I am twenty years old and living in my father's house.
We have been having this fight, and I have been stalked by my father on campus and locked in my house and threatened to be disowned if I leave. I have been having night terrors lately and cannot sleep because of it. After talking with a psychologist at my school that I was forced to see, they want to report my father for emotionally abusing me.
I fear my father physically attacking me if I do report him. He has gone after me already but has not touched me because he was stopped in time by my mother. Should I go through with it and report him? Is there any other way to get help without my father getting in trouble with the law?
2007-11-01 13:57:18 · 14 answers · asked by J. Eyre 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
it is very difficult to move out and be on my own. i would have no health insurance, car or car insurance, and i live in one of the most expensive cities in orange county.
2007-11-01 14:12:17 · update #1
my father is trying to "fix" me. he thinks that i am the devil-child.. and now.. he said my grandmother sent him a sign to save my soul.. so he has to do whatever he can to "turn me back to normal." im not promiscous.. he just found out about more sexual partners than he wanted to. he hired a PI to follow me and found all this out after he had a sign in a dream from my grandmother. no.. i am not making this up.
2007-11-01 15:09:24 · update #2
no. my father is not muslim. surprisingly, his family is buddhist, which is to be a peaceful religion. i dont know if i can move far away. i was born and raised here, and you know how they say if you were born and raised in orange county, ca, chances are you cant survive anywhere else.
2007-11-01 16:08:42 · update #3
Your father needs help immediately. Have you thought of what might happen if he should hurt someone else like your mother instead of you? She stopped him one time, but that doesn't mean she could do it again. Suppose he got so angry that he got in the car and started speeding, lost control, and crashed into another vehicle carrying some innocent children and killed them, would you want to live with that the rest of your life? For his sake, as well as for yours and other innocent people sakes, do something to get him help!
2007-11-01 14:25:29 · answer #1 · answered by Virginia B (John 16:33) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is this fight between the two of you about? You don't mention what part you play in this... I can't help but wonder. I have a tendency to want to know all the details when i hear of someone being abused in any way, bcs first.. there part is usually a lot bigger than they admit to.. and second, too often there is no abuse to begin with, the person making the report is just pissed and trying to get back at the *abuser*... when in fact there hasn't been any, or its not nearly as bad as they say.
I'm not saying this is necessarily you, but I would like to get more detail before I reply to this. Too many false accusations in this country.. so until I've learned both sides, I cannot make a determination.
2007-11-01 14:28:42 · answer #2 · answered by wendyrx/piscesfly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, why is your father stalking you at school? Does he not live at home with you and your mother? If he does why is he going out of the house with the added risk of being seen, to stalk you? I do not understand? Why is he watching you and your actions outside the home? Have you gotten into trouble with the law and now he feels he has to control your actions and keep and eye on you.
If you are good now, then be brave and let him know that he does not need to check on you no longer. Tell him that "Dad, I am a big girl now, I have learned my lesson, I will not get into any trouble, so please leave me be, and stay home." See how that works. If all fails, get the help of your school and move out..
Good Luck.
2007-11-01 14:25:48 · answer #3 · answered by Mari-Mari 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a dreadful situation and I don't know the law is the U.S. but your father needs to be stopped before something dreadful happens. Firstly, do you have somehwere else you can stay on a temporary basis, your grandparents or a friend, who will keep you safe. I'm really sorry but your father needs reporting for his actions because it's not right or proper, and I think you know that or you wouldn't be asking for help on this web site. Obviously your mother knows what's happening, so presumably he has control over her as well. His behaviour is not acceptable in the 21st century. Find somewhere safe to stay, advise your mother what you are going to do, so that she may find a safe place to stay and report him. He is dangerous and you need to be safe. Good luck.
2007-11-01 14:11:49 · answer #4 · answered by translatorinspain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me your father is a musilm / Is that correct / Also seem to me that you are not ready to report him to police So you have one choise left Do you have little bit of money Take a bus and go to a town 1000 miles away fom your home Once there buy a newspaper and look the adds for a nanny This way will have a roof over your head and your food plus a salary Call your mother to tell her you are safe but DO NOT tell her where you are because your father can put so much pressure onher that she will crack and tell him whre you are I wish you lots of luck and the courage to take action
2007-11-01 15:54:04 · answer #5 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now your father is trying to control you with intimidation and fear. He can only succeed if you let him get away with this. As long as he feels that his tactics are working on you then he will continue his reign of terror over you for the rest of your life.
If you stand up to him now, and accept the support system that your school is offering you, the abuse and fear can be stopped.
Your father can act as big and mean and scarey as he likes but if you stop reacting out of fear to him then he has no power over you.
Your time is now, so report him now. End his reign of terror NOW!
2007-11-01 14:12:22 · answer #6 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Report him and prosecute. But stay with a friend to be safe. You are 20 years old and have every right to leave the house. You may have to sneak out, but get out. He can't hurt you if he's in jail. Also, he needs mental help. They may be able to help with that.
2007-11-01 14:07:05 · answer #7 · answered by Dustelightful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is his, he needs to get help. this has caused you so much trauma then it is a dangerous situation. You may need to start making plans to move out if you do not want him reported.
Your mental and physical health are more important then his control over you.
2007-11-01 14:06:48 · answer #8 · answered by desiree c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father sounds like he needs some professional help because he is harassing to where you have become scared to death of him. If you love him you will get him the help he needs. Good Luck!!!!
2007-11-01 14:20:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be stopped. The best way is to press charges against him. The school is right.
2007-11-01 14:01:37 · answer #10 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋