Help me weigh this up.
1. I think I love him.
2. He makes me laugh
3. We want the same things out of life
4. He phones me every day and is sweet to me
5. He ignores me sometimes, which INFURIATES me, he'll talk to people online when I've come down to visit him.
6. I feel really paranoid and jealous a lot.
The last two points are making me want to end it, but I can't work out if this is just me being frightened of being hurt or reading too much into it, or craving too much attention, or whether they are signs that it's just not right.
What would you do?
2007-11-01 13:22:47 · 40 answers · asked by Katrina W 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No! Just talk to him about it. Confront him, and if he's a baby about it, then you dump him.
2007-11-01 13:25:08 · answer #1 · answered by I Need Help 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why not just discuss this with him? Tell him that you feel ignored by him sometimes. Make it about YOU, only you. If you go around saying to him 'you do this, you do that', it will feel like a personal attack to him, and he will automatically get defensive rather than just listening to how you feel and trying to fix it, if possible. Say something like "Sometimes when I'm over, I feel a bit ignored. It bothers me." See what he has to say from there.
The first four things you mentioned are great to feel and have in a relationship, and you two could really click if you work past what your problems are. Don't dump him because you're jealous easily, or that he ignores you. He could doing it unintentionally...guys can be really oblivious sometimes.
Don't end it without discussing it. You need to learn to trust him, which will help you overcome most of your jealousy.
Good luck hon.
2007-11-01 13:28:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1-4 are good.
5 is a guy brain thing. Men's and women's brains are different, this is a manifestation of that. I'm not going to do the whole explanation, but just get over this, it's a typical guy thing to focus on one thing and not be aware of what is around you. Trust me on this. You could ask him to please not get on line while you are there because you want his full attention, but be reasonable about it.
The paranoia and jealousy is all you. Either you trust him or you don't, make a decision and stick to it. This type of feeling and behavior are relationship killers and you should step on that NOW.
Obviously you've got more going on than this, but based on what I'm seeing here 1-4 are good, 5 is something you'll have to accomodate somewhat - and it's best to be graceful about it - 6 is all you, so get a grip on it!
Best wishes!
2007-11-01 13:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, in a lot of relationships you have your ups and downs, your disagreements and your agreements. You'll know when you "love" him because you wouldn't have to use the word "think." But have you tried telling him the things that make you a little upset or annoy you? Maybe if you tried asking him if there's anything he doesn't like that you do, and vice versa then things can be better. Good luck with everything. :-)
2007-11-01 13:26:52 · answer #4 · answered by Briii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men ignore their women sometimes - you'd better get used to that fact fast if you ever want to be in a long term relationship. It's not personal, it's just the way we are.
Your jealousy and lack of trust are simply reflections of the fact that you don't trust yourself. Why don't you trust yourself? Why are you taking your self-frustration out on this loving, kind and compassionate man?
Tough questions but you'd better answer them. You're the only one that can solve this riddle.
FP
2007-11-01 13:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the problem is with you, not him. I'm sure he has a life outside of yours, so cut him some slack if he wants to talk to some friends while you're around (btw, you didn't mention if he does #5 when he invites you to his place or if you show up uninvited). Also note that #6 is you, not him.
2007-11-01 13:27:44 · answer #6 · answered by Eric 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should dump him.
If you do you might regrete it, and you really dont want that to happen.
Give some time and let him know what you feel in a casual way, not in a annoyed or frusterated way because he'll think you are breaking up wilt him.
Good Luck
2007-11-01 13:28:04 · answer #7 · answered by LuvaYuu♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl u are puttin too much on it...you know how us women overreact about lil things...just talk to your man about whats going on and if you both cant come to an understanding about something as small as this then it prolly is best you two call it off
2007-11-01 13:28:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep him. Let him know your feelings regarding the last 2 points. You would probably feel a whole lot better & more secure after you two talk.
2007-11-01 13:29:15 · answer #9 · answered by mardix27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are simply being petty. The things you list that you like about him are the more important ones.You seem jealous (without reason) and I think you may be insecure in yourself and your relationship with him. I think he would be more the one that should dump you for your childish jealousy and paranoia.
2007-11-01 13:42:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. He didn't do anything wrong.
Why not discuss about going out for activity? If he doesn't want to go out then he homesick. I don't think you going to go any further than the bump on the log.
If you think you love him then what have you done to prove it? Did you cook for him or do something special?
2007-11-01 13:28:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋