We're getting hitched on December 6th. That's about a month from now. Lately, I've been thinking things like am I doing the right thing and is he really the one for me. It's kinda silly since I know he's the one for me and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. Lately, my insecurities have been popping up and I find myself eating more (my reaction to stress). I know I shouldn't be stressing since he's a wonderful person and I don't see anyone else I'd rather spend the rest of my life with. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy. I've been taking anti-anxiety medicine because I lie awake at night - Can't sleep thinking about the wedding! Part excited, part afraid. Is this normal? It's my first (hopefully my last) wedding.
2007-11-01 16:08:12 · 9 answers · asked by doktorangbaliw 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
To answer PianoPianoPiano's questions:
1. Do you still feel chemistry with him? YES
2. Do you ever fantasize about other people (real or fictional)? NO
3. Has this feeling of doubt crept up recently or has it been lying there dormant for a long time? Is it doubt or dare I say, dread? JUST NOW, WHEN THE WEDDING'S COMING UP
4. Do you get jealous at the thought of him being with someone else? YES
5. Do you envision him as your perfect ideal man, or in some weird way do you find yourself settling? I'VE PRAYED FOR ABOUT 10+ YEARS FOR SOMEONE LIKE HIM TO COME ALONG... SO NO, I DON'T THINK I'M SETTLING.
2007-11-01 16:36:35 · update #1
A lot of people experience this, It is a big decision that should not be taken lightly do to the fact that marriage is forever.
I personally never went through it so I would not know what it feels like, when I married my husband, 22 years ago, It was like Just another day, we had a small church wedding nothing special, well it was in our hearts, but you know what I mean.
It was just like getting the formalities out of the way.
Today's world I know is very different, If I were to get married now, I would probably have a lot of the same stress.
You know if you are ready to do this, no one else can tell you if it is right or wrong, is it just stress, or is it intuition you know.
follow your heart and if you both work together, put each others needs first, and are willing to make self sacrifices for the other, you will be just fine. Marriage is a lot of work, just like any job, the more you put into it, the bigger the payoff.
That is the best advice I can give you yes many people feel this way, it is normal. But if you work together, 22 years from now, you will be answering this question and remembering what you felt like. Don't worry so much your wedding will be great.
Good luck with every thing and please remember, a lot of work a lot of sacrifice but it is all worth it.
2007-11-01 16:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by angie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a really tough one. I think it's probably normal. But you really must analyze whether you think it is simply jitters or if you are actually having doubts. Although I am not getting married yet, I am in a long-term relationship. I know that at some point soon the idea of marriage will come up. But the thought terrifies me right now and I'm not sure why. I can't figure out if I am just scared of the commitment or scared of marrying the guy. Maybe try asking yourself these questions (this is what I am trying to do to analyze my own situation):
1. Do you still feel chemistry with him?
2. Do you ever fantasize about other people (real or fictional)?
3. Has this feeling of doubt crept up recently or has it been lying there dormant for a long time? Is it doubt or dare I say, dread?
4. Do you get jealous at the thought of him being with someone else?
5. Do you envision him as your perfect ideal man, or in some weird way do you find yourself settling? (That question is tricky because some people "settle" and lead very happy lives b/c they believe that the whole "soul-mate " thing is not real and just in the movies)
I'm sure you will know the correct answers to most of these questions...keep asking yourself things like this...and if any of your answers make you really nervous than you may want to consider postponing the wedding (as scary as it sounds). it is always better to wait until it's right....or you it will only end in a messy divorce. Just be as honest with yourself as you can...have courage...there isn't a universally correct answer for this. It's just how YOU want to live your life and will ultimately make you the most happy.
2007-11-01 16:19:44 · answer #2 · answered by PianoPianoPiano 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had pre-marriage ceremony jitters 33 years in the past and right here I am nonetheless married. Pre-marriage ceremony jitters don't seem to be exotic. A lot has to do with all the hoopla surrounding weddings. Why do a little marriages paintings and others do not? Sometimes it's seeing that individuals quit too without difficulty. Marriage is rough paintings - so are all matters worthy. No marriage is best. Combining individuals from 2 specific backgrounds (regardless of how equivalent they appear) is compromise. Heck, simply residing with roomies at institution is a undertaking! Most religions present pre-marriage counseling should you consider that could support. What made my jitters leave? When I mentioned the truth that I would now not be competent to bring a baby because of feminine issues my husband to be supplied to have a vasectomy earlier than we bought married if getting pregnant could be hazardous to my wellness. What a reward for a male to present - BEFORE marriage....giving up his correct to father a baby. Luckily we've got 2 lovely kids - one followed and one normal....each items. People regularly consider we've got a best marriage - heck, we've got had difficult occasions like any person else....however we consistently have been inclined to paintings via them. Good good fortune - matters might be amazing. Congratulations in your upcoming marriage!
2016-09-05 07:59:41 · answer #3 · answered by carol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im having the same problem so i know how u feel. You still love the guy and would hate to lose him - but now that the wedding is coming up you feel sort of stuck. You dont want anyone else but are slightly scared because there is no real way to know if you are doing the right thing or not.
Everytime i start stressing about it i think about my fiance, about how we first met, about our first kiss and all those sort of things until the fear sort of passes. At night time its the worst tho because ur brain keeps thinking bout everything, (im even having dreams about the wedding) Focus on your breathing, this will slow your heart beat down, stop u thinking and stressing so much and calm you down about to sleep.
Good luck for your wedding, im sure you are doing the right thing and have found your perfect guy.
2007-11-01 17:40:09 · answer #4 · answered by katie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you will be okay!! go get some "calm forte" from a health food place. they're little pills you put under your tongue, and they really calm you down. this is SO normal. you know you can't make decisions that would change your relationship when you're in a "freaked out" stage like this. just think about the way you've felt about him in the past. that was when you were a rational thinker; when you were dating, when you decided to marry him. that is how you really feel. it's super scary knowing this is it for your whole life. but really it is a beautiful thing that you've found the person you'll be with forever. it's like the beginning of a new life (together). listen to calming music, too. i always do deep breathing, when i'm stressed out, laying in bed and it puts me to sleep. good luck!
2007-11-01 16:15:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your normal all right you wouldn't be human if you didn't worry. Any life changing event is scary, you think all kinds of thoughts and then when it's times you get married. Is he a good man? Does he make you happy? Those are two good ones to ponder. If you really think about it, You've already answered these when you accepted his marriage proposal. He had to be a good man ,and He had to make you happy or you would have said no. You should think about where you will be in the future, and how your life will be even better, with someone you love and loves you. God I envy you,
2007-11-01 16:22:09 · answer #6 · answered by redd headd 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just got engaged on Monday to the guy I've been dating for five years and living with for two. I was so blissfully happy for the first two days and then reality set in on the third. I talked to my friend about it and worried that I wasn't doing the right thing. She told me that through everything I was saying, it was evident to her that I was marrying the right man, it's the growing up part and ending a stage, but beginning a new wonderful one, that I seemed worried about. So, it's probably just the change you know that is coming and adjusting to a new way of life.
2007-11-01 16:18:08 · answer #7 · answered by Daisy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your jitters are completely normal! Any life changing event can cause anxiety. I'm glad to hear you have taken steps to get the anxiety under control. Stress eating is also a normal happening, although we how suffer with it will tell anyone it's no fun! Take good care, Chaplain Debby
2007-11-01 16:17:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting married is a big thing and is a life change. So, your jitters are natural. Just try not to get to wound up about the wedding and everything should be fine.
2007-11-01 16:11:27 · answer #9 · answered by Monkey007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋