Gothic Illusions. Life On The Dark Side?

Question

Gothic Illusions


Forced delusions
upon yourself
Dark clouds the aura
of your health
Pessimism
is your only schism
Though rainbows refract
thru crystal prisms

Time and time
again you cry
Bemoan the world
you want to die
But deep inside
there is hoping
Something scoping
despite your doping

You try to conceal it
With cloth of black
But light can't be hidden
It flows through cracks
Your suicide yells
From the depth of hell
Give way to the chiming
O' Holy church bells

You've been cocooned
Let the ashes fall off
Let the shells of flagellation
Grow fragile and soft
Time for new beginning
Time to end sin
Time to live your life
Let light shine again

I just wrote it. Someone in the poetry section made me think of it.

Answer 1

That was beautiful. Who wrote it?

Answer 2

no longer a foul poem, yet there are some malapropisms..."flagellation" has no shell/s, and your attempt to make that connection falls short. there's a repetative short rhyme type on the top of a few of your stanzas that only approximately sound like Rapp, yet lack the beat to pull them off. you have some solid photos, yet your rhymes are a splash vulnerable at circumstances, then too rhymy at others. it extremely is exceptionally much such as you wanted to pass one way, then replaced guidelines and went yet another. nonetheless, lots of the word alternatives practice promise... save writing