What is the most creative thing you have ever done to get rid of a proselytizer at your door?

Question

I was at my boyfriend's house babysitting his little sister(age 6 at the time) while he and his dad went hunting, and Jehovah's witnesses came to the door. I answered, and they said "Hello! We have some good news!" I said "Thank God! I've been waiting for you!", picked up the little girl and handed her to them. They gave me an odd look, turned around and went to their car, leaving her behind. She thought it was funny, and I thought so too.

What about you?

Answer 1

I hid in a tree until they knocked on the door, then jumped, landed on the porch and slowly rose so the tip of my scimtar touched the tip of their nose. They ran screaming.

Answer 2

once at the same time as camping out I had lengthy previous to apply the lavatory contained in the approach the evening, in spite of the indisputable fact that the lavatories were those ones that merely led immediately all the way down to love an 8 foot pit and my glasses slipped off my nostril and into the pit. I had to bypass and are available across a stick with attempt to make slightly contraption out of tolilet paper to hook around the sides and pull them up yet I wasn't waiting to do it, and then i realized they were slowly sinking in any case and that i likely did not pick them back. So I had to stroll back to the tent variety of huddled close to the floor attempting to stay with human beings's footsteps alongside the course, because i'm really variety of blind. And that changed into likely the most disgust aspect i have ever had to do, as well something else that i'm tempted to assert yet i will restrain myself... :)

Answer 3

Lol funny.

I dont have anything good. Once I told this mormon that I didn't believe in God, and his jaw hit the floor. I live in the south, and I guess he had never heard anyone say that before. As though agnostics / atheists were the subjects of fairy tales. Anyway, this guy about crapped his pants when I told him I wasn't religious. He asked if something terrible had happened in my life to drive me away from God, and I said 'No, not really' and he about freaked again.

Sorry, best I have :P

Answer 4

At times, a question such as this will elicit dozens and dozens of elaborate schemes to spare a householder an unwanted conversation with Jehovah's Witness door-to-door ministers.

All such schemes are a complete and utter waste of time!

Many of your neighbors have figured it out, and it's really quite simple:
1. Open the door
2. Smile (optional)
3. Ask "Jehovah's Witness?"
4. Receive affirmation
5. Say, "Thank you, but I'm not interested"
6. Gently close the door (slamming is rude, but your prerogative)

Please recognize that Jehovah's Witnesses are not primarily interested in converts, but in working to obey Jesus' command to preach (Matt 24:14; Matt 28:19,20).

Learn more:
http://watchtower.co.uk/e/jt/index.htm?article=article_04.htm
http://jw-media.org/people/ministry.htm

Answer 5

HAHA That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Good one.

I'm actually really insulted because they never come to visit me. I'd love for them to show up. I'd invite them in, give them a cup of tea or a glass of water and then ask them why (assuming they are Jehovah's Witnesses) the world didn't end in the 1970s like Watchtower magazine said it would.
If they are Mormons I might ask about that bit about hijacking the pioneers on the Oregon Trail.
Evangelicals, why do they assume that if the Temple of Solomon is rebuilt in Jerusalem that Jesus is suddenly going to appear and if he did, how would they know it was really him?

So on and so forth...

Answer 6

Back in the day, Jehovah's Witnesses would bang on my door and tell me how sinful it was that my husband was in the military(all the guys in the brownstone were in the Navy).

We picked up on their habits, called each other, put on the thrash metal on all floors and told them we were a cult of Satan worshipers. It was fun for about 3 weeks until they started waking my colicky newborn. I was not in the mood and I grabbed a shovel from the back porch. My upstairs neighbor joined me and we chased them out, only to be joined by our landlord, who was wearing a bloody apron because he was making sausage. The landlord just heard/saw us yelling at the guys, so he ran out waving a knife.

They never came back. I'll probably go to Hell for that, one of these days.

Answer 7

I thought it was funny.

I don't have any kids to give them. I usually tell them through the window I'm not interested, they get it. Not very creative but so far effective.

I don't open the door for them, that seems to get the point across better

Answer 8

Lol.

A couple of years ago, some guys from a local Catholic school came to my house. They were endowed with all kinds of nice Catholic Life pamphlets, and Bibles, and all that nice stuff.

When they came to the door, I turned on Marilyn Manson's "Antichrist Superstar," and put the volume at full blast. As I opened it, I widened my eyes, opened my mouth, and just stared at them.

One said, "Did I interupt something?" I continued staring.

They left :)

Answer 9

That was pretty good! I would say " thank you but we already own the Encyclopedia and do not need a new vacuum cleaner" and then shut the door. I find people pushing their beliefs (religious or any beliefs) very annoying.

Answer 10

Answered it wearing an open bath robe , nothing underneath [that was the good part ] and a really protective and really angry 90 lb German Shephard named Tony standing next to me.[that was the bad part]