My in laws openly disapprove of my husband's and my marriage. It's been over 3 years and they will not approve, will not speak to me, and will not make attempts to be civil. What would you do? Try and put up with it silently? Cut them out of your lives? I have tried to be kind and do everything to make a good impression and get along, but a year and a half ago, after enduring verbal abuse from mother in law, I gave up and we currently do not speak with them anymore.
2007-11-01 13:28:17 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I should add that the verbal abuse was on the phone with my husband, while I was sitting next to him. I could hear the entire thing, and it was rants about how I am not a nice person, and weird lies about how I disconnected the phone, etc.
2007-11-01 13:35:58 · update #1
I don't think you should make any further attempts to be nice.... it's just no use. Your husband is already aware of this and knows it's not your fault or your lack of good will to make things better between you and your in-laws. Everything has a limit and I'd have stopped long ago. Just cut them out of your lives..... healthiest thing for both you and them since you dislike each other. Your husband should understand and take your side..... MIND YOU, I'm not saying he should never see his parents again, he can always visit them by himself if he wants to. But of course if it comes to choosing between spending holidays at his parents' home or elsewhere all alone with you, of course he must choose the latter. YOU are his family now.... and if his parents are compelling him to take sides, he should take yours of course.... but this should never come out of your mouth. Hopefully he's wise enough to do it out of his own will and without being asked to. He should just realize that this relationship is never going to improve and learn to live with it, without upsetting either you or your in laws...... good luck.
2007-11-01 13:45:14 · answer #1 · answered by Lprod 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are your husband's parents so he should deal with them. Personally I would expect him to refuse to listen to anything bad they have to say about you. "Mother, I'm sorry to have to say this, but she's my wife and I won't listen to anything negative about her," something along those lines. Personally I think it's good to have communication with them if possible, but if it's not possible to have constructive communication maybe distance is what you need.
2007-11-01 18:33:45 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would not try to be civil to someone that treated me like that. I also would not tolerate is silently. I would not speak to them either.
2007-11-01 21:07:38 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some mothers are controlling to the end. She might be one of them. She lost control of her kid now and can't handle it. Her loss. Move on.
2007-11-01 14:51:32 · answer #4 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would advise you to cut them off because it's a lost cause.
2007-11-01 20:33:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In you'er last sentenest you answered you own question.
Let them approach or contact you
2007-11-01 13:43:51 · answer #6 · answered by donnie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋