, cows) finding on the point of sin that they committed (over 500 regulations the Jewish created). i replaced right into a bloody mess! So, now Jesus died for our sins and Baptism washes away our unique sin. besides the undeniable fact that when Baptism, while we dedicate a grave sin (biffing the ten commandments) we could confess this rather of moving our sins an animal then killing the animal on the alter. Jesus, being God, has the means to forgive sins. when you consider that he has the means, he shares this means with Peter to manage this forgiveness so as that whoever is forgiven on earth would be forgiven ... who ever isn't, it fairly is going to likely be retained. Forgiveness does commence with the prayer to God soliciting for forgiveness, then taking the subsequent toddler step to get this by using a clergyman, then the subsequent toddler step is the penance, then we shouldn't overlook cleansing up the mess we made here on earth by using going to those we've harm and soliciting for forgiveness ... unquestionably, God has forgiven us, yet He does not desire us to flow devoid of gaining knowledge of the thank you to make precise what we've wronged.

Answer 9

So what? If you are actually meant to be together, you'll take the time. If you're not, and you're totally caught up in the immediate, then break up with him. But don't be so superficial. You can either understand or you can't. There is no in between.

Answer 10

yeah,i mean if you love somebody,you love somebody
it's not like it goes away. i would date a catholic,but i'm not
but honestly i wouldn't dat a mexican nor black guy. but a different religion is not that big of a deal. whatever you'r gut,and heart feelings say.follow them.