I have gotten into trouble with drinking recently so my parents bought a breathalyzer. Now everytime I come home from going out, they make me blow in it. I think they are being extremely over the top but I can see their concern with drinking and driving. Finally I have just become so fend up with them not being able to trust be without having the proof that I told them I was not going to take the test anymore. They automatically assumed I was drinking. They found an open beer can in my backseat from a friend who left it in my car and accoused me for it. They now are going to sell my car. How can I get them to not sell my car and finally trust me again? What should I do? Please give suggestions and don't judge :)
2007-11-01 17:20:42 · 12 answers · asked by mgm122 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My friend, Often we place trust in our children according to what we know of their character, gradually giving them a bit more responsibility as we think they are mature enough and trustworthy enough to handle it. We see trust as something that must be earned or negotiated. We may trust according to how much we know of their character, attitudes and behavior. Put yourself in your parent’s place. How would you feel to know that your son have been drinking? Then find in empty beer can in his car, after everything has happened? It is your job and responsibility to make sure no alcohol is around you at all . Why is the open beer can in your car in the first place? You cannot allow that to happen if you want your parents to trust you again. If your friends wants to drink fine but they need to know that they cant put you on the spot with your family, they need to respect you and your personal property (Your Car). You will need to allow the time that is necessary to adjust to what has happened, to allow the new approach to life to bed down and become part of your parents and you lives together, but for now do as they say with no arguments.
It takes time my friend! Attitude and behavior are the major key.
Best.
2007-11-01 17:50:47 · answer #1 · answered by TRANSLOPEDIA 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Trust is hard-won and easily lost. Once it's gone, there is this tendency for the distruster to take the least indicator as proof of guilt. And more often than not, there is little you can do.
I am in agreement that the breathalizer was a little over the top, but I commend both you and them anyway. Them, for taking action to protect you and potential others while you drive, and you, for having the maturity to understand why they might have gone so far overboard. That is really rare.
The fact that you have this maturity should show in your life with them, and you may just have to be REALLY paranoid-careful (ie: perhaps no alcohol around you at all, even if it's a friend's) for a while. Agree to take their tests, and if you absolutely can't abstain from alcohol, maybe even tell them in good faith the next time you ARE going to drink (are you of age?) and what precautions you are taking (like you have a cab lined up or a trustworthy--someone THEY trust--designated driver and a specific time you'll be home...and then DO it).
I can't say for sure that you can fix this before the car is sold, but believe me, there are a lot worse things than losing a car. However, as long as the car is still there, perhaps there is hope. Maybe you can work out a deal with them. For example, say, "Hold off on selling the car for X amt of time. If I (name the conditions, like take the tests whenever they ask) and I always 'pass' in that timeframe, I get to keep the car. I am even willing to have certain provisions on the car when I get it back (whatever makes them feel they can trust you) so you feel confident in this decision." It really sounds like they WANT to trust you, and you sound like someone who could be trusted. But given the breech, you WILL have to work at it.
Best of luck! Let me know how it goes!
2007-11-01 17:35:37 · answer #2 · answered by Gauffsa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Show them you are willing to let them be suspicious and take back the breathalyzer test. The only reason this is bothering you is because you are not walking the straight and narrow. Trust is a precious thing and losing someone's trust is a long row to hoe . Getting back their trust could take a long time, don't get all bent out of shape because they don't trust you anymore, do you blame them? Be willing to do whatever is necessary to be back in good graces. Your attitude right now is not real grown-up.
2007-11-01 17:40:30 · answer #3 · answered by older is wiser 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to them seriously, and ask them to give their son another chance. Tell them you're really learned from your mistakes, and you think that you should start correcting them starting from now, but it would be impossible if they didn't trust you. Also, only your actions and time will build up their trust again, so even if they do take your car away, they will probably give it back to you after a while if you prove to them that they can trust you and that you've changed.
2007-11-01 17:24:30 · answer #4 · answered by julia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
reverce the facts. would you believe a story like you just told.
you got in trouble for drinking
there was a beer can in your car
you wont take there breath test.
you gave them reason not to trust you.
you want to know what to do. give them a reason to trust you.
try taking there breath test with out bitching about it.
do not let friends drink in your car.
trust is earned not given, and you have done nothing to earn there trust.
2007-11-01 18:10:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be patient with them afterall, you have given them a good reason to be suspicious. Remember, they are your parents and they ARE looking after you. I'm sure you're not of drinking age yet and that is a huge reason for your folks to be extra protective of you. Hang in there and with your actions, which I sincerely hope are better, you will prove to them that you can be trusted. But be patient because regaining their trust is not going to happen overnight.
2007-11-01 17:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by Pretty Woman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well sometimes parents have reason to dis-trust us for a while. us kids trying to have fun can mess up and do stuff we shouldnt, it happens. it isnt that they dont trust us so much as they worry about us, sometimes to an extreme, but they dont show it that way. they show it by going over the top. the only thing you can do is wait it out. by being striaght up and proving yourself to them they will eventually let up. talking to them probably wont help much if they go that over the top. just prove yourself
2007-11-01 17:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
one million. Im a teenage and that i dont drink two. you dont pay the cell invoice it isnt yours three. they care so be comfortable four. in case you admit u have a concern they'll calm down just a little five. They dont have got to comprehend whatever what u did used to be improper 6. Trust takes time to rebuid START NOW
2016-09-05 08:03:09 · answer #8 · answered by emilios 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way for them to trust you is for you to do as they tell you or if you move out on your own and become responsible for yourself financially, legally, etc.
2007-11-01 17:27:42 · answer #9 · answered by Thinkaboutit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't blame your parents, do you know many people die a year from drunk driving related accidents? its a lot, try talking them but you have to start by gaining their trust back.
2007-11-01 17:30:42 · answer #10 · answered by cutie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋