Has anyone of you had these certain feelings toward a person where you love them to death, but sometimes when you think about some of the stuff they've said or done it makes you Hate them so much. Of course the love overpowers the hate but sometimes you just wish they would get out of your life forever, but you know if they did you would miss them like hell. Am I the only person who has felt like this about someone or can you relate? How do you deal with this and who is this person to you?
2007-11-01 15:37:13 · 39 answers · asked by Toy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is a very thin line between love and hate. You can Love a person, but hate things about them. Just ask yourself, do you love them more than you hate them. If you're honest with yourself, you'll know what to do.
2007-11-01 15:41:34 · answer #1 · answered by Squirrel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I've been through like yours. He's my fiancee now and I believe we have weathered the storms in an earlier part of our relationship. I've hated him before because our personalities crashed and he's also done a not-so-good things. Sometimes, the stuffs we hate can be caused by this picture/idea we have in our mind of a happy-ever after relationship. that we forgot to compromise, understand each other. remember that love is not a feeling. It is a commitment. Because if it is a feeling, you'll only love a person during good times and how about the bad times, are you just going to abandon him. It takes a lot of hard work to make a relationship work and this means that you'll just have to forgive him. not just "yeah i forgive him now but if he does it again then i'll...". Forgiving means that you've accepted that he made a fault and he'll start in a clean state. no records of the wrong things in the past, ok. Don't think of the bad stuffs anymore.
I can remember the time when my fiancee and I had a really bad fight, I can remember the tears and his face pleading, no more words for him left to say. as if he's giving up. He said that who will still be left to love him when he's unlovable. HE's given and done everything. I was awakened and I remember all the beautiful memories we have which have greater weight than my pride or selfishnes.
From that day on, I love him always when things are beautiful and more love I'll give when things are not so good
2007-11-01 15:54:37 · answer #2 · answered by bubbles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are confusing some terms because of how you feel.You can not love and hate the same person at the same time. You can love somebody but dislike some of the things they do; or you may hate them and resent the good things they do because they may force you to give them credit. I think what you are experiencing is that you love this person but dislike some of the things they say and do which hurt you ; a situation that is normal.The best course of action is to let this person know the things that bother you, ask them to end them if they love you, then wait and watch the changes if they happen. I hope everything works out well for you since love is by far a better emotion.
2007-11-01 16:10:23 · answer #3 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is such a fine line between Love and Hate. Actuall you hate the things that that person does,his actions.Men can be inconsiderate,they don't think like women.
One thing I learned. You can let all those things build up inside of you until you become bitter toward him and everytime you get into an argument it will keep coming up.Or you can choose to accept him with all his faults and forgive all his wrong doings and move on and be together.Or another option tell him to go and don't let the door hit him in the rear on the way out. Its your choice,at some point you decide how you will allow him to treat you.
My husband and I have been together 40 yrs.
2007-11-01 15:50:33 · answer #4 · answered by rjm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are definitely not the only person....that is perfectly normal. Contrary to what some may think, hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is the opposite of love. Hate is an emotion very closely related to love. I'm not talking about "hate" as in "hate crimes" or "hatred" as in prejudice or plain evil, but about the love/hate feeling you are referring to. What you are experiencing with this "hate" is not so much hatred of the person but of what he/she is doing to hurt you or those you love. It's the act, not the person, although they get confused very easily, and we often strike out at the person.
About the only way you can deal with it is to communicate your feelings to the person, asking if he/she could change their attitude/behavior that is causing you such pain....and it is the pain/humiliation/embarrassment that is making you so angry. If that doesn't produce any desired results, then you are going to have to decide if this emotional roller coaster is something you are willing to put up with (and if it's affecting you, it's probably affecting others around you; it's probably affecting your health, maybe even your career) or if you deserve better. If you come to the latter conclusion, then you need to deliver an ultimatum....change or be out of your life....and mean it.
2007-11-01 15:49:30 · answer #5 · answered by transplanted_fireweed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love someone then you can't hate them. Thats the dilemma with love. Wether it be with a family member or a partner, once you have built up that love it is very hard to get rid of. Even if they treat you like crap you will still do anything for that person. I know how you feel... Just remember that love and happiness are not always the same though, and with patience and discipline you can move on and find someone else in time.
2007-11-01 15:42:59 · answer #6 · answered by slimjimfromlbc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I feel that way and it is very strange.
I have a good friend at work. I see her as my little sister. She's 21, young, and very envious. She can also be a bit spiteful and somewhat ditsy at times.
I'm only 24 but I'm much more mature than she, and some of the things she says and does really hurt my feelings and there are times when I never want to see her much less talk to her but I have this connection with her that I don't fight.
I see her as family, so I let it be. Hell, some people IN my family make me feel that way. Sometimes I want to knock their teeth out but I still love them.
That's real love I guess...
2007-11-01 15:41:39 · answer #7 · answered by Sasha C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I feel it right now tonight and could feel it as I read what you'd written. Yes, I love that way. He is horrible and lies and feels no shame for it, yet I love him to pieces. I am working very hard at no contact, because that is the only way I am ever going to be well inside. He has to leave my life, even if I love him. Hate the actions, love the man, but I do not have to accept him in my life anymore. You will feel better again. You're better than that. Do leave him. Please. Somewhere out there is a man tonight who is desperately hoping to meet a girl just like you, and you cannot meet him till you cut the ties with this terrible person who cannot treat you well.
2007-11-01 15:40:25 · answer #8 · answered by Kyle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You hate the ones you love because they have the power to make you feel the most sad or upset. I think anybody that has been in a bad relationship has felt this. I think if you hate them enough, that will overcome your love and in time, they won't be able to affect you as much. The more you love a person the more they can hurt you.
2007-11-01 15:43:35 · answer #9 · answered by DV_ous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well love and hate are two different sides of the same coin
when needs are being met ones addictive hormone neuropeptides in the blood are making the body and thereby the 'feelings' fed just as any addict getting a hit goes into the high
when needs are not being met
the addict goes into withdrawal
for the brain is not getting the input that causes the addictions to be fed
it is the perfect proof illustration
to the ones that keep flipping coins
that the love is not something they are giving
but something they are in need of
2007-11-01 15:56:00 · answer #10 · answered by genntri 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋